When two MYLOTTIAN fights???

@sjvg1976 (41290)
Delhi, India
July 21, 2011 2:38am CST
Hello MYLOTTERS, When i see two MYLOTTERS fighting with each other for not agreeing at same point i feel bad as MYLOT site is for dicussion not for fighting and its obvious that there can be difference of opinions then why to fight??If i would be having it i would try to resolve it and if could not do so i will leave the discussion politely.What about you??? In offline life if i see 2 of my friends fighting with each other i normally come in between them and try to resolve their issues.But when online i don't understand how to resolve it because in offline life its easier as you are there at the moment and matter can be resolved much easier than in online life.What do you feel??? Have your ever tried to resolve issues between 2 MYLOTTERS when there is heated arguments among them?? Do you feel it easier than your normal offline life???Have you ever been in such situation when someone tried to resolve issue??
8 people like this
32 responses
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
hello sjvg, Since we came from different countries there are language barrier and humors sometimes some members forgot to bring their manners here I've experienced once when a Vets accused me for the things I did not do she assumed that I am pertaining to her it's really funny hahaha....But day passed and the issue was gone. Debates here are one of the spice it depends who will you take it. happy mylotting
3 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
debate oh yeah.. how about proposal?
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
21 Jul 11
Hello Bhaby, That should be the way to deal with these issues as we are like family and we should forget what happened in the past and should move on as if nothing has happened. But its really some people don't understand that every person just cannot think or act what they accept from them. Its a normal thing people do have their own minds and they have their own style to do things.
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
@ jaiho, NOT HERE I prefer personal proposal @ sjvg,
1 person likes this
@SynDash (133)
• Lithuania
21 Jul 11
Okay, look. Not everyone here *are* friends. And you don't like everyone in here, let's be honest. If the person you don't like for any reason tries to act like a smart***, you will pick on them and then you'll have a fight.
2 people like this
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
If the person is always in mind is to retaliate and give some reasons in something in the discussion or comments for sure fight should be next. But if we are open mind and we have broad minded not fighting instead smooth conversation. But as I said in other comments if we are open mind person even not yet friends you will think first why this guy comments like that, instead of harhs retaliation..
2 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
21 Jul 11
@ Syndash, Its not the point of being friend or not its really the response which bothers you then you will have an arguement otherwise all in MYLOT family is like friend for me. @ Visavis, People should be broad minded enough when they are in to the discussion site like MYLOT otherwise they are not fit to be here.
2 people like this
@manleyjoe (1597)
• United States
22 Jul 11
But if everyone is "broadminded" then we all should think alike. Not me I love to play devil's advocate and get people to think for themselves not just agree with what the topic started said.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
If 2 members here fights for something due to different opinions, they just show immaturity. In the first place, we have to consider that you cannot please anyone to believe or agree with your opinion. Why fight? It is useless. If they continue to do so, then they are both immature. If one concedes, that does not mean that you are giving up. It is just one way of respecting the other's opinion. Same thing, I would rather ignore the discussion.
2 people like this
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
@sjvg1976, precisely my dear. It is just a matter of respect. @manleyjoe, oh yes, that's another factor. I remember an incident here. That member misunderstood my response for being rude, which I did not intend to. Anyways, I just concede and decided not to reply to the response because it might lead to anything.
1 person likes this
@manleyjoe (1597)
• United States
22 Jul 11
Or there was a misunderstanding of language barrier. I had this happen to me, I made comment on a topic and discovered that I did not understand what the writer was saying because of language difference. and did I ever get the business from a couple of people accusing me of being mean to this person.
3 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
21 Jul 11
hello maean, People should be that much mature that they should respect others opinion. Its not the case that if someone leaves from the discussion hurting by your comments that does not mean that he has given up though he is mature enough and understand the values of other's thoughts.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
I guess i know what do you mean here dear :) I always try to defend my view in a cool manner. When i think and i feel that i have the need to express my opinion,i will. But...i never ever say anything bad or write any bad words against anyone. We can always debate/argue here without hurting each other (no foul words please) that's the rule..and that's the game in mylot. Without argument,there is no fun. And we can have fun without cursing anyone.
