Judged by the company we keep on the Lot?
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
United States
June 26, 2011 2:22am CST
I lost everything I wrote so I will try again... for some reason my mylot page goes to the sign in page after a period of time goes by and I lose whatever I have written here.
I want to talk about accepting friends and sending friend request. I send friend requests to people I feel I can communicate with. I also look at their profile page for the discussions they have written and the ones they replied to. If I see some where they are engaging in conflicts or talking bad about people on the Lot, then I probably will think twice before sending them a friend request or accepting them.. does that make sense?
It's nothing to do with the person, per se.. but it is that I don't want to get involved in any conflicts myself. I am enjoying my time on the Lot and I don't want my experience here to be affected by any poison that is being entertained here.
How about you? Do you like getting involved in people's conflicts? Are you entertained by the conflicts on this discussion board? I've seen a little bit of degrading remarks on discussions that I would think twice about having friends who wrote that stuff... how about you? Do you check out profiles? Do you take care of who your friends will be? My mom always said we are judged by the company we keep, and I wonder if that is really true?
5 people like this
12 responses
@AgentGulaman (3546)
• Philippines
26 Jun 11
I also encounter problems of losing my posts too. But the problem I think is due to my connection. It really is frustrating to be typing a lot and it'll end up in nowhere. Now I have a habit of copying what I wrote first before sending. If the connection failed me, at least I got a back up of the ideas and thoughts I had although I still had to type it again.
Regarding friend acceptance and requests here in myLot, I do check the profiles of those who I add. But with regards to accepting friends, I just accept everyone. I do believe the effort for such an individual to add me up can be rewarded by me not rejecting them.
As for the people's conflicts, I do avoid it as much as possible. However, if the topic is really interesting and very provocative, I would like to express my opinions regarding that strongly. Well I guess a discussion would be very entertaining and challenging if a lot of people have different views or opinions about the subject. But I hate those who take responses or comments personally. They get carried away by emotions that their sense of logic will be over run by argument. I want a DISCUSSION not an ARGUMENT. In my opinion they are two different things.
3 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Exactly! I too want a discussion and not an argument.. I also don't want to be pulled into an argument going on in a discussion. Some people have this innate desire to argue more than they have a desire to discuss.. and I hate that a lot.
2 people like this
@AgentGulaman (3546)
• Philippines
26 Jun 11
Yep! From the many definition in the dictionaries, argument entails a dispute, contention, a debate or a discussion of disagreement whereas a discussion is just a discourse of a topic, interest of a group on subject or earnest conversation. They are very different. Argument is much of persuading the others that one's idea is correct while discussion is much more like a pooling of the ideas or views each and everyone has. That is only my take on it. Yes, there are individuals who stir arguments and in my opinion they are the egotistical ones. I still love too both argue and discuss which makes me egotistical at times.
. But I'd prefer to discuss as arguing, I think, takes a lot of energy from me.
. But I'd prefer to discuss as arguing, I think, takes a lot of energy from me.3 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Arguing does wear me out too, and I don 't feel good about it. It makes me anxious.. I even hate to go back to a discussion that makes me anxious.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
26 Jun 11
Hi PQ! 
I don't judge people by the company they keep or anything else, online or off - but then that's just me.
I have a whole variety of names on my friend list and the ones that I am closest too are real fun people 
If I am judged by others for hanging out with them then that's fine by me becuae I come here for the fun topics and rarely particpate in anything really serious (and certainlyn othing where there are 'wars' taking place).
I heard the word 'clique' mentioned here a long time ago for the first time and I asked myself if I could (or would) be part of one. The answer was no. I am an individual with my own thoughts and being part of some sort of clan and having to side with everyone just becuase I am part of it, and not becuase I believe in what it believes in, is not my way of thinking at all.
I can be friends with those who have different views, religions, cultures or whatever from mine, and admire and respect them but I do not judge them or their friends. That sounds too much like things that went on at school and not something that grown adults should still be taking part in 
I don't judge people by the company they keep or anything else, online or off - but then that's just me.
