Do You Think It Will Hurt Them In The Future?

Are you working full time? Unless the kids say something to you or begin acting out or behaving badly, they are probably handling it fine. Many parents work and don't worry excessively about their kids. The parents i worry about are the ones who actually believe they can have kids and then still continue to live as if they didn't - using a full time nanny, dumping kids on their parents and inlaws and other relatives constantly, both working fulltime or MORE when it's not necessary. If it's a monetary need, it makes sense, but there are people who do this without a monetary need. How old are your kids? I am home with my daughter but I do child care for other people. I tried working part time when the older kids were younger and that was a virtual disaster, I only worked twice a week and always on those days something would happen with the kids, at school, issues at home etc. It was obvious after a few months that they resented me working and were CAUSING some of the problems in order to get me to come home. In the end, an emergency occured which led to me giving notice and quitting because I just couldn't continue. As long as things are relatively peaceful and you do spend time with your kids when you're home and they are with someone you trust who loves them when you are not, you probably don't need to worry. It's not like you really want to be away from them

Well I think it's the quality of time you spend with children not always the quantity of time, I'm no expert but I think as longs when your with your children you make every moment count they will appreciate and understand someday that it was and is necessary for you to work With that said, no I don't think you are hurting your children by supporting them through working as long as you make the time you spend with them count you and your children will be fine god bless you and your family.

No! Are they school age? If so in the fall , they will be in school as you work. If they are younger? It will be an adjustment but I don't think they will be scared for life! They know Mommy loves them? when you are off work, do you spend time with them? If you can say yes, then try not to worry... much. I know saying ' Don't Worry" to a good mother is a waste of time. A good Mother worries until Her dying day!

That's a hard one. The short answer: Maybe. The long answer is, it depends greatly on how much family time you make sure you have, and if you try and substitute things and junk for you being there. There are two stories that I want to relate to you. First, are you harming your kids? My parents were never there for me. When I needed them, they simply were not there, or worse, they were there but didn't listen. I grew up in daycare, and my earliest memories are of daycare. Not mother of father. Someone would pick me up at 6PM, which was horrible because that meant play time was over. Hint: Never make it so that to your kids, your arrival signals a negative thing. Once I was in school, I got a key to the house, and would walk home from school. I'd sit in a big empty house from 3 pm till 5 or 5:30, when someone would show up. But I still wouldn't see them because they would be making dinner till 6 or 6:30. Then we'd eat. We never really had 'family time' so-to-speak. Family time, was that 30 minutes we ate dinner together at the table. But before dinner, and after dinner, we were all in separate areas, doing our own thing. When I was younger, I would meet kids who were home schooled. I remember being so envious of them, that their parents loved them so much, they would stay and teach them at home. Meanwhile, I was shuffled off to public schools, with teachers who didn't care about me at all. Thanks mom and dad. Now listen... Before you or anyone else start thinking they are destroying their kids, understand that not everyone's experience in school is horrible, and not everyone does awesome at home school, and there are kids of parents who both worked and their families turned out ok. At same time, I have never been very close to my mother. Never. Not even to this day. She was a school teacher, and helped everyone else's kids, but not her own. That said... There is another aspect to consider. Are you harming yourself? Sometimes your kids are just fine. But you, your the one that lost. Back in 1998, I moved out of my parents home, into an apartment. Slowly, subtly something changed. At first it was do you wanna do this on Saturday, and then it became road trips, camping, cruises, tours through Europe and all kinds of stuff. It was driving me nuts for awhile, until I realized that it had dawned on them, that I'm gone, and now they want to make up for lost time. I had lived in their house for 20 years. For 20 years they could have done any of those things. But they didn't. Now I have bills to pay, Rent to pay, car repairs to pay for, gasoline to buy, insurance to pay, and food. In short, I now have adult responsibilities, and I can't be running off because mommy and daddy woke up this morning, and realized their darling little son was gone. Now that sounds harsh... and perhaps it is, but everyone everywhere always says "time flys and kids only grow up once", but the NEVER ACT LIKE IT. Listen to me very carefully. You child is only 5, for 12 months. He is only going to be 10, for 12 months. He'll only be 15 for 12 months. By the time he, or she is 20, they'll be moving on. You have only *NOW*, as in RIGHT NOW, to make some memories! Don't be like my parents, and calling me up when I'm 25, and complaining because I can't just drop everything, call work and tell them I'm flying to Europe because pops wants to make up for the 20 years I was in his house and we did nothing. When I talk to working women, this right here is the biggest regret. They got the new car, the big screen TV, the beautiful house, and a memory full of years lost at work. So here is your question... Are you hurting them? I don't know. But are you hurting you? I wager... if you can answer the second, you'll have answered the first.

