dating a younger man

LOL!! Well there an attitude on the issue I haven't come across yet. Duly noted. I think I like this response best especially since I have been considering giving this younger guy a shot ;)

I agree with you rose. I certainly don't think it should be okay for one social group and not another. I am currently in a situation where I could date a younger guy and was considering it rather intently. I just wanted to see what some others thought of this. He's on my level so I don't see a major issue with it.

Yes, he is. He's really smart too. I think I am going to stop listening to negative onlookers who don't have my best interest at heart and don't care about my happiness. You'd go for it you say? I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes.

I would pursue it if I were in your shoes. It sounds like you already get along quite well, and he must be mature. Good luck!

Good luck to ya! If you love each other then age does not make any difference in my opinion. Remember you must also like each other.

This brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing that with me. I needed to know this. It warmed me in a way you couldn't possibly understand. Then again, maybe you do. I have made my decision about my baby. He is wonderful and waiting for me. He has been there for me quite some time. I had some work to do on me. He needs me. I need him. This conversation has caused me to see things in a way I had not considered before. I will be going home to be with him shortly.

Manley, I thought the like part came first or did I miss a memo somewhere? I like him, love him, totally dig him, and vice versa. I know we will be blessed because our goals and intentions match like two A flash cards, lol. I am still going to take my time. You know what they say, "anything good is worth waiting for and fighting for"!

I dated older and it didn't work. I dated younger and it didn't work out. I dated and married my same age and it didn't work out. I'm gathering that it depends on the two involved PERIOD! Nothing else. I don't think age has a thing to do with it. If two people love each other and can make it work...that's all.

Yes women with older men has been the norm for quite some time. It's getting a lot more progressive now. People are stepping away from some of the traditions of the past and living their lives for happiness now instead of social stigmas don't you think? Well at any rate, I think its just simply about two people caring for each other, having the same goal and making it work together. I mean I'm saying that's what it needs to be for me anyway.

lol No no no... I do not do Cougars at all. If the girl is older than me, she isn't even on my 'list' of prospective wives. That said, define 'work'? Every relationship 'works' for some amount of time. If it didn't, you would never have any relationships at all... right? So they all must start out 'working'. Now, before I reply, just so we understand each other, nothing I said was meant to reflect on you. I was replying generally. I don't know you. You could be anyone. You could be a guy for all I know. And even with a general rule, there are exceptions. Now too many claim to be the exception, and few are, but you could be. I don't know. So I am just reply generally. Generally, cougar relationships don't work. The worse the age difference, the less likely they are to work. Why don't they work? Well.. there dozens of reasons. I can't cover them all, and I'm not going to try. But I will relate something that happened recently. A guy contacted a friend of mine, to ask advice on divorcing his wife. He said that at work, there was a girl who was eyeing him, and he wanted to find out more. But he's married. Married to a lady more than ten years older than him. When ask why was he even thinking about this, he responded that he was only in his mid thirties. He was handsome and good looking, and yet he was with this girl who was in her early 50s, and she just doesn't look good anymore. He should be with someone his own age, that understands him and doesn't talk down at him like she is his mother, and he was tired of getting teased about his wife. Now there are many other reasons cougar relationships fail, and you could say this man is a jerk. I'd actually agree with that completely. And no, I have not heard whether he divorced or not. Perhaps my friend smacked some sense into him, I don't know. But here are some facts. Guys get teased for being with much older women. They do. Guys also start to feel like they have a mother instead of a wife. Sorry it is true. There is inherently a maturity difference between the two, and guys don't like being talked down to, by their wife. And lastly, when the woman gets older, and the guy realizes there are many younger women that would be happy with him, there is temptation. "Man are scum and jerks and pigs!" I agree, but it is the truth. Now again... please... I have no idea who you are dating, or who you are. It is possible that NONE of this even remotely applies to you. But... It is what it is. I wish you the best in your future relationship, and I hope you have a long happy marriage.

I like that you gave such a lengthy reply. I know you don't know me. And I am very much a woman, lol. I am not a cougar as you call it. I think that is ridiculous so I am sure none of this applies to me. I'm glad I look younger than I am cause in ten years from now he will look older than I am, but again all things you stated are social crap that he and I are both mature enough to deal with. Not to mention his friends don't know my age and all respectively think we are similar in age. So there. Even though I know you are "generally" speaking my reply makes me feel better about it. I will have a long and happy relationship, marriage or whatever we decide to do. Thanks for the well wish!

I would agree with this if this was the intent behind my situation. Andy, I don't know where you are getting your stats, but I have seen plenty of them work. Even if I decide to go all the way with my guy and I probably will, it most certainly won't be in attempt to brag about being able to "get him" or "devour him" as you put it. Since we have been really good friends for three years and have gotten to know each fairly well, I can completely see us formulating a lasting life long bond. That will be my aim and my hope. I hope you have not been the victim of the "cougar" you speak of. It sure seems like it from your reply. I will agree with you on one thing for certain...cougar relationships most likely don't end up lasting.

