Is it Fair that she's Unfair?
By Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
Philippines
July 7, 2011 8:48pm CST
I know this old lady who has 10 children. She's got riches she acquired from her parents and her husband's riches. Now, her 10 children are having trouble dealing with each other.
The mother favors some of her children, but almost neglected the others. All her favorite children have good lives, while her not so favorite have hard lives. Now she's old and she needs to make things clear on where her things would go to. Everyone urges her to be fair, so that her children would not fight over the matter.
Now she's got a son who's life has been so ruined because of his pities of how the mother treats him. He said that when the parting of riches becomes unfair, he will burn down everyone who has too much. (Honestly, he can do that..) The mother says that it is her money so she decides who will have what. There is her favorite son who is so old enough and has 4 children. He's got his own house but he left his house and his children there all by themselves (as his wife is abroad) to live in the old woman's house and manage her finances (and use them for his own benefit). Everyone is mad at him but he does not care as long as their mother gives him what he wants.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think the mother's reasoning is right? How would you solve issues like this if you're involve?
3 people like this
11 responses
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
hello BB,
I hate favoritism I mean she should be fair enough to each and everyone even she is billionaire she can't buy her children happiness and love
In this life she is rich she can buy all her needs but what about when she is gone she can't bring it all she will just leave hatred,greediness, and broken family because of her money.
Money is worth it if you can share it to everyone if your family doesn't have issues regarding this. I hope she will realize what will happen when she is gone.
happy mylotting
good morning ... :)@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Hi!
Dear, you're right. She should use her money to make her family happy and not split it.. that is if she really values her family.
@xRawrx (41)
• United States
8 Jul 11
Its her money she can do what she wants with it. The son that would be upset about unfairness sounds ungrateful. What their mother wishes should be respected. life is tough, and in any situation, you dont reward everyone evenly. in any case, we dont know how much trouble, hassle, or problems her children caused or what their relationship with their mother was like. It sounds mean to give less or no money as an inheritance but honestly, think about it, one of your childrwn have visited, called, and kept up with you and took you places, and the others did not. Would you give that son or daughter more? I would.
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Hi!
I see your point. But every child of hers visits her regularly. In fact, those she did not favor that much are the ones who are always there and visit her even if there is nothing to celebrate (unlike her favorites).
The basis of her favoritism anyway is their color. She likes her children who have fair skin, while favors less those with dark.
Racial discrimination within the family, eh?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (167071)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Jul 11
When it comes to family affairs it is very hard to solve such issues. This man who leaves his own family to govern his mother's affairs is both selfish and conniving. I believe in Karma and feel that this man is one that will grow old alone and is missing out on his children's growth. His mother is not much of one to let this happen. I don't feel that I could solve these issues.
@celticeagle (167071)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Jul 11
And sadly it is his loss. He may never know what he has missed.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
9 Jul 11
Hi!
You're right! He doesn't even know what's been happening to his children and we're not surprised if one time he comes home and realize everybody's away from him.
1 person likes this
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
I see that you're from the Philippines. And if that old lady is, too, then she is correct but only up to 50% of her properties. By law, the 50% (called legitime) is distributed according to the computations of the law, and only the remaining 50% can be disposed of by the lady according to what she wants.
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Oh wow.. so that's what the law says.. I should tell them. 
Thanks
Thanks1 person likes this
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Better yet, if they have the means, tell them to consult a lawyer...we can never be too sure.
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
8 Jul 11
Sadly she favored some and not equally loved and cared for them all. Not sure why she opted to do this and pretty unfair to the children to have undergone. I personally think she will not miss her money and riches once she is gone, so the only fair thing would be to share it equally.
I mean that is what I would do, as a mother we are to love all our children equally. Maybe she has her reasons, but not sure why not share it equally after she is gone what harm could she see in not having done so.
Any bits she gives all her children would be helpful to them all, and sad that they have to argue over money. 
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Hi!
Yes that's what everybody is trying to tell her. If she wants peace between her children, be fair to everyone. In fact, one of her children (who used to be one of her favorites but did something she did not like) almost wants to die because of how her life turned out to be. The mother would not help her but blame her of not listening to what she (mother) said.
That's just so unfair... As a mother, how could you take to see your children are arguing because of you and your daughter is having very hard life because of loss of support...? Right? So sad some parents could be like this.
1 person likes this
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
19 Jul 11
looks like cinema story. myself and my wife we have told our two children that whatever is left after us -- share it equally -- if it is assets ok and if it is liabilities also same. this is the best approach.
If we support one that son may take and then ditch. that old lady will realise afterwards. it is advisable to divided whatever is available equally and give to them.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
Hi!
You're absolutely right. If she wants peace to remain in her children after she's gone, she'll give them everything she has equally.
Thank you and happy parenting!
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
8 Jul 11
No she is not being fair at all. I don't agree with what she's doing or what her son is doing. He's doing anything and everything to get all he can from his mother but if he were to stop doing what she wants then she'd stop giving him all he wants. The same goes for her, if she stopped giving him money, he'd stop doing all he does for her. Both are in the wrong but the mother is the one with the money and being the mother, she should know better. While I do agree, it is her money to do as she wishes but she should be fair with ALL of her children and not favor any of them. Favortisim is wrong wrong wrong! I've stood up against it twice before and I'll do it again. Shame on her! Shame on him!
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
9 Jul 11
Hi!
I absolutely agree with you! For everyone's peace, be fair? right?
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
hello Banny,
This is very sad,and might be result in worst scenario.
Reading your post really made me wonder how such a mother can be so unfair.
The mother is not only being unfair materially,but also giving her kids gap and emotional problem.
And this will become worse once she will not divide the money equally...this will turn his kids life like hell,with the other son's threatening to burn whoever get's the biggest part (whoooo).
Let's hope the mother will listen to her heart and look at her kids equally.
have a good day my friend
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Hi!
Yeah, I can't believe her too. All those are from her, her flesh and blood so why does she need to favor anyone more than others? If she knows her son (the threatening one) enough, she'll know she should do partings well. 
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
9 Jul 11
Hi ebuscat!
Are you a Jehovah's Witness? I believe in what you said.
@miadsoriano (884)
• Philippines
9 Jul 11
Money and family do not really blend and mix well together. People and family members really end up getting hurt one way or another when money is involved.
But as a parent, I am disgusted by what that mother did to her children...both those she favored and those she didn't. She ruined all their lives in the process. One side feels neglected and unloved, the other side grew up privileged and perhaps does not know a thing about how to live life and how to survive this dog-eat-dog world without her help.
This kind of scenario will never be "solved" without taking any legal action. Just get ready for more drama and even more heartache. But if you really don't want anything to do with all that, then just walk away. Let the sharks have it.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
9 Jul 11
Hi!
I agree w/ you. Rich families with favoritism often end tragically and it's understandable why. Thanks and have a nice day!
@bouncybug (614)
• South Africa
8 Jul 11
I don't think that it can ever be said to be fair for a parent to discriminate and favour some children over others. Surely it is a mother's role to love and care for each of her children equally and fairly! This is a terrible situation which has now lead to such anger and tension in amongst the family, which is such a pity - families should be there to love and care for one another, not cause anger and hatred such as in this family. I hope that they manage to sort this issue out between them in a civil way, because fighting within families is the worst.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
9 Jul 11
Hi!
You're right. If there is favoritism, especially within the family, those discriminated feel hurt and may start putting bad things in their hearts, which is absolutely not good.
