Would You Share With Your Partner Your Monthly Payslip?

I think that is pretty unusual, and I agree, it is unfair that he has to just hope that she is making the right decisions. He should not have an allowance with his own money. I think the best way to settle this is to hire a marriage counselor or a financial counselor who could help them mediate their different ideas. I don't think that she is going to listen, especially if she has so much power in the relationship. It's not as though I think a man should have all of the power in a relationship, but it sounds like he needs a bit more authority on his part. It is not okay for the power to be so unequal. If he loves this woman, he is going to have to make things right and reclaim his part in the relationship.

Hi candy! How could your brother let her manage the finance since she is not good doing as you said just now that she has debts. That is mean she should not handle the cash because for sure she is not good at it and she don't even want to be honest about her payslip. I am fine with the concept of giving an allowance but it is only okay if the wives know how to spend and manage the money. I am fine if I need to share mine with my partner.

She sounds to me like a "gold digger" but then maybe he likes it that way. Never grew up and wants some one to control him.

HAHAHA that's one of the major reason why am not getting married. she's getting really greedy here. something tht i can never allow in the relationship. lucky for me, am still single and doesn't have to go through that thing.

My husband works part-time and the only work I am doing so far is here online. My husband and I share everything. My husband and I do not keep secrets from each other. I know how much my husband makes and we both discuss how to spend the money. The first things that get paid are bills and food. Then if we have any left over we decide what we want to do with it. Sometimes we splurge and go out while other times we put money into savings. I think it is sad that your brother-in-law's wife keeps all the money and gives him a daily allowance. She should have been fair and honest. I hope that your brother-in-law reads these resposnes and seeks the advice given.

This is really strange deal. I seriously don't understand why your brother-in-law accepted this deal at first place, I already saw the opposite happens, but a men that receive a daily allowance is just weird. I think this deal of your brother-in-law is not fair to him at all. First, his wife should tell him about how much she win, what's the debts that she has and where the money that they both earn are spend. Second, in most of the married couples that I know, both of them decides what to do with the money.

I really think that this situation is between them and no-one else's business. Your hubby should put her off when she rings him and he should tell her to sort it out with her husband. The worst thing to do at this point is to involve other people. There are no rules but I think a couple need to be up front and honest with each other.

we have joint a/c so we know how much is in from each our paycheck if she knows his pay then he should know her pay on whose a/c is this money controlled? if it's a joint a/c your bro in law needs to take her name off of the a/c until she can play it fair and with the validation, if I were him, I wouldn't give it until all her cards are on the table

Well, if you are married or living together than all money from both salaries should be going into one bank account, a joint account, and you both should have access to it. It should be a partnership and everything should be known to both parties. He should know how much she is making as well as her knowing how much he is making. Then they should sit down together and make out a budget. That way they both know what debts have to be paid and how much is left. Then they should budget how much each is allowed to take out of the account for personal things. It should be done together as both people are earning and putting it all into their household and their future. But this problem is very common and a lot of couples just won't do it. My last relationship lasted 13 years and I never knew what he was making and he didn't treat me like an equal in the money department. I ended up paying everything out of my money and he kept all of his and never let me know how much he had. As it turned out he had a gambling problem and we ended up bankrupt and I left him. I now am providing for myself and I like it that way. Cheers and happy mylotting , Chris

Ina perfect household they would pool all the income and all the bills. Pay the bills and provide everything for the house and members then split the extra money equal.

It is the obligation of a married man to show his pay slip to his wife. Because this is a good practice... It is not required for husband...but it will be better to show to gain respect from his partner...

That's not good at all. If you can't trust her, and you can't when she's hiding stuff, that's a horrible marriage, and it won't last. That has got to change.

There is no reason under the sun that I wouldn't share how much money I am making with my husband and he always shares with me how much money he is making. We are in a committed relationship and a very important part of our relationship has to do with our finances. I have never thought that a relationship where each person maintains a separate checking account would be one that would work out. We joke around and say that my hubby makes the money while I spend the money, but that is only because I am the one that makes sure all of our bills are paid every month.

No, I don't think it's fair, but it sounds like your brother-in-law puts up with it or he doesn't care about it. Personally, I would never be involved with someone who wanted to hide things from me. I'm very big on honesty and openness in a marriage because without it, you can't have trust and without trust, it's not much of a relationship. I'm surprised two people can be together with this level of deceit. It's hard for me to think that she could love him and still want to keep things from him and not be honest. I couldn't put up with it, but hey, that's just me. Maybe your brother-in-law isn't bothered by it, so if he wants to put up with it, that's on him.

My partner knows exactly how much I earn, and I know exactly how much he earns, too. I like it that way because it means that we always know exactly what we can and cannot afford, as everything is transparent and easy to see. It's good to be like, and be honest with each other, however nobody should have the control of their partner's salaries. Each person should be able to choose exactly what they want to spend their money on, because at the end of the day it's their own money that they worked very hard for, and it should be treated as such.

Honesty and trust are the most important things in a marriage. It really makes me laugh when married couples have "his" and "her" money. Once you are joined in marriage, everyting else is joined also. The money should all be put in a joint account and they should go from there. I don't understand how people can be married and still be separate. That is not what love and marriage are about. Your friend needs to be careful...she may be hoarding money that he is not aware of for a purpose he won't like.

That's a strange situation! Yes, they definately need seeing a marriage and or finacial councelor. The wife needs to realize the oath she took while marrying this guy!

While many of us consider marriage as a foundation of love and don't think finances should be a factor, the bottom line is that civil marriages are legal contracts. While assets that are brought into the marriage are seperate, assets earned during the marriage, including salaries and other earnings, are legally equal property of both regardless of whom earns it. At least that is the way it is in most capitalistic countries. Your family member erred when he allowed this from the beginning. Many men simply are not comfortable with finances because coming straight out of their home (where the parents usually take care of all finances) into their marriage they have little experience with paying bills and defer to their wives. Good wives of course will take this responsibility serious and fairly, not so good wives will abuse this situation. I have seen it many times over the years. No, its not fair.

hello, actually it isn't fair and your brother in law should find a way to reverse things before its too late.Honesty is an important virtue in marriage and since his wife is not adhering to it even after he has shown her how much he earns...he needs to walkout of that marriage because their is a clear sign that his wife is not committed to it.

It is not really fair for your brother-in-law but if your brother-in-law allows his wife to control his money while not asking for his wife's earning so I think there is no problem about that.