fadeup of being an introvert
By pb0289
@pb0289 (66)
India
July 8, 2011 1:58am CST
hi friends...i am really an introvert person. this is what i feel but still i want to interact with people but dn't know what kind of fear stops me to interact.i am a simple person.i can't tackle with the smart people. i fear that somebody will fool me easily. i find it very difficult to gain attraction of people.i am not very lively and agile towards my own self please suggest what should i do and make it an interactive discussion :)
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
8 Jul 11
First of all, don't be ashamed to be an introvert! The world needs extroverts and introverts. If everyone was overly friendly, this would be a pretty bland place. There would be no mysteries, no secrets. Introverts can be fascinating because they do not spill their entire life story and social security number out to you in the first meeting.
If you really want to overcome your introvert tendencies than the first thing you need to discover the root of your fear. Feeling you are a simple, easily taken advantaged of person is just a symptom. At the bottom of these fears is a root. Only you can determine this root with some careful soul searching. To me it sounds like you are afraid of the risk that comes with being social. These feelings of self inferiority sound like excuses. Or maybe you just lack confidence. Only you can know truly.
Once you have found the root, you must determine what caused the root. Was it an experience of the past? Or has the root always been apart of your personality? Once you know the cause of the root, you can correct that cause.
As for being more social, I suggest starting out with only one person with whom you are already somewhat familiar. Meet with this person in a familiar place where you feel comfortable. If you start out with a group of strangers, you will feel intimated and you will regress - any progress you made will be lost.
One more tip: you may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can't focus on that! You have redeeming qualities - I know because every person out there does. Focus on those qualities and be proud of them. This will give you confidence in yourself that other people will sense.
This entire process will take time, but is not impossible!
P.S. I think you are more intelligent then you believe yourself to be. You understand yourself and can express that understanding - plus you can ask for advice. That's smart. :)
@pb0289 (66)
• India
8 Jul 11
actually my parents say that when i was a child i was fav of all...then slowly when i started to grow up my father used to shout at me on very small mistakes from then i feared of confronting people...this fear has become more now...when he is not around i am in a much better place and feel confident...some of my good friends say that you are much capable and even i know that but still people with not that worth does overpower me...see i'll tell you the exact situation...when i start talking to people with whom i am not much familiar i am not able to figure out what should i talk and people ask me why do you you talk so less...they feel i am egoistic...please do reply :)
thanks for guiding me :)
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
8 Jul 11
Glad to be of service!
I actually use to have this problem myself. As a child I had experienced some betrayals and I decided I just didn't want to trust people I didn't know. Thus when I found myself in a situation with strangers, my tongue was tied. I was also scared that I might offend them in some way and cause an awkward situation.
Then I discovered the method I use today: open the conversation by complimenting them. It can be hard I know, but find something about them you can positively compliment. For example, it it's the cashier at the grocery store, you can compliment her on how quickly she is at begging your groceries. If it is the lady behind you in line, compliment her hair. This gets the conversation started off on a high note, and the stranger will already be thinking positively about you! Let the stranger take the lead. Maybe ask the lady how she did her hair. She will then tell you, and you can comment or ask a question about a certain part of the process. You will find the conversation is flowing naturally at this point.
Another trick is to observe the stranger before you start talking to them. Gathering details about them can give you leads as to what would be a good subject for conversation would be. For example, let us say you are are at a college. You see a twenty-something standing there with an arm load of books. You can safely assume that they are a student there. Now you can ask them about what courses they take. You can ask them about the details of these courses or if they like the classes they are taking. Once you get comfortable with them, you could even ask them some general questions about campus life. The possibilities are endless!
There is of course the old standbys of weather and community happenings if the person you are talking to is a local.
I recommend avoiding politics or front line social issues. These can be interesting, but these are also hot button issues. You could get into a bitter argument which I am sure is not what you want to do with an unfamiliar person.
The key is to observe, be positive and to let the stranger lead. Don't jump from one subject to another, as this will cause you to run out of topics and that would just be awkward. Instead linger on the current topic you started and ask questions about the details. This will prolong the conversation and give you ideas on where to go next in your talk. Pretty soon you will develop a feel for the other person and you instinct will tell what to say. :)
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Try to distinguish your fear and conquer it. Have confidence in yourself and socialize more.
When you already have friends, get to know them better, know their likes and dislikes. When you see that they have common likes and dislikes with you, then you can choose them to be your constant friends, and cultivate your friendship with them.
Go out of your shell, try to gain more friends.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
It's easy. Just be friendly, always have a ready smile for everybody and be kind . In no time, people who would like to be your friends, will approach you.
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
9 Jul 11
First you have to be with people always. hang out with them for a while, just listen and observe. Then slowly, try to mix in, say your opinion and share your thoughts. If they response, make sure you do not get offended if its not according to your wishes. Make your self available, make people see that you are nice to be with. Slowly but surely you will have the guts and wits to keep the conversation and you;ll find yourself freely going out from your shell.
@akhileshebay (416)
• India
8 Jul 11
i am not at all an introvert
but i know how bad it is to be an introvert, you are getting scared in public if you are an introvert
it can even ruin your carrier
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
8 Jul 11
Im not good in interacting with people too. But let me share you something. First, stop fearing inside. Be confident in yourself. Stop thinking anything bad to anybody as you had said that you think that someone will fool you. Just always smile or don't frown too much. Relax your facial features. In that way, you'll look cool, friendly and unguarded. :) i hope this one could help you..