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
I did encounter such situation in here when one mylotter tried to annoy me. Actually until now that mylotter is stalking me,and giving sub-comment to my responses. I just try to be civil with that mylotter,i won't let that mylotter spoil my day anyway. I haven't encountered two mylotter having fight and i come in between.
2 people like this
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
@ jaiho, I thought stalkers with capital S
3 people like this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
21 Jul 11
Hello Jaiho, Thats the spirit and we should have the freedom to express ourself as this is the discussion site.But should take care that we don't hurt any one by our words. But have you ever been in situation when some tried to make you angry with his/her words. Have you ever tried to resolve issues when you have seen 2 MYLOTTERS exchanging bad words??
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 11
Hi sjvg! It is good to have opposite views but not till it get worst. It depends on the topic itself. Most mylotters just have a deep fight in topics like religion and politics as some will have strong arguments about the opposite and they have their own stand and views. If you can be the middle person and would like to solve the conflict you may give a hand to them. I have seen such issues several times before but refused to help them settle the problems as me myself too have the opposite views with the starter opinion. I don't want to be another person who bring out another flame to the discussion. In fact most of the time I have different point of views and disagree with others. I don't like to just say yes to everything they said but still try to avoid flames between muylotters.It is indeed more difficult to solve them online than offline.(^^)
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
23 Jul 11
I like when I meet the opposite opinion because it will make me think more why I should stand and defend my own views. Otherwise we will always think that we are right and others are always wrong.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
23 Jul 11
Hello CTHanum, Exactly its difficult to resolve it online than offline. People sometime don't have mature mind and they just offend person who go against them but it should not happen because till you don't have someone who oppose your views you cannot have a better discussion and you can't have a best solution or conclusion.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
24 Jul 11
Hello CT, Its always good to have difference in opinions to make it more interesting.We should always have a great discussion once we have people having both the views( against and favor)otherwise there will be no meaning of discussing any point.
1 person likes this
@isloooboy (1733)
• United Arab Emirates
21 Jul 11
I never witnessed any fight or maybe I dont count tight discussions in fight. I think questioning and arguing is not the fight but its a fun way to learn. Maybe some one think I am not up to the level in my replies but being a student who is learning right now I wish people forgive me if they feel anything bad about me. Yes in real life I try to solve problems of my friends and I am trying to help my friends online as well. Also I want to understand first, what will fall in fighting category?
1 person likes this
@isloooboy (1733)
• United Arab Emirates
21 Jul 11
Thanks God there is no chance of physical fight otherwise every day my head maybe broken by someone :D the way I ask silly questions :D
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
22 Jul 11
Oh its not only your head mine head also would have been broken then.
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
21 Jul 11
Hello isloooboy, Question & arguing are the part of discussion till one don't use high words,abuse you or curse you. Fighting online means exchange of heated words which may hurt you or someone else as we cannot physically fight online.
1 person likes this
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
21 Aug 11
Very good discussion!! I usually dont come back to a discussion unless someone responds to me specifically. I have seen a few people getting pretty mean with one another. And I have to say I am glad that I am not friends offline with them. I dont usually keep people in my life that prefer to fight with me about things that I think or believe. Because then we dont have much in common right. I like to take others thoughts into consideration, unless of course its just plain mean and out of line.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
3 Oct 11
Hello Lady, We should not get involve ourself in such arguements but try to leave it in a polite way.I also have seen people being rude to each other which they should not at least on the social sites.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
21 Jul 11
I actually don't see too much actual fighting going on here. Sometimes the differences do get a bit heated and especially on controversial issues. I think that it is interesting to hear both sides of the issue.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
22 Jul 11
Oh yes! It is way to easy to get caught up in the crossfire.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
22 Jul 11
hahaha its better to see them rather getting involved in it.
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
24 Jul 11
Yes to get involved in heated discussion is burning your hands.
