Going to be a step mom

Hello lisa, that's a normal feeling and I totally understand how you feel. Just stretch it out and deep breath. Just be happy for your fiance loves you so much more than their mother. Just be open to instances that he will always give time to his kids. Always keep in mind that he really loves you and you guys are getting married really soon. JUST STAY HAPPY AND DON'T THINK ABOUT NEGATIVE VIBES AT THIS MOMENT.okay? :)

I don't think there is a right way to deal with this, but you're taking a step in the right direction. You should continue to be yourself, because that's the woman this man of yours was/is interested in. Changing who you are to impress someone else never works because you aren't being true to who you are. If the kids love you and he loves you that should be enough. I know how hard it must not feeling secure in your relationship, but maybe the best thing to do is to be honest how you feel. Sit him down and talk to him and let him know how you feel. Perhaps after the wedding (or even before) you can do somethings together as a family. The children will always have the right to see their mother (unless there is a legel reason they can't). But, the children will (and probably ) will love you too. Sharing isn't as easy, but it's needed sometimes.

I think the others have already given you all the best advice. Be yourself ,hang out with them ,don't try to buy them off..lol Go to the school programs and stuff with dad , and don't worry what their mother thinks if you are going to be in their lives as their step mom it's your time too.She is just going to have to buck up and get use to you being around. Good luck Hon!

For me that's the thing is hard to deal with the kids and to there mom because they want there real mom if the kids not nice to you it is there feeling so be it.

Of course you're anxious! Your life is about to change in many ways all at once. I have a friend who coined it the "drive thru family" . . . of only it were that easy. You need to be a wife first and a friend to his children. Will you be in a parental role? yes. You and your fiance (or husband now) need to discuss what your role will be in their lives. This is going to be fluid, it will always be changing. Don't try to be their Mom, they have one, but that doesn't mean you cannot be an amazing stepMom and someday a mother to your own children. Don't feel like you have to compete against his ex. Yes there is history there, but don't try to compensate for her shortcomings in THEIR relationship. It will only lead to hurt feelings and false expectations, especially if that is not something you would normally do. Don't try to buy their friendship or loyalty. Give them time to accept you and your new role in their lives. Also realize that they have a new role too! They're stepkids. If his ex is amiable, try to meet with her for coffee at a neutral, public location. Discuss your expectations. They may not be nearly what the other hopes, but get it out there. Be reserved, don't gush your deep, dark secrets, but be kind and cordial. You want to be able to get along, especially in front of the kids. You don't have to be shopping buddies or anything, but you have a common interest in her/your husband's kids. If you feel left out when he goes to their functions, express this. Sure they're gonna have one on one Dad time, but that doesn't mean you cannot do things as a family. Good luck!!!