I have a whole variety of names on my friend list and the ones that I am closest too are real fun people If I am judged by others for hanging out with them then that's fine by me becuae I come here for the fun topics and rarely particpate in anything really serious (and certainlyn othing where there are 'wars' taking place).
I heard the word 'clique' mentioned here a long time ago for the first time and I asked myself if I could (or would) be part of one. The answer was no. I am an individual with my own thoughts and being part of some sort of clan and having to side with everyone just becuase I am part of it, and not becuase I believe in what it believes in, is not my way of thinking at all.
I can be friends with those who have different views, religions, cultures or whatever from mine, and admire and respect them but I do not judge them or their friends. That sounds too much like things that went on at school and not something that grown adults should still be taking part in 2 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
26 Jun 11
Using up negative energy is not healthy either.
Much better to stay positive and svoid petty conflicts 
2 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
27 Jun 11
Aunt D, you have just won the jackpot on this one! Yep, I agree... I stay positive and I avoid any kind of conflict. Conflict brings me down.. for some reason I get almost physically sick when I open up an email and it has negativity in it... I get tense and don't even want to talk to that person. It takes me a long time to even feel good again when I get tense like that. So I just try to avoid it.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Hi Aunt D! I'm certainly not going to be part of a clique. They are no fun. If you stand up for your own values you are mud in their eyes. There are still lots of adults that behave like children....even in my offline life. I'm pretty much a live and let live kind of person. I try to avoid trouble before it happens.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
26 Jun 11
I don't blame you one bit. I have all kinds fo friends on my friends list here. I do not always get involved in all of their discussions though. Some of them are very conflicting and I will not join in it either. I do think we can be judged by the company we keep. Sometimes the company makes them selves available to us though and we were judged unexpectedly.
2 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Hi Steph,
I'm nice to everyone, and so far have not been in a conflict. I will avoid it like the plague. I've seen an older discussion on someone's (responded) discussions and there were some not very nice things said about another user. I didn't like that and I would not even comment on it.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
26 Jun 11
I have wonderful friendas here, but not everyone who asks us to be friends is going to be the kind of friend we want. There are ways to delete a person later, if you have nothing in common with him/her. And here, as in real life, you get involved with people only as much as you want to.
Take care!
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
26 Jun 11
You are right. We can interact as much or as little as we want. Id rather pick my friends like I do in real life. I watch and listen and see if I want to be friends with a person. Someone who is rude and obnoxious to others is not someone I would align with. I've already seen a few and I'd rather not get involved in those discussions.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
I take particular notice too of how a user name responds to some of my discussions. I have one or two noticed user name who answers offensively. I noted their names so that when they request me to be their friend , i will deny them.
I don't wanna be associated with people who don't know how to respect others' opinions.
2 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
27 Jun 11
Exactly! It is that lack of respect that I don't like at all. The mentality that I'm always right and you are always wrong is something that drives me insane. When a so called friend starts that mess with you, they aren't your friend... they just want you as a puppet. I'm speaking on or offline. Good to see you Simplyd.
2 people like this
@scentcastle (241)
• Philippines
26 Jun 11
I believe that we are judged by the friends we keep. It's always best t stay with people that could make you better as a person. I've heard and seen some users here at mylot that are pretty off for my taste when it comes to their comments. But still, a little argument wouldn't hurt that much. That is what keeps the mylot community pretty interesting. It's a huge melting pot of people from different cultures and points of view. It's interesting but as for me, I usually add some users here at mylot that I get inspiration from. Those users who are actually hard working and interesting to talk with in discussions. I like to learn and if I learn something from particular people around the web, I totally appreciate them. So I guess, it's still best to choose people you think would help you be a better mylot user. :-)
@scentcastle (241)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
Hi again PointlessQuestions. you seem like a nice person and I've just sent you a friend request. hoping to see more of your discussions and learn a lot more from you.
Have a good day and stay away from negative people. Happy mylotting! Take care.