^5!! Let's see...I've been through the gamut of age differences... dated a guy 8 years older, married a guy 6 months younger (so same age, basically, except maybe for maturity level *rolls eyes*), and there's the relationship I mentioned with me being 12 years older. I can understand you not wanting to jeopardize the friendship but if you both know you have a "thing" for each other and you already know he doesn't care at all about the age difference, why sacrifice the possibility of something great? If you've been friends for years, you've got some longevity -- maybe it's time now to test it? I say accept the fear (that's always going to be there when stepping into a relationship of ANY age) and give yourself that shot at being happy with someone you already care about.

I can certainly accept this. We have been friends for about three years. He told me a few weeks back that he has always seen me as his partner. I am not really sure what this means as I over analyze everything and need a definition for most things, lol. I use to work for him and he liked my work ethic and how well I performed, so this could be business partner in my mind. He has mentioned the "S" word a time or two where we are concerned but doesn't obsess over that. It has been so long, I'm not even sure I can still do it. Is it like riding a bike, lmbo? Did I mention we live in different states? He says, "souls know NO distance". I melted when he said this to me. I didn't let him know it though!

Okay, you're my new mentor, lol. I'll let the cat out of the bag. There's a guy I have been friends with for a few years now and we have this "thing" for each other. I have been reluctant because of age, but he somehow doesn't care. I am nine years and some change older than him, but you can't tell by looking and in terms of maturity either. I want to give it a shot, but I'm a little scared, not to mention I consider to have lost a good guy friend of mine who I thought was going to be the one (he is older than I). At any rate, it is so good to know, there is another ME out there in the world somewhere, YAY!! In terms of being the older one in the relationship.

Well, look at it this way...if you were the same age then he'd still be a hottie and you you'd still have the same concerns. I kind of know what you mean though. I tend to date men that are younger too and a part of me is just all that much more aware of every wrinkle, crinkle etc.

The labeling just add to it negatively for me. It's already hard to things that are out of the norm where society is concern. I am quickly learning to take the opinions of others with a grain of salt. Everyone is doing what they want when they want anyway. I should be no different if it makes me happy right? Him being ten years younger than me does make me think. I want this to last. We both want a situation that will. I think that I am obsessing over his age. I just need to go for it. We have so much else in common that I don't think the age thing will matter. He has never mentioned other than to say he gets along better with older woman. I on the other hand, have mentioned it several times. I think its more of an issue for me because I am older and well he's a hottie that any girl and quite a few do, would want.

LOL. I tickle myself times.

Yeah, I think 30 years is too many years, but I agree...ten is not too many. I dated a guy that I was 15 years older than. He was not mature enough in the proper categories although he did have some maturity about him. He was a little young for me I admit, but he came after me aggressively and well...what the heck was my thought. My kids loved him and still to this day want to know why I want get back with him. They are too young to understand, lol.

I have to say you are correct. Mutual respect for one another is something we have in common. I am sure we both have a love for each other, but have not been able to truly cultivate it due to distance. I am hoping to close the gap between us very soon. I just wasn't sure I wanted to be the one who was oldest. I dated an older guy once. We were not balanced and not on the same level. In this situation the age gap mattered because he was from a time that severely differed my own. I found myself doing a lot of compromising to be with him. I am glad I have a few different types of experiences to be able to speak eloquently on the subject. I won't let any of them keep me from giving a go with this new guy. I could use some newness and excitement in my life.

If you grew up in my family you would know why I am a skeptic on everything. We were taught to uphold the family name in the highest regard. Even if it meant sacrificing your own personal happiness. One of the reasons I shun the family so much now. I am just now learning to do what pleases me and makes me happy. It's a far stretch from what I am use to,but I fully intend on exercising these new practices to the fullest extent possible.

Go for it. I'm happy that you find excitement and seems to be happy in that situation. Never allow anybody to stop you from feeling happy. AS long as you're not doing anything wrong or illegal then do whatever pleases you.

That is my sentiment exactly that they are all the same. From what I am gathering it's all about finding one you can grow with, have some similar interests, and be happy with. Sure sounds like you have found that. I am after the exact same thing. Actually, I believe I have it. I was too focused on an older guy who let me down to notice that I had what I wanted right before my eyes the whole time. Plus I was letting the age factor get in the way. The younger guy has more than proven he can handle a mature woman. In fact, I think he favors the idea more so than I which is a plus. I have a few more bones to bury in my hometown and then its back up North to be with him. I'm ready to see what lies ahead for us.

