Spark , needed or not?

I don't look for a spark at all! The first time i saw my husband was in a public transport. I was in college he was in high school. I gave him a look and thought to myself, this kid has charisma and great appeal. I never thought i'd fall for him after 5 years because i just considered him as a kid. Like you, i don't really look for sparks. That spark is not an assurance that love will last a long time for you. That spark is often misunderstood as love at first sight. That spark might just be a physical attraction which is the least of my concern in having a lasting relationship.

Relationships take time to blossom generally. And some people may not open up in first meeting itself. So as you say-giving a chance- seems to be a good policy. Actually our opinions about others keep changing as we know more and more about them.

This is not an easy question to answer; I say that because if a person meets someone and are constantly looking to see if there are sparks they could read something that is not there. What happens if there are sparks and the person you are attracted to is married or committed to another relationship? I am with you, I don't look for sparks, I would first like to get to know about a person's life; whether they are in a relationship, married, just ended a relationship and so forth. However, if a person is just looking to have a fun night out, then I suppose there would have to be some sort of attraction for the "hookup" to happen. Nowaday, "hooking up" is a dangerous game to play if you don't know how to play the game; usually girls lose. Being friends first, would be the smart thing to do and if there is going to be romance between the two people it should happen gradually. This way the relationship will have a better chance at surviving.

For me in my owned I will never said yes in a date if I don't have spark feeling to that man.

For me, it is a requirement that I feel a certain spark for a person for me to be on the move to get her. The sudden burst of attraction acts like a first screening test for me.I am most likely to be interested in a girl if at the first meet up I get a spark with her. Most people I met with no real spark happening always end up as just my acquaintance or friend. I really don't have a drive to pursue knowing a lot of deep things to someone I am not attracted to in the first place. But if I get the spark, the next stage is to get to know the person. That's where the dating takes place. But for me, before I ask a girl out for a date, I need that spark plug out there first. Haha!

In my opinion there needs to be a spark but not necessarily physical attraction. When me and my boyfriend had dinner together for our first date we had this unspeakable closeness and connection it felt really natural. I don't think of it as an attraction but an overall sense of comfort even though I had only known him a couple months I felt like I could tell him anything and he felt the same way. We ended up making out for several hours and didn't go any further than that. Now we have been together 6 years and still going great. None of my past relationships felt this comfortable and trusting and ultimately I think that is part of what ended the relationships. Look for someone that makes you feel like the best you that you can be. You feel funnier, smarter, more attractive, more comfortable all from being around this person. I say give others a chance because you never know how things will turn out but look for that connection.

I first got into a relationship with my current girlfriend before I actually dated her and it took me very long before I actually felt the SPARK that you are pertaining, and now we are in a nine-year relationship and very much in love. Giving it a try and chance to grow is worth a shot, and I say go for it if you want to.

Yes, i am on the same boat as you. In fact, my husband and i when we first met doesn't have an eye for each other. But as we always go in groups and were matched , we developed a close relationship, which eventually led us to love each other.

More than the spark, there has to be a connection between you two. There has to be something you can talk about. And you have to be comfortable with each other even when you have NOTHING to talk about.