I have feelings for an older guy.

You've been shagging a dude for nearly thirteen years, had a kid with him, and he doesn't know you have feelings for him? That's kind of messed up. It sounds like he's been using you. I don't know a guy that would be friends with benefits for someone that long and not want to marry them. That's confusing!

If you really love the guy then age becomes immaterial. Go ahead and do not think too much about age.

Well if he is still in the picture and being supportive Financially for you and your child, unless he is Married you should not be afraid to let him know how you feel, and you should not let age be a factor. I have friends who are Married that have about 15 yrs. or more and are happy. Personally I think you should let him know how you feel. He might just be wanting to hear this.

If you are intimidated by the gap in your age, then it's time for you to make further assessment of your relationship. As far as I am concern, age does not matter in any relationship as long as the couple are going great together. My husband is ten years older than I am, a cousin of mine is married with a man 15 years her senior but both marriages work best and still adding years of togetherness. You are the one and the only who would know if age is affecting your relationship. Are you affected by people's smirk remarks about his age and you can for go everything just because you are ashamed of him? If you are worrying about the future, that he will grow old first than you, then why not grow old together?

there's nothing wrong with age difference as long as you care for each other. you said that you've known him for 13 years and you have a child together...well nobody knows him better than you do..and I think that you should try to find a moment when it's just the two of you and tell him..

I am very surprised that you have known him for 13 years and still don't know how to tell him exactly what you feel. It is very simple, just tell him how you feel. His being older than you are is supposed to make it easier for you to be open because I'm sure that he has much greater understanding than the men your age. Just be yourself and tell him whatever it is that you want to say. Don't hold the tension because it isn't healthy. Better understanding from each other springs from talking about things that you should be having conversations with to keep life alive and the relationship to grow stronger.

Having maintained that kind of friendship with him that long, he surely would have noticed it and mentioning this to him would probably no longer surprise him so I suggest that you just go ahead and tell him.

yeah the only solution to your probelm is for you to tell it straight to him..be straightforward. tell him how you have eventually learned to love him over the years, and you think you should be together...but of course, that is, if you are allowed to be together. is he married? what about you? anyway, for 13yrs you never had an official, real relationship, is that what you meant? well if he loved you, he would've told you already and made you feel it, unless circumstances wouldn't let him, or, maybe he just doesn't wanna get involved in a real, serious, committed relationship..?

At this point in time, i think what is your priority is your child's existence! I can not imagine how you managed to stay with him for 13 years and not able to know each others' feelings. How come? Age is no longer an issue here. Do you have plans together? Do you talk about the child's future?

I guess he already know that you have feelings for him. I mean usually no woman stay that much time with a guy for just be friends with benefits. Also, you guys have a child together! If I was you, I would talk straight with him and say that you like him and that you want that he defines if he really wants to stay with you.

That's fine as long as he is not MARRIED. Love don't look at the age, what's matters most is you love each other and you do have a child. cherish each other. And i hope you'll have commitment with him..

if you want to move forward and get married after all these years, you should let him know. He should have enough feelings for you to want to move ahead or should let you go. it's like he's been having a free ride all these years with no responsibility or real committment to you. what do you really want?

the great love

Hi, there! You have a child with him? Why not get married with him? If I were you, I will talk to him. You can't just let things happen without planning especially when you have a child now. Your child will get older as time goes by. Try to talk to him and make some action plans.