up to what point you will support your sister?

hi jane, I understand your feelings I have friend with the similar situation It came to the point that she was pissed off because it was her only her all the time her sister is being inconsiderate on her situation. Better talk to her personally before everything will be worst She must understand your feelings and situation Besides you are sister you and her must give and take happy mylotting

You don't say how long the sister has been married or how long they both have lived with you...but I am going to make a presumption that it's been a while. First you need to sit them both down for a talk...yeah, THE TALK. Point out that you have supported your sister with no complaint for nearly 4 years, that you understood her situation, but now that situation has changed. It's time for some things to change for you also... That if they wish to continue to share housing with you, they will also have to share expenses, that her children are her responsibility and that while you don't mind them going places with you from time to time, it can not be every time you leave the house, that your daughter is entitled to a bit of reciprocation on her part when she leaves the house and you are entitled to the break such an action would bring you. Then place it firmly on the table that if these conditions can not be met, they will have to seek other forms of housing for their entire family. If a yelling match begins, simply state that they have a certain time frame to remove themselves from your home, where YOU pay the bills and supply the food, and walk away. Your sister will either get over being mad or she won't, the one thing she can't take away is that she will always be your sister.

I am in this same situation. It is not about financial matter. But i did supported her to the extent of her crazy things and even defended her to our brothers who almost cursed her for her foolishness. But in the end,she take it badly and pointed fingers on me. This really gives me desperate moves and i am not sure where this misundersatnding could lead us. I hope they will find some consideration in their hearts. I wonder why some people say..it is better to live and love other people than their own family...now slowly i could understand why some people say such words... i hope you and your sister will settle everything in good and civil manner.

Some people understand with out telling anything ,some do not even understand if we say something. I do not think that you are a bad sister,you looked after them in their hard times so now there is option that she had tried to begin her second life,so now she will have to move with her kids to her husband.She should understand your problems as ur business is not good right now and if possible should help u . However people are so they forget what we do or did in the past .I know such incidents many .I learnt many times lesson also,I am trying to be careful now .Help but do not help out of ur limits.

For what you said, I don't think you and your sister have a really open relationship, because if this situation happened to me and my family, me or my sister would totally tell to the other to share the bills. Also, I think that we would feel really bad to live in the other's house without helping on anything. In my opinion, you need to have a serious conversation with your sister and talk straight to her about the situation. That she living in your house, so, the least that she can do is help on the bills. If she don't accept, you should tell her to find other place to live. Or if you really want that she move out, make this suggestion to her. For what you said, is better to make this suggestion very clear to her understand that you still like her, but she need to give a home for their kids otherwise one day they will not feel good too with this situation.

I will support my sister up to which point that she can afford to live on her own. I don't think that you are going to be a bad sister for asking them to move, since it is not going to be forever that you have to keep supporting them when she can already afford and that she is already married any way. I could see that she is not being grateful despite all that you did for her even just by helping you with the house expenses. I scares me to think that if you keep tolerating her, what if the time comes that you could hardly afford a lot of things because your supporting till she wants to. Because I think you also need to save some extra money for you and your daughter's future? Do you think that for what she is showing now she will be able to help you when you are the one already in need? I would really hope she would. She also needs to be independent from you so will also learn how difficult living is and that she will also learn to realized how great your help was that she seemed to take it for granted. Just talk to her and tell her that you could hardly afford it anymore. If she does not agree and understand, then I guess she really is that selfish. And that you cannot forever hold her own responsibilities for her children because that is her and her husband's responsibility now.

For me yes you can do that now because it is not responsibility at all she found a husband to be but make a speak that she can understand you for the reason.

in my opinion janebernal, its really unfair. She has to consider your situation and manage to help you maybe in her little way. nowaday, everything is so expensive and nothing is for free.