At what age should children be able to prepare their own plate at meal times?

United States
July 9, 2011 12:21pm CST
My ex husband and I are having a disagreement on this matter. My son will soon be 8 years old. I have 5 other children. When I am busy tending to one of the other children, is it wrong of me to allow my 8 year old to make his own plate of food? I don't allow him to cook or use knives. I'm talking about making a bowl of cereal or putting some fruit and berries in a bowl or grabbing a cookie out of the cabinet. My ex husband believes that I should prepare all plates at all times and have them sitting out for the kids. I do this for the younger ones, and usually for my 8 year old, but at times I will allow him to make it himself if I am busy. What do you guys think? I personally see nothing wrong with it.
2 people like this
7 responses
• United States
9 Jul 11
There is nothing at all wrong with it. At the age of 8 a child should be able to fix his or her own plate. You should have trust in your kids to start doing things on their own instead of you doing everything for them. I completely agree with you there is nothing at all wrong with it.
• United States
10 Jul 11
Now I just need to direct him to this thread lol.
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
9 Jul 11
He is plenty old enough to be doing that. I think that it is a very good thing. You are helping him develop independence. There is nothing wrong with it at all.
• United States
9 Jul 11
I'm glad to know that so many people agree.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
10 Jul 11
8 yrs. old is a good age to be teaching your child some independance with being able to get some stuff for himself, especially if sat within reach. He could also be taught to help get stuff for the younger kids as well. Especially with having to raise 6 kids by yourself. Your husband thinks it is too young probably because he was never really taught to do so, and thinks he came out OK?
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
10 Jul 11
I don't see anything wrong with an 8 year old preparing cereal or a snack for himself. When I was 8, I did cereal for myself and my younger siblings. I also could make spaghetti, wash dishes, and do laundry. If you let your 8 year old do more things, he'll be more capable as a teenager and an adult. Isn't that the point of being a parent? Teaching your children how to do things, instead of teaching them that they aren't even capable of opening a bag. I have 1 child, and when he is 8, he will be pouring his own cereal, helping to set the table for dinner, and tidying his own room.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
9 Jul 11
It kind of sounds like you ex is just being petty. My kids are 8, 6, and 3. My kids will get up and get their own breakfast in the morning. When we go restaurants my 8 year old will carry her own plate to the salad bar and get her own food. I'm close by if she needs help. I think it is good for kids to be a little independent.
• United States
9 Jul 11
I agree, he is being petty. Growing up, my mother allowed me to do this stuff for myself and I grew up to be independent. I want that for my children as well. Thanks!
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
9 Jul 11
Kids should be taught to be independent with few things. And making his plate at age 8 is fine. He is old enough to do that thing. There is nothing wrong teaching kids some simple things that they can do by themselves alone.
• United States
9 Jul 11
I 100% agree. I don't want to helicopter parent my children. If its something that isn't age appropriate, I don't expect them to do it, but they learn by doing things on their own. I think its an important part of development.
@sanjay91422 (2725)
• India
10 Jul 11
I think there is nothing wrong in that. Your child is 8 years old now and he can take the meals by himself but you have to take care about the food content he use. sometimes children like one thing and don't like the others. It is important to have a balanced diet for the children to grow. So make sure he eat all the stuff needed in a balance diet.