It's Good and It's Bad...

I have two older boys ages 5 and 3. When they go to visit their dad and it is time fir them to come back home to me theybthrow a fit. They start crying for their dad. They only get to see their dad on Saturday nmorning til Sunday night. When he drops them off they make me feel like they would rather be with him and not me. I know they only do this because they live with me and they miss their dad, but it makes me wonder if I am doing something wrong.

My youngest daughter use to do us that way all the time when her grandma lived in different house from us. It was a pain to get her to come home. Her and Grandma would cook together and all sorts of stuff. Sometimes it was nice to get a break , but after a while I sure missed her. And my grand kids were like that with me until they moved in here with us too ..lol now we are all tired of living together. Their mom and dad have found a new house now , so before long Cooper will be screaming to come to Meemom's again .

Oh sure, my kids used to do that when they were little. Grandma's house was about fun... different toys than they had at home, treats, going to a different park, walking to the dollar store near her house, and just generally playing in an environment that was a change for them. Fortunately, my mom was very on-board with how I was raising my kids so the same rules applied at her house. Manners were required, no being destructive, hygiene was expected, all of that But, generally, a break from home and parents is a fun time and kids don't want that to end. I would get big hugs and squeals when I arrived to pick them up but they would want me to stay over there too I felt bad dragging them away but, once they got home, everything would be fine.

I guess the same thing happens in any parts of the world regardless of culture or customs we have been brought up. Grandparents pamper their grandchildren so much to the extent that they will give them anything they would ask for.We can not blame them though maybe they have reasons,like missing us or have not done such to us when we we're still under their care so to get even they do it on our children.But I guess most of the time they overdo it.

My kids are the same way.When they get to go to grandma's house they never want to return.I'm like you I love the fact they have so much fun but at the same time I miss them and want them home with me.I guess its just something that we both will half to deal with for now. :)

You got jealous then?I think you must not feel that. I'm sure those kids want's to stay there because it's a new place and it amaze them,bein in a new place feels great. I don't have a children yet so I don't know how exactly it feels like. :)

This is nearly universally true. Unfortunately I think it shouldn't be that way. Not that kids should not want to go to their grandparents. Sure that's good. But the reason behind it, is grandparents never discipline, never instill character. Never teach anything. Never help to mature the children. My grandmother was never like that. She had me helping around the house. Taking trash out. Cleaning something. Mowing the lawn. I was always doing something. So I still loved my Grandmother very much. And I always wanted to go see her every summer. At the same time, I was always ready to come home. It seems to me... and maybe I am wrong, but most grandparents I meet today, never want to control their grand children. They treat them like emperors and empresses. Like whatever they want they can have. Its now 24-hour playtime. I've seen this with my own parents, and my sisters children. When those kids come over, they are completely out of control. I wanna do this "oh sure honey!" I wanna do that "No problem!" I'm bored! This isn't fun! "Ok we'll entertain you!" And off they go. Never made to clean anything up. Never made to help out. Never made to do anything. Don't even have to go to bed. Somehow that doesn't sit right with me. Grand parents use to be keepers of wisdom, that taught the younger people how to live, and be good adults. Now they are like an under paid 3-ring circus entertainment crew, where the kids can come and act more like immature fools than normal. And I wager this is why they don't want to come home.

I think that the fact that the grandma and grandpa's role are to spoil their grand children is the main reason kids sometimes don't want to come home. I think it's fine that your kids love going to their grandma's house. Let them be. When they grow up, they will realize for themselves that it is still with you that they belong first!

Grandparents have a way of indulging our children like we don't. Isn't it funny how they indulge your children but probably did not indulge you the same way? Grandchildren can do no wrong in their grandparent's eyes and so the environment is a lot different than at home and as a result, the children are drawn to that difference. I sort of felt good when my mom spoiled my daughter since it was only occasionally and it made my daughter want to visit her grandma. That made mom, the wifey, and everyone else happy. lol. Its not really about us is it? Its about the love our children are receiving.

Hi! I think it's not that they don't want to go home. I think it's because they are not always with their grandma/pa as much as they are with you or stay at your house. So they miss their grandma/pa and since they enjoy there they want to stay longer. Well I'm the opposite of your children. When I was young I would sleep at my grandpa's house but I only stay there very few times and just one night at a time... LOL.. I'm not that loving. Well, it's great that your children have developed love for their grandparents and for sure they are teaching them a lot of good lessons in life.

I know how you feel. When my kids were younger they never wanted to come home from grandmas and grandpas house. They had them so spoiled . My oldest daughter moved in with them when she turned of age. Now that was a kick in the teeth.

Hello there, This reminded me of my childhood days. We had friends come over to play during weekends but when it was time to go home, they wouldn't feel like it. And actually I didn't want them to go too. There was always the crying and screaming when it was time to go home. The moms would come and forcefully take their kids home. Aww miss the good old days.

My daughter has gone to visit my Mom for half the summer the past couple years. She never wants to come home. It hurt my feelings when she said she wanted to live with my Mom and I explained to her it wouldnt be like visiting her. She would have to go to school, my Mom works as an RN and has 12 hour shifts every other day. She wouldnt get to do all the fun stuff and would be in daycare. She wouldnt get o see me or her dad or brother and would miss out on a lot. So even though it hurt my feelings she wanted to live with my Mom I knew at her age she didnt understand it wouldnt be fun and games all the time. It would be almost like living at home. Responsibilities have to taken care of, she wouldnt get spoiled all the time, etc. SO dont take it to heart, just know its more fun at Grandmas and Grandpas because its suppose to be. Growing up I loved being at my granparents to or my cousins. It was different and fun and I was allowed to get away with more than I was at home. Just let them know you love them and you would really miss them if they were living somewhere else.

Well, I think it's a good idea to communicate with your children about this issue. Sometimes it's just fun playing there. And they like their grandparents. This is a good thing. Another important thing that needs to realize is that what is their attitude when they come back home? Are they still excited or they are sleeping or depressed.. That's a good way to determine how they feel and you can express your own ideas to the children how you feel about this stuff. Thanks.

Yes, you should be glad when your children go to their granny's house and love it there. At least , you could be rested from taking care of them for a few days. My daughter loves to go to my parents' house also. But she would come back after a day or two She misses some of her favorite show on TV, which she cannot watch by herself there, because they only have a big TV in the living room , where everybody gathers to watch their unified liked shows. But she said she enjoys having to watch TV with my parents and other grandchildren because they get to laugh together and enjoy them.

I don't have kids myself but I've seen this same kind of thing happen with my cousins, who always want to stay at our house when they come over rather than go home. I don't think you should take it personally - your kids love you more than anything but I think they just enjoy the added special attention that I'm sure they get at their grandma's house. it's just something new and exciting to them but it doesn't mean that they love you any less - I bet if they had to stay at their grandma's house for a long time they would be asking about you and would be desperate to see their mom!!