How to make him miss me as much as I miss him ... and to make him wait for me?
By gengeni
@gengeni (3308)
Indonesia
July 21, 2011 12:45am CST
I have fallen head over heels for my colleague who I have been working with for a year. HE is WONDERFUL - smart, inteligence and has that smile that makes EVERY woman melt (tell me about it - I've had some scares jealousy - but never let them show, hey!) We became close friends very quickly and started seeing each other , too. However, he has only recently started displaying signs of affection, and now that we are on a one year rotation abroad, I am afraid they're not strong enough for us to get back together next year.
I've tried to keep in touch via e-mail messages on facebook - but our correspondence only lasted for about three weeks. I do not want to put a massive pressure on him and scare him away either, so I have let it be and we've had some chat convos on facebook too. BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH - I feel that he does not make an effort to keep in touch after all we've gone through - and does not really care about me like he used to. The birthday text he sent me was very dry and smply said "happy bday" ... with no further questions like "how are you or how was your day ... or thinking of you".
So how can I get him interested again? He said from the start that he was not looking for a relationship, but even friends can keep in touch, am I right? And after all, he was changing his mind about it by the end of the year.
2 people like this
6 responses
@jdex_143 (1093)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Hi, there!
You should have talked about your status before you part ways. It's really hard to be in that situation when you don't know if the other party feels the same way as you do and the worst part, you're far away from each other.
If I were you, I would directly say to him what I think I felt for him and ask him if he feels the same way too.. I know it's a hard thing to do but I'll risk rather than keep hoping for that person when you don't have an idea what he felt for you. If he doesn't feel the same way, then be it. You have to continue living your life and move on to the next chapter. If he does, well, make the best out of it.
Good luck and happy mylotting! :)
@kajal1992 (354)
• India
21 Jul 11
i read all the comments above and everyone's opinion are right. yes there may be many cause.He may be busy and can't sort out some time from his work, or as you mentioned at the end of the year his view about you had changed, may be due to this he is feeling guilty that he wanted to see you as a friend but his view changed. and yes it may be also the cause that he can't express his feelings to you. it doesn't mean that he don't miss or remember you. And did you ever try to share your feelings with him? try to get connect with him ask him, know him about his present condition if still he ignore you then only think about the line you mentioned in your question.
have a good day
@ellebj (784)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
gengeni, i want to ask you? before you part for rotation, have you talked about your feelings and the status of your relationship? maybe he is just busy that he cannot connect with you often.. it is really hard to have someone miss.. you won't know it unless you know who are you in his life.. it is either he doesn't miss you or he does miss you but he don't have time..
also, as what i have perceive in your lines, you want more from him.. and as much as i can understand it, you are like acting that you are his girlfriend.. it is really difficult to have that kind of relationship..try to connect with him on the net and talk it over... by that you would know..
@rifnee (1713)
• Indonesia
21 Jul 11
Gengeni my dear, there is no way to miss someone. He either did not or he does not. When he's not in touch with you as you keep it to have, there is not much hope for even a friendship. I know that is hard to accept, especially if you have more feelings for him. But since you are far away from him now in any case is all what you can, try to contact him to see on a regular basis and if and how he reacts. Oh, and wait, of course. And be patient.
To be honest I do not see much of a chance for you. He has already stated that he did not want a relationship. And you obviously do not want just another friend. Sure, a person can change his mind, but to change his mind, you have to be around. The Internet can not help you. Take it from someone who had some experience in this matter. Been there, done that, got the broken heart to prove it.
I wish you all the luck in the world that when you finally see him again, he will look at you and he will not only see a friend in you. And if not: Well, I know it sounds a little corny, but there are many other fish in the sea.
@isloooboy (1733)
• United Arab Emirates
21 Jul 11
Well I have not that much experience but I think, If I like someone and feel very deep inside about her I will diffidently show my feelings to her instead of waiting any sign or gesture from her. If she told me in the starting about our relationship which will be nothing more than an friendship only even than if I have something in my mind or in my heart I will expose in front of her without any hesitation because good people are very rare in this wold so why I loose my chance to make her mine. Cheers
@zerd87 (301)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
Maybe he's with another girl. Just a guess lol. For me as a guy I keep in touch with the girl I'm interested. Just dont put all your heart in it, there's always right guy for you that will always care and fb you. just keep in touch with him as a friend and don't push yourself to him. Make him pull you up so that you see the real thing. :-)
