How far can you handle the truth in a relationship

Philippines
July 8, 2011 6:38am CST
Whats up with men and their secrets anyway? that they have to wait for you to fall inlove and then they spill the beans,that they have another child tucked somewhere. that they wait for you to be over the moon and they stab you in the back with some secrets that he didnt care to tell you in the beginning of the relationship. i recently learned about some ugly truths about my boyfriend, and he told me that he doesnt want to lose me thats why he didnt tell me. i felt like if im that easy to lose over some undisclosed information then im not worth keeping.
5 responses
@Rick1950 (1575)
• Lima, Peru
9 Jul 11
I think the basis for building a good relationship is the truth and trust as well. Otherwise it would suffer the slightest mishap. What is hidden always comes to light, so the lie is less appropiatre in a relationship. It says there are little lies that do not harm, but if you get used to them quicly we can fall in large ones.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
9 Jul 11
I guess, not only men do that. Some women also have some share of secrets they keep until they are assured that the man is already too in love so it will be easy to accept the truth. Sad, but this is true to some.
@sanjay91422 (2725)
• India
8 Jul 11
It is not about boys or girls. If it is about secrets then I think every person have some secrets which they don't tell anyone, but when somebody is very close to us only then one share their secrets. I think the guy loves you really so he told you the secrets. He is a brave person if the secrets were of that kind that they hurt you. Try to share some secrets of your own which can hurt him, it will be equal then.
@bouncybug (614)
• South Africa
8 Jul 11
The truth can really be a double-edged sword. On one hand, you want your partner to be honest with you so you know that you can trust him. But on the other hand, there are some things that it is easier to not know about, especially if they are things that happened in the past that have no relevance to the person's life today. I think if someone has changed and has done things in their past that they are ashamed about and are remorseful for, then it is not as important to know about them because they could just cause problems in a good relationship. But if they have relevance to the relationship at the moment or they show real dents in someone's character then you as their partner have the right to know. And you should make a decision about whether or not they are good enough for you based on that true information.
@Aryna120 (30)
• Malaysia
8 Jul 11
I am sorry but I was the other party, which is i am the one who is keeping secret from my bf. Bit the thing is I keep secret about my family, not about not being loyal or having dark secret. But when come to think of it, I lied to him not wanting to lose him. But now I bear the consequences which I cant live peacefully.