• United States
25 Jul 11
I personally avoid confrontation at all costs. I do the best I can. I hate to fight. I will if I have to, but I don't actually care for. I have had to fight a few times. Fighting isn't always physical though. Heated debates can be interesting as long as there is not abuse involved. It's okay to disagree. Just keep it clean. Each has their own opinion and should be entitled to do so. No one person should have to succumb to the preferences of another to be accepted or appreciated as an individual.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
27 Jul 11
Hello writtergirl, There should always be a freedom to speak up thats the way a discussion can be made healthy.
@allknowing (137781)
• India
22 Jul 11
I hardly see anyone diffusing a situation but quite to the contrary I think. Atleast I have had that experience when I was wrongly accused of something that I had not done when there was someone who I thought was my friend added fuel to fire. Ofcourse that discussion was deleted for obvious reasons.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (137781)
• India
23 Jul 11
I was a silent spectator sjvg! And it was not the 'mature MYLOTTER' who reported it!
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
23 Jul 11
Hello Allknowing, May be some mature MYLOTTER may have reported that discussion thats why that would have been deleted. But we should always try to stay away from fights on social sites.
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
24 Jul 11
Some times silent spectator also suffers for the things which others do.
• United States
21 Jul 11
Hi sjvg, I have seen only a few heated arguments but not from members that are friends and or listed friends. It is not the same to help and break up a heated argument online like it is offline. When we are face to face one can ease the parties involved offline at times. Here it is best to either PM a friend and provide some helpful advice as oppose to try and get involved. I mean we could easily enter the discussion but we really have no control as to what they are going to say next. We can't see actual emotions like we do offline. As you know heated arguments are not allowed. Healthy debates and heated arguments are two separate issues. Usually Admin will find instances like this and will break up the situation. I have seen Admin numerous times tell all parties to slow down and stop. If one values their membership they will stop if not then I guess they risk their membership here. I agree it would be easier to offline because one can explain and hope they allow us to without interruption. But online we can't control the comments.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 11
Yes I agree because sometime trying to help out online during a discussion we cannot see their reaction and re-explain if they misunderstand and then we are left in the middle and they get offended.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
24 Jul 11
Hello HWG, Thats why i said its always tough to resolve these issues online than offline.
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
22 Jul 11
hello HWG, I also find it difficult when find in this situation online as you never who the person is unlike offline where you can have face to face talks. Its right to make them understand it though PMs as i know sometimes when you try to get to resolve it you also get involved in the arguments. Its always better to leave it to admin let him decide how to resolve it.
@aeiou78 (3445)
• Malaysia
25 Jul 11
Whenever there is a argument in mylot, I don't think as third party should join in. When a third party joins in the argument, the situation will become worse whereby more people will involve in it too. I did have the same experience many times. When I told my opinion against certain discussion, I were strongly disagreed and warned for not responding to the discussion. ha! ha! From here I learned a lot about the ways to deal with different types of people. I think those people never understand the main purpose of having discussion. In our discussion, we do want different of feedback from all of the people so that, we can find out the way they think about. I hope these people are clear about it.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
27 Jul 11
Hello aeiou, People really should get mature and should be more open minded to understand things more better.
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
At my best capacity I do to resolve any dispute in the discussion. But I think it is normal in a big family or group. Like in the real family sometimes gap to each other are happening but days come will okay again. Much more here, because we have midiator here (admin) if the dispute are soo severe, they coming up in between. But we have duty to try our best to resolve it..
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
23 Jul 11
But due to our different orientation and attitude sometime we forget the arguments but some are keep in their mind and heart and always looking for retaliation. Admin should be always around if the situation arises.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
23 Jul 11
Admin don't every time see it sometimes we have to report it admin to look after the situation.
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
21 Jul 11
Hello Visavis, We should always leave all these matters up to admin as he is the biggest on MYLOT and he has the rights to teach a lesson to the faulties. It a normal behavior also it happens sometimes in real life also we do have big arguements but the thing is we should have the capacity to forget these and go ahead in life to avoid further bitterness.
