I Don't Want To Regret This Decision...

Thanks for your response! My grandma is very mentally intact (sometimes too much, lol). Just kidding. But, I know that she understands but she really doesn't want me to be too far away either. . Right now she lives with my parents and I know she doesn't want to be away from my mom. I am so close with her and I would live with guilt my entire life if I move and something terrible happens. If I live in guilt though she said she will come back and haunt me forever! LOL. She is just a great woman and I don't want to miss one moment with her. This is a tough one I know.

Your granny sounds like a wonderful grandma. If she is with your parents then she is receiving good care. Ask yourself, "What will I be able to do to stop something terrible from happening?" I think if you keep in contact with her and visit her whenever possible, you'll be ok as well as her. When God finally calls her, it will not matter if your close or far. What will matter are the quality moments you have shared during life, the memories of the impact she has had on your life. God Bless all grandmas. I wish mine were still around. Alas, all i have are the memories of those great women that made such a difference in my life. I will pray that God helps you with this very difficult decision and guides you towards a decision you can live with.

Thank you so much and your right there's nothing I can do to stop it from happening although I wish there was. I just don't want to miss her last moments that I could have had with her. I don't know, I worry and think too much I know.

I second talking to her about it. I spent lots of time with my grandmas when I was small, but didn't end up living near any of my family as an adult. I really think my extended family understands, I mean I've always understood that people can't all live close. It can be frustrating because we are all so busy and it's expensive to fly, but I'm sure you can make arrangements, put aside money so you can visit every year and make special plans. If you make the decision together and know you have her blessing, it might not be so hard in the long run.

Do you honestly feel your grandma would be ANGRY with you for moving somewhere where your husband would have more opportunity for work and a better job and therefore be able to provide a better life for your family? I don't think she would be angry, she would be SAD and miss you terribly because she loves you. We live two states away from my parents and don't get to see them often. I miss my parents but the likelihood of them moving here is about zero. In this economy, if you have an excellent job and benefits or the promise of an excellent job and benefits, sometimes you have to move away or not live near people you really love and miss. It's all about weighing benefit and risk. I think you should talk seriously to your grandma about your concerns for this move. Tell her the things you've struggled with here. Be honest with your feelings and how torn you are. I know when I am a grandma myself I will miss my kids and grandkids if they don't live close, but I also want them to have good lives and that might mean for them to live far away. I wouldn't want guilt to eat at them for moving away to have a better job and more opportunities for their kids and an easier time living. Would you want to see your daughter and her family struggle just to live near you if you knew they could do better in another city or state? You'd want her to have the best life possible, right? I just KNOW your grandma wants that for you.

Your right and I know it. I just don't want her to be angry with me, we are so close. I also don't want to move and something happen to her. I know for my family this is the best choice. Is it really tough? Heck yeah. I do not like tough decisions at all. I don't like that I might regret this later on. I do not like feeling guilty. Why can't life be easier?

I moved two states away from the majority of my family when I went to be with my husband. It was actually a very good move for me and right away I got pregnant with my daughter - however I remember thinking that I never thought I would be so far away from my mom while I was pregnant. 3 hours isn't so bad, I'm sure you will be able to plan to come at least twice a month, maybe your parents or grandma can help with a little $ for gas if necessary? I would probably feel rotten too, you know, the whole 'what if' thing, but I'm not thinking something will happen to your grandma just because you move away. Try not to think that way - and call her often. You can still talk to her every day, and I'm sure she would be glad to hear from you and help set your mind at ease that she's okay.

I always think that way! It is in my blood, I am not sure I can help it. LOL. I am always asking what if. Bad habit I know. I think that has held me back from a lot of great things in life. Man I need to stop that!

I live near her. She lives with my parents. She is being taken care of. I am just worried that the day I move something will happen to her and I will feel guilty because we are so close. I know she doesn't feel like I am deserting her but I do. We will live 3 hours away from her. I am hoping we will make enough money there to at least come every other weekend. But, if you had a relative that you were super close to and you moved away and something happened to them, wouldn't you feel kind of bad? My husband is out of town right now for work and it is breaking my heart. I am absolutely miserable to say the least so I know the move is the right thing to do for my family. I will feel really bad if I miss my grandmother's last moments, you know?

That was a very rude comment and I do not appreciate it at all. The problem is your just trying to get someone upset and I don't think that is very nice of you. My grandmother and I are so super close and I am afraid the day I leave to move she will DIE! You don't see a problem there? Are you human???????????? I love my husband very much and he is out of town right now for work and it is breaking my heart! I think you are a very mean person and I would appreciate it very much if you would stay away from any other discussions I post... Thanks!

Your right and I do agree. As another person said I need to stop thinking what if. I just don't want to leave and something really bad happen to her! And I didn't get to say goodbye or spend her last moments with her.

I agree that its very important for her husband to find good work to support the family and it feels and sounds like a big opportunity. After the family gets settled in I feel its important to keep communication open and make sure that the family either goes and sees the grandmother or sends for the grandmother. That way there will be no guilt at all. No regrets. Now that she is married with a husband and children its important to put them first.

She lives with my parents so they are taking great care of her. I am just going to miss her so much and I don't want anything to happen to her while I am gone since she is getting older and she has some health problems.

Thanks but my grandma doesn't do things like that. She is more of an old fashioned type. She doesn't know the first thing about computers. She always says that stuff is too confusing. I will visit her and call her as much as possible though.