Mama's boy
By maezee
@maezee (41988)
United States
July 12, 2011 5:15pm CST
Have you ever dated a mama's boy, a daddy's girl? I had a fleeting prospect with this guy, who's mom I have known forever - through work and as a family friend. I hung out with this guy a few times, on a non-dating basis (just as a potential 'friend' type of thing) and he is a pretty cool guy, but a few days later found out he told his mom everything that we did, certain things that I said, etc.
I envy his relationship with his mom, as me and my own mom are always very stilted (I don't tell her much of what's going on in my life), but this seemed way too crazy. Not even that he had anything substantial to tell his mother, we didn't really DO anything, just hung out, but it just bothered me for quite a while that he would tell his mom every single little unnecessary detail like that. Again, not that I don't love his mom, but this seems like a little overkill. It's a deal-breaker for me, because imagine if we actually DID anything - it would go straight to his mom. It just seems like another world in my opinion, where you tell your parents everything.. Again, a deal-breaker for me (so I choose to stay away from this fish.)
Have you ever dated someone like this? Or had an interest in something like this? Or maybe you even went and married someone like this? How do you HANDLE this?!
1 person likes this
13 responses
@eldeenz (25)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
I had one when I was in college and I have been very disappointed.It seems that this kind of men can't stand on their own. They would ask first their mom about things they want to do. A small problem comes in ,they will say "MAMA WILL HELP ME" or "I'll consult mama sbout this. I'ts not bad showing love to mommy but if it is too much,it could be very disgusting. Eventhough I love him, I cant cope up with the situation he is in so I broke up with him.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
14 Jul 11
See, to me this kind of behavior smacks of the parents not parenting effectively. A successful parent turns out a grown young adult who is self confident and makes their own decisions on their own and doesn't ask or consult their parents about things, they more or less might mention to their parents what they plan to do but they don't ASK PERMISSION.
In my opinion, a young adult in a relationship with another young adult has one obligation and one only - to make decisions jointly with the other young adult, not to make the decisions jointly with their parents. If you want to continue to make joint decisions with your parents, stay single lol.
If I were young and single I would definitely steer clear of ANYBODY who was still consulting with their parents before they did anything. That's a deal breaker for me, be independent and make your own choices or bye bye!
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
12 Jul 11
I made the mistake of marrying a mommy's boy. It has caused problems in our relationship ever since. Especially since she doesn't want to let go. She has two other sons, one who at 23 still lives at home, yet she won't let go a little since my husband now has his own family to worry about. And I always feel like he chooses her over us. I just thought that as we grew together he would choose us first and his mother would be in the background..boy I was wrong. I consider myself close with my parents, but I always put my family first. His mom makes me feel like we stole him away, and she doesn't seem to want much to do with me or her grandkids, which breaks my heart.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
14 Jul 11
That's horrible! Why doesn't he choose you over her? Your family ought to be more important, INFINITELY more important! I also believe as his mother that SHE should tell HIM the same thing - that he should focus on you and the kids, not her. Of course that's a wise and selfless thing to do and obviously many parents aren't mature enough to act that way lol.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
14 Jul 11
I have never dated a mama's boy and I never would. While I think it's great to have a close relationship with your parents, it should not pre-empt or be more important than your romantic relationship lol. In my opinion, when you have a serious romantic relationship, that is number 1 and anything else is a side dish.
I have two grown kids, and I have told them I don't need to know everything about their relationships any more. I also don't have any interest in making decisions for them or even sharing in them. Parents of grown kids who don't cut the apron strings make me SICK. Literally and figuratively. And some of the kids don't help matters any either by refusing to become independent!
It's hard to say what to do in this situation. Sometimes if you're already IN it and you love the person, you have to talk to them about having THEM have a heart to heart with the parent(s). They can assure their parents they love them but they can't be as 'involved', and then they have to stick to what they promise you. Bottom line, I do love my parents but my husband is more important lol. That's as it should be, after all, I live with him!
@savypat (20216)
• United States
14 Jul 11
I have never had this type of a relationship with anyone. Even Hubby and I who are close don't go to this extreme. We wil discuss something that happens but that is only between the both of us and we don't go into extreme detail. This relationship sound like the Mom is living through the Son. My Mom tried to do this with me, but on a different level,she wanted me to attain her life's goals, it made for a very stressful relationship.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
18 Jul 11
Never had.
I think part of the thrill of a new relationship is having to do things that only you and the other person know. I think that's a foundation of a relationship. To have something in common, that others are not privvy about.
So, I understand where you're coming from. It would just feel awkward.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
13 Jul 11
Honestly, I understood what you said above, and I won't go out with someone like that. It is good to know that guy has a great relationship with mom, overwhelmingly closed. But every single detail, it seems unnecessary right. If you have to do a report, simply a few words to describe the whole thing. It might bother me if a girl tell her friends and her mom every single thing too.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
For me I never taught I have a husband who is mamas boy it is really hard if you can't understand the feeling to have mind seat you always upset and you look old than them.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Actually, when my husband and i were on our first days of marriage, i noticed that he is so protective of his mom. There was even an incident, that her mom defended him for our quarrel over our maid. We had a shouting match and i never spoke with her.
My husband wasn't notified on this.
But after two weeks, here she comes so kind to me. She even has some gifts for me. From then on, she never quarreled with me again, because she now knows i fight back, specially when i know i am right. 
As the years passed , i learned that my husband isn't a very Mama's boy. He's just loving to his mom. 
My husband wasn't notified on this.
But after two weeks, here she comes so kind to me. She even has some gifts for me. From then on, she never quarreled with me again, because she now knows i fight back, specially when i know i am right.
As the years passed , i learned that my husband isn't a very Mama's boy. He's just loving to his mom.
@najibdina29 (1309)
• Indonesia
12 Jul 11
Think about your future and your partner. Is the future if married, your spouse will still mama to interfere the affairs of your family? Of course not it?! , Your spouse as a husband should have a firm stance, even though it was done on his own mama, Do not always rely on parents, if it intends to get married, try to be independent somehow. Although prospective in-laws of the wealthy, does not mean you and your partner just sit on my hands.
@barbie0816 (20)
•
13 Jul 11
I'd already experienced having a mama's boy bf...and you know what I can't take it..We've been partners for about 9 mos... trying to handle all the situation most specially with his mom,but it didn't last because often times he told me that his mom would not like any of my suggestion.Anything that we've talk about were being told to his mom..And there was a time that I finally can't handle it so I decided to broke up with him...
@llooll519 (108)
• Portugal
13 Jul 11
I hate daddy's girls, seriously! You need to do she wants all the time, and if you do not do it, she starts to "cry"... :@
@XxshubhamxX (115)
• India
13 Jul 11
well yess.!! i had a relationship wid a girl who was kinda daddy's girl...actually tottaly...she used to tell evry thing we guys share..initially it was okay wid me...bt it just kept on goin...and i just started getting annoyed by this ...actually it was quite frustratung...dat she yells out evrything we guys ever shared...but one thing is that des kinda are really caring and aweet ...dwy are very childish kind of...but it just did'nt worked out wid me...well dis was'nt the reason for r breakup...but was certainly a contributing factor towards dat...!!........and GUESS WAT ....the other girl i dated also came out to be kinda daddy's girl...lol.!
