Haunted by my Past

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It's really depressing me, I'm constantly being haunted by a past online affair I had years ago, but never truly got over the person. Long story short, he said all the right words to me, had me doing things for him online, and I fell for him hard. He knew I was married, but pursued me relentlessly with sweet words, which sucked me into a 2-year online affair that ended in total distrust and heartbreak. He then wanted to be friends, but continued with mind games and verbal abuse, and after a couple of years of "ignore" games I blocked him completely. I know I said that I was finally free type thing, but my mental state is still vulnerable. I know in reality I'll never even let him be friends with me, the past is too painful. Every day I think about him, not sexually, those feelings are gone, but other stuff, like memories, and his name, that sort of thing. I've tried every mental gymnastic trick I can think of, prayed to G-d, sought support from friends and Hubby, but nothing worked. I feel like I'm stuck in a mental cage of guilt and regret and mental torture. I've repented, came clean with Hubby, prayed, what else can I do? There's no picture, video, connection, nothing, everything has been blocked and deleted. Even on this laptop, it's a newer laptop, and I never communicated with him using this one here. Physical memories have been wiped clean. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard spot. Perhaps G-d is punishing me anyway, for getting involved with the idiot. Perhaps Nature has its own way of healing. I dunno. I've even read an article about other women going through the same thing, calling the thought process an addiction. I've focused my energy on my family, my online earning, cut off chat rooms, even an old messenger service. I'm much more careful nowadays in dealing with men online, as in my mind, they're mainly all the same anyway. Ya, I know, I"m cynical. But I seriously need to protect myself. Maybe it's because I've never loved Hubby and vice versa, since the situation of our marriage is unusual for the Western society. We have starting working out issues, especially since I've confessed to Hubby, I suppose he's realised the potential of what could've happened, to some degree. Please don't judge me, guys, I need to hear from others who's been in a similar situation. I can't live my life like this anymore. I need a life, a REAL life, I'm stuck. *sigh* Why does life have to be a b!tch at times?