would you ask the money you loaned?
By zenki08
@zenki08 (700)
Philippines
June 29, 2011 1:43am CST
Okay here is the situation, Some of you might have read my previous posts that I recently ended a very stressful relationship with a woman who I really love but has given me nothing but problems. she just used me and used emotional blackmail to get what she wanted.
Now here is the situation. During the course of the relationship, she has borrowed money from me. which she has promised to return. I would like to point out that it came from her that she will pay me back and everything was a loan.
The money she has borrowed has already accumulated into a big amount. Everytime I mentioned the thing about the money she would get irretated and say things like "don't worry I would do everything just to pay me back". This is her statement even before we broke up.
I told her that I need everything that she borrowed. If you were in my position would you still ask for the money?
Honestly I am not expecting it back, I just said that to give her something to think about.
I am also thinking of just letting everything go. I'm going to do this just to cut everthing with her, because basically that is the only thing that connects us now.
Would you also do this?
3 people like this
11 responses
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
30 Jun 11
Let it go with the ended relationship. If you don't care about the money, let it be and don't try to make her pay for it. Ending your relationship does not have to be dependent on her returning the money she owed you. Just forget about it as you are forgetting about her, too.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
29 Jun 11
If I really don't want or need the money then I'd let it go. I wouldn't want to have to deal with the person again if I don't even want the thing we have to deal with. So just let it go. But if you actually need the money, then go pursue her for that money.
I have been into that situation (though I don't think she just used me), I needed the money, but I let it go. I looked for some alternative to support what I needed and just leave my ex alone. Just for both of us to move on to a new life, new beginning.
So think about it, is it worth all the hassle? Or do you really want to get back at her that you're doing what you're doing? If it's not worth it, then don't do it. or don't continue doing it.
Bless you.
chuyins
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
29 Jun 11
To answer your question, Yes I do need the money. But I have decided that I will just find other means to cope with my needs.
I do not want to trouble myself going after her. I must admit I'm sad and mad at the same time for what she did. But I'm not the type of person who likes hurting people. It's better for me to take the punches than to give them.
But I will not tell her that I'm gonna let this go. I will just remain silent and see if she exerts any effort in returning the money. This way I'm giving her the chance to prove me wrong. If she returns the money then good, if she does not it's all up to her.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
30 Jun 11
I'd say "good decision pal"... Letting go of that matter would help you move on now. Well, it's also a good measure how sincere she was on paying you (which could prove you wrong that she's just used you).
Kudos! for making such a tough decision! Bless you. 
chuyins
chuyins
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
9 Jul 11
Personally most of the time when you loan someone money who you consider a friend at the time, they say most of the time you need to Write it off and consider it a gift and a lesson learned. But if she is still insisting she will pay you back then you could confront her, and ask if she has any of the money you loaned her. If she still acts like she knows nothing, or will eventually pay you back you might be Best to leave it alone and count if off as a gift?
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
30 Jun 11
That sounds exactly like me in the past. The girl I dated before, she also borrow me a lot of money, which she never pay me back, and I stupidly believe what she said. Now, I am done with her, and she is gone somewhere. I wish that I can have my money back, but it seems impossible now. Oh well, what is over and over. Just a reminder, if she ask you borrow money again in the near future, don't let her borrow a dime. Hang up the phone.
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
30 Jun 11
If you don't want to have anything to do with her anymore and you yourself said that you don't expect to get the money back, then let it go.
I had the same situation with you and to cut ties with that woman i just cut everything including our communication. So i never asked her to pay me back at all. HOwever, sometimes i do regret not asking for it back because it was a very big amount. But then it's better than having her around making my life more miserable.
@sarahbear27 (2)
•
29 Jun 11
Although I can tell from your post that this has been hard on you financially and emotionally I would suggest cutting your loses on this one.
You do need the money, however, she's not likely to pay it back and she may very well end up coming back into your life if you pursue this and then you will be going round in circles.
This whole situation is holding you back emotionally and it would really benefit you to move on from this and start fresh.
Try not to look at what you have lost but rather what you have gained. By letting go you will not only be freeing yourself up emotionally but you will also move on from something which has been holding you back.
Go with your instincts :D
@marriedman111399 (1207)
• United States
29 Jun 11
If you both really decided it was a loan then I would have gotten her to sign something that said it was a loan and then when she did not pay the money back you could take her to court and try to get it back. I bet now that you are broken up with her she probably will not pay you back and you have no way to prove to anyone that it was a loan. I would not loan good friends or family money. I would give it to them if I had it but would not loan it to them because I would feel weird asking for it back.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
29 Jun 11
I would never let a friend forget about it if they owed me any money. If I lend money to people, I make it perfectly clear at the beginning that I will need it back from them at some point because I simply cannot afford to let people take money from me without taking it back at the end of the loan. I wouldn't let them forget about it as it is unfair if it was a large amount of money, because I work very hard for every penny of my cash and don't like it when people think that just because you have a lot of money you can afford to give it out to other people for free.
@somethingbig (282)
• United Arab Emirates
29 Jun 11
If you don't need the money just let it go because if she has the intention to pay you back she would give you any small amount until she'll be able to pay you back fully. But if you need the money tell her to at least pay a part of it.
@polaris77 (2040)
• Bacau, Romania
29 Jun 11
If you want this woman out of your life for good and are determined to do so,I think you could just let it go and don't ask for the money again,but if it's a big month I don't think it's fair for her to remain with this money after you went to so much stress and suffered because of her,she simply doesn't deserve it,so if you have any proof that you lent her the money and she refuses to pay back,you should go to justice and take your money back.
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
29 Jun 11
yes sure I would mention the money and ask her at least to give me half of it back when it was a loan and she knew from the beginning. She must have known as she says she will give it back to you so if I were in your shoes I would meet her and ask her even if its only a small sum monthly to pay that money back.
Unfortunately I have also lost quite a bit of money to a so called friend but she is in another country and as we dont speak with each other any more no way for me of getting the money back