• Indonesia
27 Jul 11
hi sjvg1976, for this case I will look the situation first.If I'm involve in discussion, I think I'll try to resolve the problem, but if I'm not yet in discussion, it's seems weird for me to resolve that fight, I'd better leave it because I'm not sure with what I'm going to do. once in mylot I found discussion that I post by person who said he's son of mylot founder, you can call him "A", then "A" made statement to ask all mylotters block someone who is annoying him.then someone give him response, call her "B" that he can't block person in mylot even asking to mylot admin with no clear reason, also asking why he asking to block person.then discussion continue with fight.In my view "B" tell what is right and "A" sounds like crazy and powerfull.discussion ended with "A" said that he will ask his father to block "B" too."B" left discussion with anger ( I can see from her statement ).other mylotters response has similar chase with "B".. that's the most freak discussion in mylot, and I don't know what to do that time ( I'm still very newbie ), I just leave it...
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
10 Aug 11
yah, that's true.In that case, I'm very appreciate B for her bravery and strong opinion, even in the end she was gone because didn't get the point with the A.remembering that, it's very complicated
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
3 Oct 11
Hello Redvakaurvaki, I wont call it as bravery its a natural and all people should have the freedom to speak at least.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
23 Jul 11
When two users fight here, then it is mostly because one turns very rude and the other was unable to take the rudeness anymore. Nevertheless whenever they start throwing trash on each other I don't think it is my business to resolve the issue between them unless both of them are very close to me. But if not, I just leave them alone for anyway, the Admin will later just delete their offensive posts.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
23 Jul 11
Hello salonga, Its always a better move to report it to admin and let admin do his job to think how to resolve it.
• Malaysia
22 Jul 11
Hi, i cant help myself to give my point of view of your posts. I dont like to argue and i have also come across a self centered lotters and those who is not aware that some words have double meaning and sometimes what is written does not mean literally it is. Like if we send an sms, the message send is not what is written. I one time did post a statement, let me quote what i posted " and the spare time you can do your own things" what i actually mean was "do what you like/prefer", sadly someone must have understand that what i said was obscene and my post was taken out. If the person read carefully the letter 's' inserted in the word "things" explained many and not a single thing. By the way if i come across an arguement i just leave and go to others who are in sound mind.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
23 Jul 11
Hello acrossnation, Yeah its better to leave those discussions. Yes sometimes language become a reason as what we wrote is read by someone and taken some different meaning which may sometimes causes argument. The best thing we can do is to say politely to the fellow MYLOTTER the actual meaning of your post.
• Philippines
23 Jul 11
I'm not into the same situation because if I've read some comments that don't agree with me I just ignore and respect it. We are different people with different point of view so we better respect each other's opinion. This is not a right place to debate over something, it's better to share good discussion with other so they can learn and we can learn too.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
24 Jul 11
Hello abatencila, Thats not good you should put your response too thats make the discussion more good but to respect others opinion is good and you should always follow it in OFFLINE as ONLINE life.
• Poland
24 Jul 11
All the people can not think same because we have come from different countries and we respose to some metter is different. But it's natural .if two people are fighting on the same issue then they are thinking according to their sense so try to stop fight
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
27 Jul 11
Hello tayya, Welcome to MYLOT, Its true that 2 people cannot think alike and there will always be a difference of opinion but we should try to respect other's opinion then only we can avoid fight here or in offline life also.
@ankitbhat (269)
• India
23 Jul 11
fighting will never help here beacuse at the end of the day we are all siting behing the computer screens and cant beat eachother .....its better to resolve your problem peacefully or just give it a break .......i mean just dont discuss over it again as simple as that
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
23 Jul 11
Hello ankit, Welcome to MYLOT. Peace is always better there is no other ways you can solve the issues.Its a discussion sight so we people need to have mature mind and should respect each others opinion as its never happen that people will always agree to you points they can have their views also which may not match yours.
• Poland
24 Jul 11
Yep,there was a time in my offline life i got my friends fighting . . I went between them in order to resolved the fight. But unfortunetly i recieved a hard beat from one of them which i didnt recognised. . So resolving fight in offline life is also hard sometimes brother .
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
26 Jul 11
Hello Saifullahim, Welcome to MYLOT. hahaha sometimes it becomes like you experienced it people promises that from next time they won't interrupt in between 2 people if they are fighting.