Now That's A Bit Too Personal!

As a private individual in real life,mostly sharing my personal life with close friends and family.i do feel one should be cautious as to what they're willing to divulge here, even though i think it's fine to be able to share some personal situations, especially since people like you and many others, i find to be very supportive and kind to those who do this. To be honest, i have read quite a few discussions where i was really surprised to read what some people were willing to post about themselves and others in their life and even though the responses have been mostly supportive, i have noticed some really cruel replies and wondered if it may have been a good idea to divulge too much and whether how this may have affected the OP after reading these.

Believe me I do a lot of reading here and have noticed a great deal of negative responses to very deep discussions. Perhaps some do get sadden enough and not return. However, based on the large number that do start very deep personal discussions they do realize that not everyone will agree. Take gifts above for instance, she does not always get positive responses and to date it has not deterred her from starting more. myLot is truly good for her as she has grown a lot here, and admittedly to all on here that since doing what she does on myLot has helped her as she has found many helpful responses from both sides of perspective. I have seen her handle the negative ones really well and though I have not known her for the years she has been a member here, during the time I have been here, I can vouch in the beginning she saying she would cry and leave if anyone was negative. But I believe she has outgrown that type of feeling as she has come to understand that not everyone will agree and or be positive and I have followed a great deal of her discussions and can honestly say, myLot or rather the members here have really helped her. But, and there is a but, it came for her as she understands putting out all her personal life here she must accept both sides. This my friend really what it is about, if one must say it all, one must be prepared to receive and or hear it all too. Not doing so will not work and they will be hurt. Now that is their responsibility though as no matter what it is their choice.

I did want to add that I too as you would not enter a personal discussion though unless I did have personal experience with it as I can't imagine being helpful, if I did not at least have some of experience in some way or other with the topic. Also many actually do start personal discussions as a way of so to speak have others listen. Quite sad if when they do get some form of negativity and or harsh words, but hopefully they can read through all the responses and understand that it is no different online as it is offline where not everyone will be supportive. So yes, though their decision to a sense yes they really need to think a bit before, starting a discussions and if perhaps the responses are too much too bare then maybe not a good idea. I think we do this offline too, no? Where as you say we limit to who and what we say.

I also agree it does take a certain amount of courage to post a personal discussion,since you never know what type of replies you might receive and IMO, this may be quite upsetting to someone who has just poured their heart out and instead of getting the comments they were looking for,received rudeness instead. but, if they're willing to post anyway and are doing it just to vent and get it out, then i guess it's worth it to them to take this chance

I am like you GG where we give just enough to perhaps share life experiences where a member can benefit somehow. But there are certain things about me I don't care to disclose offline and or online. There are some discussions and or interests I do not enter either as, though it is okay for them and others but some are just not something I can relate to.

GG i can so relate to your reply. since i also keep much of my life private as well that is a preference of mine and i also do not respond to many personal discussions either, since what may be impersonal to some, is just too personal to me and so i have nothing to contribute to it.

Yeah, they took the risk by posting their lives here... I could only try to avoid responding negatively to the post and hope the poster realize their mistakes sooner.

The OP may not mind posting the discussion, but,i wonder how they feel, if after posting they receive some really negative replies. Do they ever regret doing so? or,could it be it doesn't matter to them as long as they get out what they wanted to say and never worry about their responses? If you and i tend to be embarrassed by what we're reading and due to this we don't reply to the post, what about those who DO respond and decide to tell the OP that the post was just too personal and go on to negatively rate the post, or worse, ridicule the OP for posting it.Either way,the poster is taking a risk by posting a very personal discussion.

Telling a stranger your problems may be easier but, the problem is you never know what type of response you may receive even if, the person doesn't see you and will probably never meet you as well.as it is here on Mylot But,if you are someone who can take the good with the bad,and not be overly sensitive to certain comments you may receive, then i say, go ahead and reveal what you wish. You and i do differ on very personal discussions, since i find it difficult to even so much as read them, i feel as if i'm intruding on their life, even though they put it out there for all to read.

