she invalidates even if it's valid?!
By katzar0712
@katzar0712 (324)
Philippines
July 22, 2011 1:24am CST
have you ever encountered an invalidator? in the workplace?
an invalidator is someone who sizes you up all the time, they are expects in criticizing you. they steal away your dreams. they are toxic persons who are unhappy when you are happy. ;(
i used to pride myself for having the virtue of patience.
one online personality test even showed that i am a calm person.
i guess, most people have misinterpreted my patience with submissiveness.
so, there is this person.
same old lady who makes it a habit of ruining my day just by dropping "unwanted" remarks here and there.
i say, "this looks nice!"
she says, "i don't think so!!"
i say, "i want to try this..."
she says, "you will definitely fail..."
i ask, "what do you think of this one?"
she answers, "you don't know this?"
whaaat!? i bit my life to keep my cool but it doesn't work all of the time.
i just want to strike back. but being the meek person that i am, i know i cannot pull off that stunt. me? never! i can always fake a smile though (this works all the time).
why do we have this kind of persons in our life?
and why do i feel like i am being targeted by them?
5 responses
@naija4real (1291)
•
22 Jul 11
I have come across persons who symbolises negativity. They are never happy when I am happy. I think they are always represent the opposite of anything that I stood for.
1 person likes this
@katzar0712 (324)
• Philippines
23 Jul 11
hi naija4real
how are you?
it's a pity when i see people like them. no matter how much effort we do to please them they would always bring us down. it seems that is their second nature, to belittle the people around them. i can't help getting offended because i am not doing anything wrong to them... but i guess that is the price of being submissive...
@tryurbest (115)
• China
22 Jul 11
I have ever met such persons like this before. They could not accept your any virtues. Most of the time,I got very angry,even shouting at him. Actually,the proper way to solve this problem is to have no word or less word with him/her. Do what you think it is right. When you have prvoed you can or you are right. They will have to shut up. At the same time,establishing good relationship with other colleagues can prevent you from the criticizing too.
@katzar0712 (324)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
thanks for the response (btw, cute dog :))
these instances of invalidating happens all the time. sometimes it gets the better of me and i just want to strike back but i know that it will not fix anything. it will only worsen the situation.
although, silently im wishing that she gets the message that she is offending me with her remarks. i don't know how much more i can tolerate.
@CTHanum (8233)
• Malaysia
23 Jul 11
Hi Katzar!
It is good that at least you try to get along with them and yes you are indeed a good person as you keep calm and not striking them back. I used to with people who just care about themselves. They like to talk big and always say words like 'Do I care??'For me that is a rude words as it means that they can't accept other opinion but them only. Even if you give opinion to them they will simply reject it and they can be just like the old lady you mentioned above. Soft-hearted people always the target because they know that type of people can't bear with it and they have fun to see it. Most of the time whenever I met like that I tend to strike them back because they should know how to respect others like how they want others to respect the back.(^^)
@bouncybug (614)
• South Africa
23 Jul 11
I think that all of us have people like this in our lives, unfortunately! I have also met people who seem to just disagree with me no matter what it is that I say - it definitely seems as if they are just trying to be difficult, even if they MUST know that what I am saying is perfectly true! The only thing that you can do in this situation is exactly what you say - just keep cool and smile and don't let it get to you, as hard as that is sometimes!
