from a MAN's perspective you (women) are just complicated
By chuyins123
@chuyins123 (2112)
Philippines
July 7, 2011 12:00am CST
I did a lot of browsing nowadays, that i also came across this site:
http://www.ehow.com/how_5310572_make-marriage-work-mans-perspective.html
and was actually struck by these statements on How To Make Marriage Work:
Men simply see things differently than women. All you women out there, this is the fundamental thing you must understand. It is important for both to communicate all the things you a re thinking. NEVER assume that your spouse knows or should know how or what you are thinking or feeling. As a man, I may know how Tiger Woods feels after missing that shot because I've been there but, I have never seen life through a woman's eyes so I am totally unaware of how my wife may feel some of the times.
So for men - Be more aware of how your wife is acting or feeling and ask to understand why this is.
For Woman - Understand that we are by Nature animals designed to Hunt and reproduce. It is ingrained in our DNA. We are not designed to lead with emotion nor do we pick up on it easily.
So for both - take time each day to have a real conversation with each other.
What are your views on these? For married ones, is this really true? I am not yet married, but I could somehow relate to this man's perspective towards women. LOL. For those in a relationship, what can you say about this?
1 person likes this
14 responses
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Yeah, this is the aspect of women I just don't understand. They assume that you know they're angry and then assume you also know why. That's there are times when there are stupid arguments that occur. All we were saying were
Me: "I don't know what exactly I did"
GF: "I know you know"
Me: "I don't, but why don't you tell me so I would understand"
GF: "..." (silent mode)
For crying out loud, I'm not a mind reader. Not yet, but I'm pretty sure I'll be one because, I swear, there was a time when my head was throbbing. I think that's the 90% of my brain beginning to work.
1 person likes this
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Yep. And my girl is always right, most of the time at least.
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@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
I could so relate.
And hey not only that, sometimes they seem to play around. They'd say NO in a tone that they are meaning to say YES. But because men, are just so NO-hint at all, they'll take the word as is, no reading between the lines. Thinking there was no in BETWEEN. LOL.
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
You got me laughing on this. LOL. "I'd rather go between their legs"... Naughty naughty naughty!!!
Anywa, yeah, they seem to know how to get to us. But we just can't figure them out. LOL. They're just so complicated and talented.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
7 Jul 11
Hi!
Well, let me tell you this. You MEN ARE SO COMPLICATED FROM A WOMEN'S PERSPECTIVE.. Fair now?
Honestly, it's not unusual for two people of different genders to not understand each other. First of all, different cultures, different ways of growing up. Even siblings who were raised by the same parents don't always get together well. How much more two completely different people.
But I think it's world's way of balancing things. Men complement women and women complement men. If the world is all men or all women, think about it. That would not be nice. So we have variations. I think it's like mixing different colors. They might all be different, but in the end, it's what made the painting beautiful and that painting is life.
Wow.. I'm thinking deep here..
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
7 Jul 11
FAIR!
Stay calm my friend.
I believe you are right with what you've said, "If the world is all men or all women, think about it. That would not be nice. " And it's how GOD arranged it. It adds excitement to know and appreciate the differences.
Thanks for posting your view. Gives me idea somehow, on how you (women) think. Appreciate it.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
7 Jul 11
Oh.. I'm always calm.. haha.. I'm calm.
Anyways, yup! That's how the world is made, man and woman... in every living thing (as far as I know. correct me if I'm wrong). Now not all women think like me just as not all men think like you. We have different minds and different thinkings, but that's what makes the world wonderful.
@artistic_temper (83)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
They are complicated. I have 2 sisters and based on the past relationships i had, women aren't really easy to understand. Thats maybe why women are special because theyre complex and hard to fathom.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
It's the difference that makes the relationship exciting adventure!
@emilyn1997 (171)
• United States
7 Jul 11
My husband and sons say the same thing. They say when you think you got them figured out they change. I just tell them do not even try. LoL
I know myself that if I am sad I want my husband to respond, try and talk to me, and find out what is going on. I want him to come to me.
Now if I am in a bad mood it aggravate's me if he starts asking me what is wrong but it bothers me more if he just ignores it.
I guess women are complicated. I even confuse myself sometimes. LoL
Have a Blessed Day
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@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Wow, you're too honest emilyn to admit those complexities. But those things are real. One minister here even shared one time and he said
"I got home late, and caught my wife doing the household chores." Minister shared.
"I came to her and kissed her, she's not in the mood, she said she's so busy with the chores, and I said, yeah me too, was too tired in the office." he furthered
"And I could see in her looks she wants me to help, she's terribly busy though, I know." he narated.
"I offered to help, I started moving to help, but she's angry!"
"Why are you doing this? I thought you're tired?" she said.
"I thought you needed some help." minister said.
"If you don't want to do it. just leave it." she said.
And that makes him so confused. What is it the she really wants??? LOL. Women are just complicated really.
As a woman, can you figure out what she wants? LOL.
@whitewingspeak (888)
• Philippines
7 Jul 11
Hi chuyins123!
I don't wanna comment on your thread because i don't wanna think seriously deep haha.
But I wanna ask you, why did you choose this to be your topic of discussion? You know the topic itself and how it was written is complicated itself hahaha.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Hi whitewingspeak,
First, I find it interesting and for some point intriguing. About what women would say. Second, as I've said, I was struck with the statements, I could somehow relate, even if I am not yet married. And lastly, I enjoy reading topics such as this.
