Do You Forget when you Forgive?

hello BB, One of negative traits I have is I can forgive but not easily to forget because every time I see that person it's all coming back yes even I forgive them still the pain is there it will takes time before I can forget what they did. happy mylotting

I think it very releasing to forgive. But sometimes it isn't fully come to its conclusion and I am there for not able to forgive. Then it is rough going. To forgive is human. Nice to forget after the whole thing. If the same thing happens again and again are we still supposed to forget and forgive?

hello Banny, I only have one say on this... my mentor teach me that in order for me to be forgiven when asking forgiveness when praying to GOD is...forgive and forget. "How can we asks forgiveness from GOD when we can't even forgive,and how will we ever asks forgiveness from GOD when we keep thinking those people who have sinned against us?" So,always forget when we forgive... have a good day

Forgiving and forgetting incidents is quite easy for me but not attitudes. It is the attitude that will raise its ugly head and repeat the hurt inflicted.

To forgive is to forget to have any feeling of wanting to take revenge. But if such experience has taught you a lesson, then one must not forget those lessons I suppose.

I can forgive wrong doing towards people who have caused me pain, but I will not forget it. I keep the experience as useful knowledge in case I'll get into a similar situation or interact with someone alike. I hopefully get smoothly get out of the situation before it gets too painful.

Personally in the Bible it states we need to forgive one another no matter what they have done to us, and forget about it. This does not always mean we have to want to be friends with them, and hang around them, but when we learn to forgive it helps make things more manageable as well. And in turn we are a lot happier and can get more things accomplished from there.

I always thought that "forgive and forget" is something that every decent human should do. I used to think that people who can forgive and not forget are not getting it, or are oblivious to their own selfishness just because they've been hurt. However, I had to go through a lot to learn how to forgive and make sense of it all. I think we'll all be the better if we forgive and accept. As for what I went through, I don't think I'm capable or ready to forgive. What was accosted me was painful and unfair. I thought better to sever ties with them as it seems that my friendship didn't really matter nor does my expressing my opinion in hopes that they change or improve. So instead, I accepted the situation. I can't do anything about the things I am passionate about that they are now fully in charge of. I can't say that I haven't forgiven them. I can't say that I have either. I just severed myself from their company. It seemed that my absence nor my presence didn't matter to them. Do I want things to be the way they were? Yes. Do I think that the friendship was wasted? Yes, to a certain extent. Did I think that time spent with them was genuine? Yes and only at that specific time. Was I really wronged? Yes. Will I try to make an effort to reach out to them? No. It's not worth it. Forgiveness deals with a great amount of acceptance than forgetting. If we forget, how can we learn from our experience? How can we deal with mistakes? Forgetting doesn't mean having to start over either. It means having to deal with what has happened and making the most out of a situation that is broken and surviving the aftermath.

It does take time for me to forgive, but I can forgive. What I can't do is forget. I will not hold it over the person's head and can be amicable, the thing is that if I totally forget then I am setting myself for a next time. Forgetting to a sense makes me feel like I would be vulnerable to others who potentially will do the same as well. Again, I will not hold it over the persons head and or have it as a constant reminder, as I am a good person and do understand that some can make mistakes. Not forgetting does not mean I dwell and or linger on it, simply my own way of guarding me in the future. I can't help but wonder why the acts were committed in the first place therefore, it does take time but I can be forgiving.

Forget or Forgive is really a big issue. Forgiving a person means that things that he or she has done to you will be erased and being forgotten. It's really hard yet I believed that its a good thing since its all about life. Sometimes were hurt and sometimes we heal. Not all people can forgive and forget what happens because for them it turns out a deep scar and if remembered can trigger the past memories that should be forgotten. In the end it'll just brought some unhappiness to a person. So forgiveness really matters because it just show that your stronger enough to face all the bad memories and trials in life and able to forget those is a pathway to a happy and compassion life. =)

Hello Banny, It depends on the person & the mistake for which you forgive someone.Suppose the person is closed one then it is always better to forgive & forget which is usually tough task but i do it and if the person is not so close then i forgive but not forget and become cautious for future. Same way if the mistake is big one and done by a closed one then i will forgive him/her but will take time to forget it.If the mistake is big but by done by not some one close then i will think to forgive forgetting is to be thought after forgiving him/her.