My sweetie told me, "souls know NO distance". I believe that. I say take your time. It has taken me three years before I am deciding this is what I want to do. I am so moving closer to him the second I have the chance. I don't know if this is an option for you all, but if it's love I would do all I can for it.

I'm not sure if I had found it yet. Were both being stubborn and both of us having kids it's tough for us to see each other. He lives in Louisiana and I live in Iowa so were many miles apart. I wish you luck and hope things work the way you want it.

I can definitely see how it would make you feel scary. I have been scared also. The other options have not been so great though. So, I have decided to try it anyway. We only live once and I don't want to have missed out on a great relationship because I was afraid to try.

that's true, but it's seems kind of paranoid for me.I'm afraid of looking too old instead my boyfriend I don't know how to controll this

hahahahah.... nice advice exactly actually it's all about self confidence, dear.I'm too shy and care about what people said about me.it's terrible!!

I agree with it being the two involved one hundred. I have tried my age, younger, and older, and I'm not with any of them now. This guy just happens to be younger, but he's on my level more than anyone I have ever dealt with. I am attracted to his mind, not his age. Because I am older I guess I didn't want to face ridicule, but I'm getting to the point that I don't care what anyone has to say. Like or leave it. As long as we are happy, that is all that should matter.

I agree. I got my initial advice from someone who doesn't care much about my happiness so you'll have to excuse my ignorance. I have been sharing here on the site and have a much better take on things. I totally plan on going for it.

I have good genes, also. The whole side of my Mom's family (13 siblings) all still alive and most look at least 15 yrs younger than they are. My Mom is 76 and people think she is around 60 yrs old. Fortunately I take after my Mom's side. People have actually asked my husband if I was his daughter..lol I love it! Good for YOU! Go for it!! I would!

That is what I love about my genes. I have good ones on both sides. My grandmother on my moms side is 74. She looks it but she is strong and has a long life line. Which is good for me. I get to reap some of that. Having a good heart morally helps too in my opinion. My dad's mom, well she passed away, but that was from aggravation if you ask me, but she looked great when she did leave. As long as I continue to take care of myself, which I am heavily into, I should be good. Having someone to look good for is definitely a motivator ;)

WOW. Twenty years difference and it works. I guess anything is possible. This is so uplifting. I would have been afraid deathly to get serious with a guy half my age. He's so young and inexperienced isn't he? Or is he? I have learned from my own life age does not keep one from being experienced. I had quite an eventful childhood and early adult life. I am proud to say things are calming down a bit and realizing some normalcy. I am so glad you posted this. I am truly going to let go of my inhibitions and gives things a try with my friend.

I know you are right about this. When two people really want something they will find a way to work it out. I don't want to go into it thinking that their might be a problem. I want things to be free flowing and honest. I also don't want to lose the communication between us. We already talk really well, so that should not be an issue. I am going to keep a positive outlook and do my best to let my guard down and be trusting. Giving this a real chance. I don't want to say I will throw caution completely to the wind, but I will give it a good try.

I'd say go for it! If someone makes you happy it shouldn't matter what age they are. Love doesn't know age, you know. :P If you love them then you love them regardless of how much older than you they are or how much older than them you are.

I honestly don't think I could have said this better. I have a few more things that I have to "iron out" in my life. Unfortunately, these things have to be done in my home town. But they are soon to be rectified. After which I am thinking of moving to be closer to him. He's ready to cultivate in person.

I agree. I just wondered what were some views from others here. I would love to hear from someone who thinks its a problem. Just to see what they'd have to say. I truly don't see an issue with as long as like my friend Ike said, "it's healthy". This gives me a little hope as I am seriously considering going all the way on a similar situation.

I don't judge anyone really. I mean who am I that I should or could even for that matter. We are all here to enjoy our lives and be happy right? What makes one person happy may not suit another. I posed the question because I was somewhat reserved about a guy because he is younger than I am. After the very large discussion I have had concerning it the last few days, I have decided to go with it. He's a great person who deserves a woman like me and I deserve him. I think I may even love him already. We will see how it works out. I have a good idea that it's going to be just fine.

Now that's one way I had not considered and you are right. We should support each other more. It seems there is so much competition amongst women. I frankly have found out of the relationships I have had, I like younger guys better. The older ones can be set in their ways a bit. Younger guys tend to be more open and free in my opinion. Not saying they are all that way, but the ones I have dealt with have been. I totally am going to pursue this relationship with him. He's young in number age, but he's so mature and knows how to handle himself which turns me all the way on, lol...I am so excited about being with him.

I was just thinking this very thing. I hope to go and be with him in a few months. I have a few more things I need to take care of, but past that I am expecting to be with him soon. There more I talk about it here the more excited I am becoming about the thought of this.

If you won't try, you will never know :) It's just simple as that :)