What Will You Do When...

Part of the reasons why you marry someone is because you accept him/her wholly. No one is perfect. And one's spouse or spouse-to-be is definitely not an exemption. It's important to tell yourself that you will definitely see both good and not-too-good qualities of your partner after marriage. The key is to ready yourself for after all, you are to commit to a lifetime of companionship.

I think the best thing to do now is to PRAY, ask GOD to give you strength with what you're facing now. Just be patient with your husband and your feelings. I know you'll pass all this. Godbless and stay faithful

Hi Bannybanzie! That's a really complicated situation. I have thought about that even if I'm not yet married and I don't have plans of getting married yet. I have considered live-in, you know, living together without marriage, before actually getting married. So that, if I found out that me and my partner are not compatible and I fall out of love of him, then it wouldn't be complicated to get separated. And getting back together will not be complicated, too unless either one of us already has a new partner. Having children would definitely make it more complicated to get separated or staying together. But I don't think I would be able to stay living together with a person who I don't love anymore, especially if I'm already tired of that person. Even if that person still loves me it will only irritate me. I may feel guilty towards my children but I will try to make them understand. I do think however, it's really worth to marry someone you love even if you will lost that love in the future. At least you have that period of your life where you married for love and lived together with that person you loved and produced children with him. It's not the ending that matters, it's the actual experience that matters.

I would not marry again for anything. People get together too quickly. They don't take time to get to know one another before they are in a committed relationship with someone they basically don't even know. I didn't stay for the childs sake. It is not worth it to me to marry someone anymore.

It really depends on how bad is the issues. If it is not principal, then I guess I would try to tolerate the issues and work together on how to improve the relationship. However, if it is related to something principal like cheating, then I would not reconsider twice... even for the sake of the children... Bad? That's I am....

Hi Banny, in the country where I live where there is no divorce is there a choice for us if we are the type who are law abiding citizens. No choice but to remain in the same house as the husband shall we say for children's sake. Looking for another husband is the last thing that I would do. On your last question, my answer is that it would depend on the situation. I will not elaborate more, I may say things that may become the cause for the termination of my membership here in mylot.

I don't think it's common to happen only a few days or months in, but relationships are not infallible and love is not permanent and I don't see anything wrong with that. It sucks, but it happens. I absolutely do not believe in staying miserable solely for the sake of appearances. If a relationship is no longer happy or healthy, then I think the only sensible thing to do is break it off and move on with your lives. Children are absolutely not better off being raised by parents who are no longer happy together.

If you have kids already then you have to stay put for a while more and check if the situation improves or not... usually it does, after a while the current phase you are facing will vanish and you will start loving your spouse again, just dont give up soon... What things you expect from your spouse you do the same for him/her and you will find that he/she will reciprocate... start changing yourself first before you want to see the changes in your spouse....

When it comes to that part where couples experience rough roads..it is a matter of how they will survive it to pass through. There are points in a relationship or marriage where it gets banal..the spark is gone but at times it happens involving a lot of factors.. There were even times when me and hubby did went through it..just going on with our lives..working, coming home and sleeping..it was like a routine! It felt like there is nothing left to do but work work work.. and we even thought it was enough for us. but we were able to sit down, talk about stuff..reconnect, rekindled what was missing in our lives. So will i leave him just because i thought the love is gone? I won't because i always believe he is meant for me and vice versa, we've been through very tough roads yet we were able to pass it..broken yet we were able to mend it.

actually as every couple,they often meet some difficulties when they live together.including me,when i feel that i am disappointed with my marriage,i often think we should select to divorce.after several auguement between us,i find that it is not significent to augue for some small thing.because we could not the perfect person,every person could do perfect thing and let everyone satisfation.so i have never noticed this thing and try my best and let my family happy.because he is good man.he often let me happy in life.

hello BB, If I am going to marry someone I bound to accept him wholeheartedly though in some cases there are causes of separation but as long as you can fix things up why not give a try so the relationship will work out. You will never know someone's personality if you are not living under the same roof everyday you will discover something new it can be good or bad. We are humans we have our moods, we cannot lost our feelings if we truly love our partner. happy mylotting

it is advisable to tolerate the other person for the sake of children. for me no problems. it is all a question of tolerance. also luck.

