Complicated Family

Yes this will complicate things a lot. I was adopted by my aunt (father's cousin) when I was just a year old. I know all my father's relatives but hardly know anyone my mother's side. In fact my first cousins stay just two lanes away from where I work and I dont know exactly where. If I have to meet my cousins anywhere I would not even recognize them or know them. When I lived in the hostel before marriage there was a boy in our group who got married to one of my friends. The day I saw the invitation card and saw his parents name I realized that he was actually my cousin..i.e. my mothers cousin's son. Luckily I did not fall in love with him!

i think if everyone concerned is honest about everything - it will not be so complex. if donors are not kept anynomous, every child knows who his/her biological parents are - it wouldnt be such a problem, would it?.. but to be honest, i totally cannot agree with sperm donors, where you totally do not know the identity of the father.... and surrogate mothers who carry a child that is totally from unknown / unidentified parents..

I am trying not to laugh but remembering one acquaintance who dallied with so many women when he was young that now he cannot go out with anyone much younger than him because he would have no way of knowing if it might be his own daughter. Now that is sick! But maybe it would be sicker if he hadn't given it any thought at all. I guess the guy matured a little bit. My, my.

I have to tell you that I agree with you whole heartingly because everyone should know who their biological mother and father are so that they don't meet up with someone who is their sibiling or half sibiling or in any way a close relationship such as a cousin or so. However, when a person adopts a child, the child is theirs regardless if it's blood or not. Blood doesn't always make a family. So in saying that, when making a family tree, an adopted child is a part of the family thus a part of the family tree as a sibiling. Now what gets complicated is when the parents divorce and remarry and have more children. Still, they're a part of the first family even though they have an entirely different family and thus the kids are half sibilings but don't need to be on the first family tree but on the fathers side of his continuing tree. I hope that makes some sense for it's hard to explain on here.

Hi SV, You are worrying about the complicated situations, i.e., unknowingly the sister and brother (half sister and half brother) involved in a relationship and its consequences. What about those who knowingly engaged in a relationship. I know a couple who are son and daughter of sister’s, they were in love and the girl become pregnant so family people didn’t had another option but to give consent for the marriage. I know some more complicated relation with siblings (I read it, don’t know directly). All is happening in India not in another country. People are doing the mistake knowingly then…

You could not have put it better than this SV. It sure is a matter for concern but whoever conceived this idea in the first place should have known about this. Science has progressed in different spheres no doubt but has miserably failed to take into account far reaching consequences. This is only a tip of the iceberg.

Yours is a very valid point. However, the percentage of children coming out of sperm donation or being born to surrogate mothers is comparitively less and this may not drastically alter the family trees of many families. I am not much aware about the position in other countries. I answered your post in the context of situation prevailing in our own country.

On television I saw the family tree of Prince William and Catherine Middleton. It looked totally normal on her side and special on his side of the family. Also on television I saw a true story about children now grown up finding their sperm donor father. These grown up children have many half brothers and sisters. I got married, had a baby boy and then six years later got divorced. Then I had another relationship and had a disabled baby boy and a baby girl. So now I have a 16 year old son, a 4 year old disabled son and a 2 year old daughter. A few of my friends were adopted. One of my friends found out he has a half sister and a half brother. In the 1960s both his mother and father had a baby and they were adopted. I can quite understand why in America schools have stopped charting the family tree. These days many families have a complex set up.

It is certainly something to consider. There are alot of branches that get lost and tangled on family trees. My own tree is a bit crazy. Things have a way of becoming very complex over time and something that is innocent now can hold great prices in the future.

very serious topic. it will become difficult to trace. Even now I do not know the names for fourth generation. Even when we know we know only names. Excepting for famous personalities for others these details are missing now itself. Regarding siblings put into marrying -- this is a tough point. Luckily such instances are quite few and may not cause problems for next few generations.