I don't think that when you forgive someone, you forget what he/she did to you. You start to forgive when you had finally embrace the pain that someone had caused. It's ridiculous to say that you have forgotten the whole thing. It is still there but the good thing is it's not painful to be remembered anymore. It's just like moving on, you do not forget of that someone but you just let go of the feeling of loving someone.

To forgive is to forget really means free yourself from the idea that the same cause of offense can happen again. It means letting go of the "negative feelings" cause by the offense... And I just like to add that there are other people who doesn't forgive easily. And I say this is OK, feel the anger first, dwell on it, don't rush in forgiving until you are completely ready to do so. So whenever you say, "I forgive you" forgetting will follow smoothly :)

If a person asks forgiveness simply means that he had something very painful to you. When we experience pain, it's traumatic. Some trauma has high impact and some may not. You can forgive the person but you cannot forget what he had done especially those things that very traumatic and painful to you.

hi Bannybanzie, i am a very forgiving person but in all honesty, when i forgive i don't forget what led to the hurting or whatever unfortunate incident. please let me explain further. you see, when i forgive, i can start all over again with that person who has hurt me or whom i have a disagreement with. i will be able to be friends with them but there is this thing that is in the back of my head that reminds me of the lessons learned with the past experience which makes me extra careful of not committing the same mistake again. i will forgive the person and will give as many chances with the same person over and over again but i can never forget the sin or the hurt that has been committed because that is the only way i know how for me to avoid the same mistake over and over again. well this is just my opinion and not an expert one indeed but it works for me though. take care and have a lovely day... faith210

There's been several parts in my life where I've been done so wrong and dirty however, I can forgive but I can never ever forget. After all, I am human and even though I'm supposed to forgive and forget, I can't. Even with friendships, I put my all into a friendship only for the friend to not like what I say or do or use something against me that they know I hold close to my heart in secrecy or not which hurts me to no end. So from now on, know this about me, this is me, like me or not, this is me. I don't go around hurting anybody intentionally and if I do hurt someone, I'm first to apologize because it's not my way to hurt anybody.

hi Bannybanzie it really depends on what the person has done,most things are minor and sure forget and forgive, but when a beloved parent betrays a little 8 yr old girl and molests her,injuring her so she will have trouble when she bears children. the adult woman can forgive that man who claims to be her father, but I guarantee you I have never forgotten. because of a selfish single criminal act by my own father,I had to have an emergency hysterectomy to save my life and had to be happy with having only two children. As it was we lost our own 8 yr.old daughter to pneumonia so I only had one child and of course could have no more. I as an adult forgave him but no I did not forget it,how could I? the magnitude of his action was actually criminal and should have been punished but never was to save my mom that humiliation. No I am no longer angry just numb.I respected him a nd forgave him to save myself from the sickness hatred caused in me. bu t no I cannot forget as he changed my life.

Forgiveness does not let him, the one who wrong us, to leave without giving an explanation. The need to permit him to us was wrong to discharge soul explaining how it came to wrong or what deficiencies were found in us which they have made ??mistakes. So can we hold accountable all those who wrong us by their actions. Forgiveness means not afford to be offended repeatedly. Forgiveness does not mean, however, to tolerate disrespectful or offensive manifestations constant. Not have to tolerate offenses, no disrespect or any other form of abuse from those who wrong us. Forgiveness does not mean we should resign to be victims. Forgiving, do not say: "What you do is good, so continue to treat me like this." Moreover, we should not usurping the role of martyr, always forgiving others just because we feel good in the role of victim. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. We can forgive someone even if we manage to get along perfectly with the person who offended us. Forgiveness is a process, not an accident. Perhaps it will take some time to solve our problems before being able to truly forgive. For those Forgiveness is a process, not an act that occurs in an instant. Forgiveness takes time and constant effort. Manifest in attitudes, words and mental disposition of each of us. Must be a mental disposition of real forgiveness, unconditional and irreversible. As soon as we decide to forgive, you have to do it.

I may forgive, but I don't forget. I think that is the Scorpio in me. But I try, as much as possible, to not let it consume me or else it will affect my life.

I think, the forgetting thing depends on how serious the offense has got into you. Personally, if the offense made a great impact to me and hurt me a lot, I think forgetting what had happened would not be easy on my part. I can forgive but I can't totally forget. I agree that when argument arises, I tend to bring back the issue and as a result, the argument will become bigger. I don't know, I don't know if I can ever forget like what others are doing. :(