I think it is weird you just find out about bad habits of your partner after you married. Maybe you then jujst rushed into it? In my opinion people get split up to fast. It is made to easy for them to split up. You can almost get a divorce as easy as getting take-away food at McDonalds. I think if you get married, you will try EVERYTHING to make it work. You promised to love eachother and take care of eachother in good days and bad. Sometimes the bad days are taking long, longer, longest but even then, Fight for your marriage. You should marry for all the right reasons and if they are the right reasons you should try to make it work, even if it is hard. If you don't love your partner anymore, try getting away a few days, you will then know what you will miss about your partner. Talk, talk, talk, if your partner does something you don't like, tell him. Especially men are known not to get the females'little hints. Even hints that seam clear for us women, are gibberish for men. They just need to hear exactly what the problem is and I am sure he will try to make it better. Before breaking up try counceling, a romantic outing, try writing eachother a love note, anything to make thing a little better. You should not stay together for the kids if thing don't work out even after trying everything to make it work. I think it is more healthy for children to grow up in a loving home, even if the parents are split up then to live in a home where fighting is part of a daily routine. Think before you marry and fight for it!

It happens to almost every married life. That is why it is very important to be mature enough to be married to know how to accept each others fault. If not, even very trivial and worthless problems can seem really great. And if it happens again and again and a couple doesn't know or learn to compromise how the resolve it, then the real problems starts which eventually, either or both will lose affection leading to a parting relationship. As per my opinion, there is just no use living together when love just isn't there anymore. The relationship will then lack the very essential part which is to be happy together. It is sad. But then each one who wants to start a family should also learn from others to get them more ready to face the responsibilities and problems challenging each couple everyday.

Since we don't/can't have any children, I can't say on their behalf however, I can give you my opinion on the situation which is, depending on how bad the situation is is whether or not I'd stay with my spouse. If we're constantly bickering and fighting each other then no, I wouldn't stay with him however, if we're able to come to some compromise and peace with each other then yes, I might stay with him for the sake of the kids because the kids need both of their parents in their lives as long as it's a peaceful one.

Hi Bannybanzie, The main reason for sufferings in relationship is expectations. Though expecting is common, it is not always 100% in any relationships. So if we ready to accept the person for what he is and as long as how true the love is with no expectations, am sure any relationship can find their best way. I feel marriage is real worth as long as we are matured to understand others mentality and adapt to it.

I was married once before, and no matter what I did it was useless. Unless both are willing to change things and or fix things sometimes it is difficult to recapture the love. I do live with my boyfriend now for almost 7 years and to date all has been going wonderfully well. I will say he is always willing to meet me half way so I can see where the both of us would work at trying to fix a situation if it were to happen. Though it is hard to say unless one is really in the situation and or what the problems really are. But mostly importantly both have to want to fix, it will not work on one side only.

hi, as days goes by,that kind of situation and scenario are now normal in once human life,sometimes the personality of a person changes as they grow old,and even the mind on how they think individually,for me there are many reason why some couple have misunderstanding to each other,and may as you said they will just stay to each other for the sake of their children and family.

Hello Banny, This is fact when couple get married every thing seems to be happy but after 1~2 months sometimes things get bad for them because of their personal ego conflicts become more prominent in life. I say it because i am married from last 7 years mine was arranged marriage as this common as per INDIAN culture and really first 1~2 months were hell as we used to fight with each other as we were not aware with each others habit and our personal ego was on priority for us but then we realized & both of us changed ourself and tried to compromise things and things started getting better so now we have been a happy couple since 7 years. I will stay with my kids for them as i know they need both mother & father.What is their fault if their parents fight why should they be given the punishment??