As I Grow Up...

Philippines
July 17, 2011 7:48pm CST
As I grow up, a lot of things have changed. My mindset and view of life has changed in a way I never thought it would. I used to think we have one of the happiest family that ever existed. But now, I'm starting to see it wasn't really like that. I came to realize that no, my parents are not as happy as I thought they are. My dad is giving us more headache now. He is a c0ck (rooster)-fighter. He has always been. But now, it seems like he can no longer control himself. He is in c0ck fights almost everyday! Yesterday, he left to go to c0ck fight competitions from morning till afternoon. We were surprised as he ate dinner earlier than everybody. He never does this. He always waits for my mom to come home and we all eat together but to our surprised, the food was eaten and he ate already. He left at around 7:00 p.m. and came home 5:00 a.m.!!! He went to c0ck fight again! He is so hooked into this gambling and nobody in the house would like him to be like that! We don't like our family to be like everybody else in the neighborhood. I don't want to make money then just throw it like that. He also seems to set aside the more important things.. This makes me really sad and my whole family. We'll talk to him but he'll just get mad. I hope he realize soon how this thing affects the family.
2 people like this
9 responses
hardworkinggurl
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
18 Jul 11
Banny, I am sorry to hear your family is undergoing this issue. Yes it will not be easy to speak to him as he is the one who has to understand how it is affecting you all as a family. Unless he realizes the bad effects there is nothing anyone can say that will cause him to make changes. This has to be really hard but the only thing is that perhaps continual reminders to him on how it is affecting may someday get him to change. Sad sometimes that people loose their loved ones and then they figure out there is a problem, by then it is too late for some. My prayers dear and hope he realizes the bad effects this is all causing you all. I am sure your mother is suffering terribly, therefore, try and be there for her.
1 person likes this
Patsie Hatley
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Jul 11
hi HWg I suggested Gamblers anonymous and also mental help from a psychologist too hope they can get some help some way as I do' really feel for them., Gambling is proved to be an addiction.
1 person likes this
hardworkinggurl
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
18 Jul 11
Oh yes Mrs. Hatley, gambling is considered an addiction when they begin to make all sort of changes as Banny mentioned. Gamblers anonymous can certainly help. Great advice.
Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
18 Jul 11
Hi guys! Thanks for your opinions and advices. By the way, I know he needs medical help. I'm just sad because I know he would not do such. He would not check with a doctor. He can't even see a doctor when something is painful in him, how much more a psychologist...? Thanks guys and hope the best for all of us!
jennyze
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
22 Jul 11
I am sorry to hear that. I guess no family is perfect, so we all must do with what given to use. No one can pick their parents, so we have to try to live as what we think is good and hoping that everyone around us will do good, too.
jennyze
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
22 Jul 11
I hope so, too...
Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Well, I used to thank that he was my father because he is a good man. But he has changed so much since he had been sticking around this other gambler.. He's a bad influence to my dad.. I just hope he do realize his mistakes soon.. Thanks.
celticeagle
@celticeagle (166911)
• Boise, Idaho
18 Jul 11
I used to have a much different mindset also. I am going to be sixty in Novemenber. So your dad is addicted to the fight gambling. That is a very strong addiction. One of the major ones. It is a very sad state of affairs to be sure. But do you think you can get him to seek help? Hard,huh?
celticeagle
@celticeagle (166911)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Jul 11
All you can do is realize that giving him money is not helping him. And if you all stand together it is great.
Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
It's so hard.. Actually, now, he has just left and went to another game.. He is even asking if I have money!!! My mom took all my money so I don't have any money and I won't give him either. He won't seek help. He thinks he does not need that.
1 person likes this
Toni
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
I'm so sorry to hear what's happening to your dad. I hope that he would listen to you and the rest of the family. Can't your mother convince him otherwise? My dad used to be addicted to gambling and that was before i was born. But my mother had to suffer 7 years of his gambling before that. NOt sure how my mother convinced my dad that he's destroying our family, but the thing i knew was that since i was born, he was the one who took care of me. I practically grew up in his arms. I hope that he'll realize that before it's too late.
Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Hi! Yes, we are going through something really tough right now because of his issues.. and he does not even realize that no matter how much we tell him! MY mom can't do anything to him... she would cry and cry.. but he would just defend himself.. thinking my mom is crazy.. I hope he wakes up before we're all gone.. Thanks by the way and enjoy your mylot!
onlineside
@onlineside (81)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
as we grow up we can experience a lot of good and bad its experiences and the bad and good experience it help us mold of what we are now if we are weak we become strong and if we are afraid we become brave and if we are slow we become fast because of that experience we can have some motivation to practice to make us grow.
Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
meriel
@meriel (101)
• Philippines
18 Jul 11
it is really hard if one of your family member hooked by any gamble.. it destroy one life and also the family. it can lost respect from your children or to young ones. They will just realized that they made a mistakes if those important people or things they have is gone already. and they can't take it back to them. to you bannybanzie.. don't lose hope. don't give up to your father. tell him always that gambling is not a good doing. it can destroy you and your family. and it is just a waste of time and most especially it was just a waste of money. There are a lot of important things that he should give more attention than gambling.
Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Hi! Thank you so much.. Yes, it's really destroying.. and I don't know why he can't see that he's already destroying our family.. Thanks and enjoy your stay here at mylot.
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
18 Jul 11
hello Banny, Gambling is one of the bad habit that ruins a person's personality and even family. I've known a person who lost her family and belongings due to this gambling. She was hooked with casino by friends who introduce her this game. She then get worse and came to the extent of selling their assets and properties because she wants to make up with her losses,but only to end her up with nothing. This is very sad then,her husband left her and her 2 daughters. Now she is living with a miserable life and even her friends who dragged her to that gambling are nowhere to help and ignored her.
Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Hi! Yes, it ruins families.. I can see that our family.. our once happy family will be a broken one so soon if this does not stop. Honestly, there's this person who drags him to get hooked to it more.. He would try to resist but because that person comes to our house everyday(!!!!) to get him go there, he can't resist..I want to kill that guy.. honestly! I hope he realize what he's doing and its effects before its too late. I love him but if this continues, I won't think twice to leave him and go away with my mom and brother.
asliah
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
22 Oct 11
hi, i am so thankful that i have a kind of family that i can really proud of to many people,because no one of my family really make us problematic and sad,because they have no bad vices in life,and we all wanted a simple but a happy life.
tryurbest
@tryurbest (115)
• China
18 Jul 11
Have a talk with him and let him know how important he is to the family. Try to change his bad hobby to the other,such as sports.
Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Yeah.. we have talked to him, I have talked to him, my mom had cried to him.. nothing's changed and it's even worse! It's so hard and so giving me too much headache.. Just enjoy mylot dear..