I don't think you are hurting them at all. I believe you are doing what's best for them. I have been a stay at home mom for the better part of the time I have been a mom. I have always tried to find work that would allow me to be with them. If you can find work that will allow this then it would be great if you could be at home with them, but if you can't then you have to make the ends meet...end of story! Don't beat yourself up. It shows you are great mom that you gave up your desire to be at home to go and get a job for them.

I think that parents working is a good model for children. It can though hurt them if the parents neglect those important things like developmental milestones that is important for children to experience alongside their parents. I think it is important to remember that is is not the amount of time that we spend with our children that makes their growing up positive or negative, but instead it is the quality of the time you do spend with them. And do not let your job make you miss the important milestones. Things like parent teacher conferences, plays, games, graduations etc... as well as open communication makes for quality interaction with our children and therefore healthy psychological development.

I don't think you are hurting them at all. My mom stayed home with us for a few years but then she had to go back to work. Her and my dad worked opposite shifts so that someone was home for us all the time. Just make the most of the time you are home and it won't matter. My husband barely sees our kids because he works 6 days a week and 5 of those days he doesn't get home till after they are in bed. They don't seem to mind at all because Sundays he spends with them and plays with them.

I think it all depends on how much time you spend with them after you get home from work. Are you patient with them and try to assure that you spend quality time with them? This is important. When my 3 oldest children were younger I was a single mom. I worked and sometimes went to college as well. I did not spend that much time with them and when I was with them it was always go go go... doing something, cooking, cleaning, homework etc.. I missed out on so many things in their young lives because of this. I am older now and in my second marriage and I have a 21 month old (my older boys are 21, 20 & 17). I am also a SAHM now and I see how many things I missed out on with them because I did not have that opportunity. You really have to be aware of how much attention you give them and how much quality time you spend with them during this time. Good luck.

This is such a tough question. I faced this issue too, when my children were young. I chose at times to stay home and at others, to return to work. The best balance I ever found, when my children were preschoolers, was to do home daycare! For me, it was the best of both worlds! I worked full time once my children were in school full time, but I wish I could have been home for them full time. I wonder if I couldn't have worked it out better, but there is no point in rueing the past. I am glad I took the time I did.

I don't think so. I think it will help them to become more independent. They will figure it out that they don't need their parent's help all the time. I think it will also make whatever little time you have with them more special. Don't fret!

I think of you have explained it to them that it's just for a while then I know they will understand.Now a days it's common that both parents are working due to the present economic crisis that almost all countries are experiencing. Also if you think that they are too young to be left behind you can hire an extra hand to look after them while your at work if you can afford but if they are old enough to care for themselves they'll understand for sure.

in my opinion, you should stay with them when they are little children,because they need mom's love in that period,you can not start to work until they can talk or walk,if you go to work when they are very young,maybe they will be unfamiliar with mom in the future.

Hi dear mother, I really feel the pain of your heart. Most cases, it is unavoidable to meet the financial status of family. But you can still spend time with them on weekends and as kids grow up they will understand your feelings for them. So they will feel proud of their mother.

I think you can not hurt your children,earn more money is useful for your children's life in the future, the future is important than now,there is no question about it.you could play with them in your spare time.whem them grow up they will understand you and they are sure you will be with them momently.

how old are they if i may ask? if they're too little, of course you really have to stay at home. you can work at home anyway.. if they're big enough to manage with themselves, i guess explaining it to them why you have to work is ok. they say, a salary of a husband wont suffice for the entire family so the wife should work too.. you just have to balance. get a time off on their no-school day so you all can get together and you can spend quality time with them.

You have to give meaning to your child. Your child should understand, why you should work. You should also take time for them, when you're not working. So your child feel your attention. You only need to divide your time.

I spend a lot of time with my son when he was a child.he was a lovely boy then.but now i find that he depends too much on us.

i don't think that you are hurting them by not being physically present all the time. i mean what you are doing is or their future, right? they might have to adjust to the idea that you will not be present at home all the time... but i sure believe that they understand. - kat

I think a lot of it has to do with your kid's ages. A lot of development happens in the years leading up to kindergarten. If you can't be there for them at least find a really good day care that spends time teaching and interacting with your children in a positive way. However, once your kids are in school I believe it is easier to work when they are in school and not have a negative impact on their lives. In the end it is your choice a lot of parents work with kids and do just fine.

i think that u want to earn money for u r childrens futute and it is very good to be them. u can spend time with them when ever u got time. i think they can understand u r feeeling. so best of luck