2 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
27 Jun 11
I accepted, thank you! Hope we will become good friends and support each other here.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
26 Jun 11
I agree with you Scentcastle. I like having friends that I learn from and those I can have great discussions with. They may have lots of numbers behind their name of just a few.. it makes no difference to me. I like people who try to keep the peace too.. I appreciate them. I don't like to align with people who go out of their way to make other people feel bad.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
9 Jul 11
Personally in the course of the 4 1/2 plus yrs. that I have been a member here I have seen a lot of arguments and disagreements here, and even some serious name calling of members here if you will. There have been times it has ran off others, and many of these were quite active here once as well. It does get quite annoying when you see these type of games, and makes you wonder what type of Cruel person these people could really be in person. If we would take time to remember we are real people here this place would be a lot better place to want to be for all.
@pinklilly (3443)
• Australia
26 Jun 11
Hello PQ's
I hate it when I lose what I have typed. It happens occasionally. I have been accessing mylot from my phone, so sometimes it decides to play up and I lose it... That's really frustrating ....
I try to Avoid conflicts too, I Don't want to be involved. It hurts people's feelings which I don't think is nice. I
accept basically all Friend requests, I always check out their profile. I like to give them a chance first.
I usually send requests to users that I find interesting or really nice. If I like what they have writen etc...
About being judged by the company we keep. I think that maybe true for some but I don't like to do that. In reality it maybe more so true. I believe in giving everybody a chance. I'm the one stuck in the middle usually. In school I had two best friends who didn't get along and I stuck by them both equally. On here at least you can delete them or just not add them as friends.
@pinklilly (3443)
• Australia
28 Jun 11
I see your point it is best to avoid them.... You can also report them too!
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
27 Jun 11
Hi Pinklily,
I look on their discussions and the discussions they have replied to and if I find that they say hurtful things about other lotters, then I will most likely steer clear of their discussions. I just don't like negativity, and will do my best to bypass it or entertain it.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Jul 11
PointlessQuestions I suppose that is true and yet sometimes in the interests of helping others one may help someone whom some here may not like and thats not something I can help at all. I try my best to be friends with all mylotters but if I see someone insulting one of my close mylot friends I will at least caution them that what they said might not go over very well with the admins if this persists I will just hit the exclamatikon point and let the admins handle. I do not fight with people and I have found that one must be very careful or what you say can be misconstrued and someone is angry with you. I am careful whom I have chosen as friend or rather I am careful whom I accept as I have not had to ask many to be my friends.I do mot like getting involved with peoples conflicts no but it not enjoument but loyalty if I come to the aid of a friend who does not deserve someone badmouthining her or him. thats not enjoying anything thats sticking up for someone you like.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
8 Jul 11
I'm going to stay out of the wars, for sure Hatley. If someone causes a ruckus by things they say and they get jumped on by other lotters, I'm going to mind my own business because they brought it on themselves... BUT... if they are being insulted for no reason or whatever, I will hit the (!) button.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
27 Jun 11
I don't intend to get into any conflist on mylot or anywhere else if i can help it. Had all the conflict in my life that i need. I can hang in there w/the best of them if i have but had rather avoid it if i can. I think your mom was right.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
27 Jun 11
I don't either. I will hold my temper until the person pees in my corn flakes. Then I get fired up. I don't like to get that angry so I just walk away from people who just have to have conflict and drama in their lives here on the lot.
2 people like this
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
9 Jul 11
I never mind the conflicts within the members of the my lot family.
We all are to be good friends here.
I am giving full importance to friendship. Giving response, sharing my views is the first preference.
What we earn with conflicts? nothing.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
9 Jul 11
I'm not getting into the conflicts here either. I've seen a couple of them and never commented.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
26 Jun 11
"We are judge by the company we keep". 100% true. But in forums like this when we come for the first time -- we need to familiarise ourselves with people and the mthodology. I chose to become friends with youngsters, old people, people from USA, India, Philipines like that. After a few discussions, we come to know with whom we can vibe well. With people who were not happy with our comments the number of dicussions will automatically come down.
The problems will be more only for youngsters say people in 18-30 they want to stand first everywhere and in all situations. But for people like us in 60s it is ok.
We are here to guide others and benefit a few dollars.
2 people like this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Yeah, sometimes I even look at their friends when they ask me for friends lists and I don't know a lot yet, but when I see people who have trolled other users or been not nice to them, I will think twice about friending them.
2 people like this