@waflay (2737)
• Nairobi, Kenya
12 Jul 11
We are not the same and never will it be in the way we see things or issues that pertain our relationship. Sometimes it annoys me to find something so little being her base for a full-day argument, a little thing that one can do and forget about in seconds drawing emotional factor that I find hard to deal with.
As a man, I think I use brain or mind point of view in simple matters but as for my lady, emotions always takes a center-stage in everything she does.
To be frank, I don't fully understand my lady- I only understand her anger and things can can irate her. But the problem comes when she picks up her anger from the ground I consider simple, making the matter complicated- in her point of view. In such a situation, my quietness is the only hiding place.
Anyway, we should always listen to our ladies. I believe there is something we lack but they have, them too should understand our nature and help us build a happy relationship.
...a good listener gains understanding..
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
7 Jul 11
Good points! I think that men and women may never fully understand each other. All any of us can do is try and communicate. And then, just hope for the best.
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
7 Jul 11
Absolutely, completely, undeniably 100% TRUE!
One of the first things I said to my lady when we got together was that she had to be blunt with me. Don't beat about the bush. None of that hinting at things nonsense. Just TELL me. I won't get it otherwise.
Just about every misunderstanding we've had comes from either our language difference (she's French, I'm English) or the simple fact that she's being vague and not getting to the point.
That's not to say I don't understand her. I understand her better than she understands me, in many ways. I'm just impervious to hints. You can't imagine the number of times I have to say "Tell me what you want, exactly"!
For her part, she constantly asks me if I want to talk about things. I don't. There's no point. I'll say 12 words and she'll go off babbling for 30 minutes about supposedly-related things that don't make any difference to the situation.
Simple conclusion (terrible generalisation, but hey...): men want to know what the problem is so they can fix it; women want to talk about the problem so they know you understand how they feel about it.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
They always have this notion that we SHOULD read between THEIR lines but the thing is we don't know there is in BETWEEN. LOL.
Really, your story is really true. And it happens with couples who speaks the same dialect or language.
I think women are just really fond of talking. I mean speak one word and they could reply a thousand. LOL. But then again, such difference between us (men) from women makes it exciting to be in a relationship.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
11 Jul 11
I honestly don't think that there would be any relationship that would work if the minds of both men and women operated in the same way. I know that my husband's thinking is typically very simple, but I am able to understand him. I know that when I am talking I tend to be cryptic and it really isn't anything that I mean to do, it is just the way that I've always been. Over the nine and a half years that we've been together, I think we've come to work more and more better together.
1 person likes this
@maxen07 (882)
• Philippines
7 Jul 11
I've read a lot about how the male mind works and I guess its true about what you've just shared. We women are far more complicated and that's Eve's fault, LOL. I've had failed relationships because I tend to be a very jealous girlfriend. I don't like it when my boyfriend responds to other girl's flirting. They'd tell me that they're just having fun or just joking around, I'm like "Hey, I'm here. FOCUS.ON.ME". I'd talk to them and tell them about how I feel and they'd tell me that they won't do it anymore. The next time, I'd realize that they lied so goodbye to them. I'm currently single focusing on more important things like being a mom to a special child and internet money-making schemes while I can't temporarily apply for work.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Communication, openness and transparency would be of great help to sustain the relationship. Still, it's really complicated MEN and Women are just two complex beings.
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
14 Jul 11
ha-ha-ha! oh my, i completely agree with you! im a woman and i know pretty well we are way too complicated.
cmon! im still learning to cope with the less complication of men but i still cant figure out for myself why in the world are you like that! i mean, men stuff, being less emotional, and to quote you "guys are by nature, animals..."
whatever it is, im willing to explore and at least give my man a chance to be a man. he says he knows how stubborn or emotional i can get. and i know his way of coping is to just let me be and not speak with me until he thinks im "normal".
by the way, there's this article i read once. it says guys dont like it when women are acting cool with how men are. i mean it basically states men like it that women are emotional (at some point) and that you guys somehow love reading our lengthy emails too but you just dont show much interest as much as we do but deep inside you love it. is there any truth to it?
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
7 Jul 11
I think, there would be not much complications if there is an open communication between the man and the woman in relationship. But it has to be a two way communication - both should be able to say what they want, feel and expect from each other.
That way, complications will be avoided.
1 person likes this
@fitriadi21 (386)
• Indonesia
8 Jul 11
It seems you are to sensitive and underestimate to them (woman). I think they just like us, only that just distinguish gender. They want to be considered execcive, have a desire, a hope and a little selfish. Just like us, the gentelmen.
1 person likes this
@eldeenz (25)
• Philippines
7 Jul 11
Lots of women are romantic by nature. They always need attention especially from their partners. Now, if the partner didnt pay attention to their needs , a simple sweetness in a day for example, they sometimes tend to freak out and feel less important. Their pride wouldn't let them say what they really want, sad but true, they will say some things they weren't supposed to say thus starting a fight. Just an advice to you guys: Always show your woman how important she is in your life, sweet gentle kiss every morning, a flower once in a month ,do the things you did while you are still courting her that made her fall in love with you and most of all show her how you really care.
1 person likes this