A Friend Who Has a B.O.
By asiacevillar
@asiacevillar (643)
Philippines
June 28, 2011 7:50am CST
I had a classmate back in high school who's also a close friend of mine that had this B.O. or body odor. Every time his body perspires, I could clearly notice his very unpleasant smell because it really stinks, which particularly I suppose came from the axillary part of his body.
I felt pity and sad for him because there were times our other friends make of him as a ridicule and to make it worse, neither a single friend or a relative of him could tell to him his problem- And that's when I entered in the picture.
At first, I was a bit reluctant to tell him about it because I thought it might affect our friendship. What I did of course is to make an action plan which goes:
a) the appropriate approach on how should I tell him in a way that is discreet, furtive and in an assertive manner and more importantly, one that won't hurt his feelings.
b) what to do if he'd react in a negative way.
Fortunately, my action plan pushed through because he was able to admit and concede to it. To my surprise, he even thanked me for doing so, for being frank and for being such a very good friend to him.
Since that day, he began to take the lesson and began to take god care of his own body. And since that day, our friendship grew stronger than before.
Being a body- conscious is indeed one important thing to be considered and to be loked upon especially when a person is a fully grown-up, wether we are single or married, we should practice proper personal hygiene at all times to maintain a healthy body and to stay clean inside and outside. inside because we could avoid mockery and negative talks.
What do you think would have happened to my friendif I didn't exerted an effort to tell him his problem?
Do you have or had a a friend with the same situation as this? Did you tell it to him/her? If yes, what was his/her first reaction?
Any other circumstance about the topic..Pls share it here.
Have a good night fellas.. God bless!
3 people like this
8 responses
@denisepadin (105)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
When I was a still a nursing student, we are taught that when we go to duties, we need to make sure that we are properly groomed and clean. You need to consider also your scent. You should not apply perfumes only cologne. Once, we had this classmate that has also a B.O. At first we are not sure if we are going to tell him because he might get hurt. But eventually we did and you know what? It really improves his grooming and the way he carries himself. I think in situations like this we need to inform that person but in a way that he'll not get offended.
@asiacevillar (643)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
yeah that's true! I also had the same situation as you are before, back in my Nursing days. We had a classmate in RLE and we were in a hospital duty, I was so busy filling up my duty chart on the nurse station when suddenly I smelled a very bad- smelling armpit odor and found out that, without a doubt it was my girl group mate who was beside me, also doing her charting. In my disgust, I promptly turned to the other side of the nurse station where the smell couldn't reach me, I also thought of telling her but I really couldn't, because she's not a close friend of mine ( which in this case is the difference with my subject above), and since gossip is not my style, I told it to her friend who was also my friend. I was very concerned for her. The next year I never saw that girl again, perhaps she transferred into another nursing school.
Girls are expected and should be more attentive to their personal hygiene more than men do. That was really disgusting.
1 person likes this
@asiacevillar (643)
• Philippines
30 Jun 11
yes you're correct but there are really times we just can't do it to other people. It's so easy to say yet so hard to do. Good for you, you were able to do it for him without any reluctance but we should do it in a furtive, assertive manner as what you've said, which is the right thing.
A nursing student are expected to be practicing proper personal hygiene because they're not only a para-medical worker but role models of health, and therefore cleanliness and tidiness must be observed and maintained at all times.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
28 Jun 11
In nursing school we are taught to be assertive; so we should be able to approach an employee or nursing student. I have had to confront an employee once who smelled really bad.. he smelled like onions all the time. I did approach him and told him he could go home and clean up and come back. He did clean up and came back and I never had to address the issue with him again.
@starrose_ara (784)
• Philippines
29 Jun 11
It is awfully hard to advice somebody to do something about his or her bad odor. It will take guts on your part to tell him or her about that. It would be helpful to talk with the person concern when you are alone with each other so as to avoid embarrassment on his part. It is good that your friend looked to your advice as something constructive than being simply pissed off by what you said.
@asiacevillar (643)
• Philippines
30 Jun 11
Hi starrose_ara
"If there's no will, there's a reason; If there's a will, there's always a way"
Actually, there are other ways to convey our message to someone if we are quite hesitant to tell them about something. We can tell them through funny jokes which has a message about his problem- one that makes them ponder and realize about, at the same time makes them to relate the message to their own self. That way we can tell them in a different way, and it's really up to them whether they'll +ly or -ly react to it, if they can't admit it then so be it. Just leave them be.
