How long should you wait for marriage?
By Maryr817
@Maryr817 (58)
United States
July 21, 2011 1:46pm CST
Just curious to know how long would you be in a relationship before getting married? If your mate isn't ready after that time would you stay or leave?
4 responses
@drasnian (548)
•
25 Jul 11
My partner and I have been together nearly 3 years, and are planning to get engaged within the next 6 months-1 year.
It'll likely be quite a while until we can afford to get married though, since we're both very broke 
I don't think there's an amount of time that I would be willing to wait/not willing to wait. Getting engaged (and then married) just feels like the next logical step in our relationship, I didn't go into the relationship thinking "If we aren't married within x years I'll have to leave/argue about it" etc etc.
I think when one person wants to get married and the other doesn't, it CAN be a relationship deal-breaker, but I don't think it always is.
If, for example, your partner is very anti-religious and doesn't want to get married for that reason, it's something the two of you would need to discuss. If your partner objects to paying the average £20 000 for a single day, you'd need to decide which was more important to you - the wedding or the relationship. If, on the other hand, your partner just didn't want to get married because he didn't want to commit/wanted to act single, that's an entirely different matter and probably would ruin a relationship.
I think every situation is different, and it's hard to comment, but I know my partner does love me etc, and if he turned around in a few months time and said "I'm really not comfortable spending £20 000 for a wedding" we'd negotiate, but we'd get through it. We'd maybe have a private ceremony on holiday or something, but I certainly wouldn't be leaving.
I don't think there's an amount of time that I would be willing to wait/not willing to wait. Getting engaged (and then married) just feels like the next logical step in our relationship, I didn't go into the relationship thinking "If we aren't married within x years I'll have to leave/argue about it" etc etc.
I think when one person wants to get married and the other doesn't, it CAN be a relationship deal-breaker, but I don't think it always is.
If, for example, your partner is very anti-religious and doesn't want to get married for that reason, it's something the two of you would need to discuss. If your partner objects to paying the average £20 000 for a single day, you'd need to decide which was more important to you - the wedding or the relationship. If, on the other hand, your partner just didn't want to get married because he didn't want to commit/wanted to act single, that's an entirely different matter and probably would ruin a relationship.
I think every situation is different, and it's hard to comment, but I know my partner does love me etc, and if he turned around in a few months time and said "I'm really not comfortable spending £20 000 for a wedding" we'd negotiate, but we'd get through it. We'd maybe have a private ceremony on holiday or something, but I certainly wouldn't be leaving.
@Manojknair (603)
• India
22 Jul 11
Its not about your mate is ready or not...Its all how mature are you and how financial sound you guys are to support your married life. Then only you need to think about whether you and your partner are ready to enter a married life. Else it will be just like inviting trouble.
@ellovire (409)
•
21 Jul 11
Lovers not on the same page can really be very tough. One is ready to get married, the other is not. Better have an open communication first. Tell your partner that you are ready to get married. If he/she is not yet ready, ask why. Maybe he/she has a valid reason. Then decide from there.
@mindym (978)
• United States
21 Jul 11
I think it depends on the strength and length of the relationship if I was going to stay or go. I would like to be together with the person for at least 1 year, and then engaged for about a year, but I do know that I am not getting any younger, so that might not be what I get. Since I was a little girl, I have always dreamed of getting married, but I know that things have changed in that many people are choosing to not get married, but to live together and have families. I do have to say that I will not settle any less than what I deserve, so I will hopefully find someone that I can spend my life with, and once I do, time will tell whether we will get married or 'just together'.