Actually, I think I may be at some advantage when telling my problems to a stranger (one on one). In the sense that he/she has no other source of info about it other than me, so all the info he gets is controlled by me, and might even put me in a better light than in reality... so chances are what he will say to me will be in my favor. =P But even if it's not, it's ok. I think I am one who can take the good with the bad as you said. Or at least I hope I can and I try. =P Anyway, I do like to see all possible points of view on matters. I try to do that on my own - figure out how things can appear from different points of view. But even if I manage to think of a million (exaggerated =P ) ways of looking at things, someone somewhere out there will surely have one I haven't thought of. And I'd like to hear that as well. Yes, we do differ. But that's ok. =) Different strokes for different folks, as they say. =P It is their choice anyway, if they want to share personal issues to the world. Each has their own purpose. Some ask for advice or input, some just want to share their experiences in the hopes that others will learn from them also. And when they do this, it is in itself an invitation to 'intrude' into their lives, so the reader need not feel that way. In the same way, it is your choice if you do not want to read on if you find a discussion that you feel is too personal. =) I suppose that's one thing nice about open discussions. You as one reader need not to feel obligated to answer because surely there will be others who will find the discussion and they can answer if they want to. So the burden is not all on you. =P

Whether we're posting or responding to discussions,many times a bit of who we are do seep through even if it's unintentional. This also happens when we're advising others about their own personal problems or situations, since in order to do this, some things about ourselves will be revealed especially if we have been n a similar situation. However,i still think one should be cautious in just how much they're willing to reveal here, since not everyone may be as supportive or helpful as the OP would have lied and this can be very discouraging and upsetting to some people.

typo: as the OP wold have "liked"

Yes it is their preference and if their comfortable with this,that is fine with me.There is nothing wrong with posting a personal discussion and i will even respond to some if i feel i can help in any way. I'm just not comfortable in responding to very personal discussions since i feel as if i shouldn't even be reading them in the first place.

Totally agree, i also skip many very personal discussions for the very same reasons you mention here and i'm amazed at what some people are willing to divulge about themselves. Plus, i also agree on who i will share my personal life with limiting this to very close friends and family i just feel more comfortable doing this.

Yes, it's all about a persons comfort level and if they receive the comments they were hoping for it's an extra bonus. but,do believe that if one isn't willing to realize that there may be some negative responses and they are sensitive to these types of comments and would become upset due to this, they should be extra cautious as to how much they're willing to divulge here, but, if not then i see no problem in posting about anything one wishes to.

Of course i do not judge nor am i critical of anyone who is able to post very personal discussions,just surprised at their willingness to do so. I guess this has a lot to do with my being a very private person who will share my personal business only with close friends and family.So, i may be someone who would be more likely to be somewhat surprised or amazed at what others are able to divulge here.

As HWG mentioned in her above response,if you realize "before" you post a personal discussion, that some people may not be as forthcoming or even polite in their response to you and it really doesn't matter, as long as you're able to, as you say"kill your demons" than i say, go right ahead and share what you wish. I just think there may be those who might regret posting too much personal information, especially if they may be sensitive to comments that are rude or unhelpful, even though they realize no one knows their true identity.

I agree, i'm just sometimes amazed at how much people are willing to put out here, but, certainly not judging or being critical of them. if doing this helps them in any way,then it's all for the good and worth it.

I agree, i also don't mind reading these types of discussions and if i can, will try to be of some help to them as well..but,to be honest, i have come across some discussions here,where i'm a little shocked and surprised at what others are comfortable with divulging about their personal lives here, even though these are done anonymously. I also will not respond to any discussion that becomes a war between the OP and some of his/her respondents and for the same reasons you mention and also for the reasons you provided to one of my other respondents, people asking for favors or money, since these are Mylot violations to begin with.

"This post wasn't meant to offend you or anything so PEACE" Believe me i'm not offended in the least since there is nothing in your comment that would cause me to be. i do understand perfectly why others are comfortable posting about their personal life,especially if they receive positive and supportive comments and i myself will respond to some of these posts, hoping i may be able to help in some way. I was just wondering if others had ever read a discussion where they were surprised at how much the OP(opinion poster) was willing to post about themselves or their families and if they felt they would be able to be as open minded or candid. I myself do not post personal discussions, since i happen to be a private person,in real life and don't feel comfortable posting about myself or my family life online , but,i certainly have no problem with,nor am i being critical with anyone who feels comfortable doing this.