And We should not feel guilty. We don't have any other intention but to help them, it's only for their own good.
A person who's willing to help will always find a way no matter what it may bring as long as it is for the sake of a brother or a sister.
Thanks for sharing your experience..Have a good day and God bless!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
28 Jun 11
You were a very good friend indeed to tell your friend that they were needing to find appropriate ways to cleanse themselves. Sometimes it isn't the person's fault, it's just that they have not found the type of soap or deodorant that will mask their particular stench, espcially if they tend to perspire more then others.
I am sure you were very nervous to have to tell your friend this but you were very good to do it anyway and you see that it paid off and your friendship stayed the same. Maybe he just needed that one person to tell him that he was smelling and it made him wake up and take better care of himself.
@asiacevillar (643)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
when I asked him if he's aware of his b.o.,he said to me that he's aware of it but not to an extent that it stinks and if it is that bad-smelling more than what he thought. He also admitted that he did not use any deodorant or other antiperspirant products.
and yes, I was feeling a bit nervous at the time I am going to tell him. my sweat were dripping at that moment. lol but I was glad that it paid off.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
I admire you courage to tell your friend about his bad odor. Honestly, if you will ask me if I could do the same, I would say No. I just don't have the courage. Maybe to a sister or a brother it is just very easy but to a friend, I'm afraid it would embarrass her so I'd just wait till somebody else tell it to her.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
28 Jun 11
I have a friend who had bad body odour in the past, and I had to tell him in the end because people were talking about him behind his back. It was because he didn't know that he smelled badly, so he was actually quite grateful to me when I chose to tell him about it. He now showers every morning and uses a deodorant and body spray that I recommended to him, and nobody talks behind his back anymore, so it has improved his life tremendously and he has actually thanked me for that. I think that your friend would probably thank you too.
@asiacevillar (643)
• Philippines
30 Jun 11
we actually have had the same situation, you just missed my words above, you didn't read it completely.
Anyway, it's really a gratifying feeling every time I am able to help a person with a problem, even though in my own little way. We must not be selfish to someone who needs help or a lending hand.
Thanks for sharing and for your response.
Have a good day!
@cheatedaphrodite (810)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
You did the right thing for him. He should be thankful because he has someone who cares for him. Your concern for him is sincere and it's good that he took it positively and did not react the other way around. He has a good thinking and you are lucky to have a friend who know how to accept and listen to others. I hope your friendship will last forever.. Viva forever to both.. :)
@asiacevillar (643)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
Thank you.....absolutely.It was a sort of a symbiotic relationship.lol..he must be so grateful to me, if It wasn't because of my efforts, He wouldn't be able to realize that he had this problem.
Thanks for the response. God bless!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
8 Jul 11
Sometimes people sweat more if they are nervous - I have a friend whose mouth goes dry and his breath smells when he's nervous. It's not because they are dirty or unclean.
Usually, a change of deodorant is called for. I worked with a girl who would positively stink once a month. She would be sent out to apply deodorant and she would be in the female locker area spraying herself mightily with sickening smelling body spray which was absolutely useless...the BO mixed with the scent was ghastly...thank goodness I didn't have to work along side her.
Sometimes, telling someone isn't enough. You need to suggest they use a proper deodorant as well. I know if I have a problem with odour...how come these people don't seem to realise? maybe they don't care.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
28 Jun 11
Hi Asiacevillar,
This is great that you were able to approach your friend with this delicate problem. I’m glad that your friend was open to your observations. You were clearly sensitive to his feelings, and that is so vitally important. It could have gone in another direction, if he had taken offense to what you had to say to him.
I also have a friend who has a bad body odor; she doesn’t wear deodorant very regularly, and it is evident she doesn’t bathe that often either. I have given her a ride to church a few times and it was awful. She left a smell in the seat of my car and my car stunk of her. Her husband even complained to me once that she has a bladder problem and she leaks all the time, but if he says anything about her smelling she gets her feelings hurt, but still never cleans up. I tried to speak to her about her smell, since I was carrying her places in my car. She got upset and got defensive. Someone for Christmas gave her a really pretty bath basket of soaps, shampoos and body washes and she got offended because she felt someone was sending her a message. There was no name on the gift, just my friend’s name was after the TO: and the From: was from Jesus.. so no real name was given.
It’s really hard to tell someone they need to clean up… you did a good job!
