I knew this would happen someday. Why was I so shocked?
By gengeni
@gengeni (3308)
Indonesia
July 23, 2011 10:24pm CST
Last night I got my first boyfriend and his sister, I still see them sometimes and have no problem with it, hit. He had then raped me after 1 1 / 2 years into our relationship. I had been ill at the time and had taken a drug that's also tired. I could not defend properly and did after a quarter of an hour I just could not give up. At that time I had driven very fast. (According to my psychologist, I'm good to bad to push matters. Then we were one month long nor regularly. Then do not. Perhaps because he knew he had done something wrong I thought. After five months we will no longer had made. Did I make final and got to know someone else. With him is now 2years after the end also, but I do not understand well with him, he is almost like a brother. I've talked about it with my psychologist and everything and thought I would it packed to the process, etc. But yesterday I met my 1st friend back in town with his sister. I had not recognized him at first, he has changed a lot, but only his sister and went to her. greeted her and then realized before him. I was immediately worried. greeted him briefly and then said goodbye. I'm drinking from my glass and into the nearest pub. I have nothing more then drunk. And then he dives into the pub to come over to me and asks me if I had finished my studies even though he knows from his sister that I had to cancel it because of depression. I told him I did not want to talk to him. He went in a different corner of the pub. I'm on the toilet and then got my first one half an hour of crying my other ex was in the pub and knows everything it knows about, but not well. Only later did it and I also had to stop to do anything stupid. I could not really sleep that night ever again be spiteful grin in front of the eyes and I constantly fear attacks. I will not return to the psychologist it is running again halfway in my life. Why I had an anxiety / panic but I've been through everything with my psychologist.
And please do not come to me to show him yet or should have reported him. I had repressed it and now there is no proof.
Thank you ever here that everything that you ever read.
3 people like this
3 responses
@dayangsumbi2010 (1724)
• Indonesia
24 Jul 11
Yes, you have not been processed. This is not in such a short time. In your place I would just say to him the opinion and let the anger out.
"FRAG not so stupid, my studies, I'm not over you you ***** made ready, because I'm in therapy raped since you have me!" and does it really loud that everyone can hear it in the pub.
Now there is no more proof that they all say. In truth, they do not want it to express themselves and not the place. In truth, you feel ashamed and give yourself to blame. Otherwise you'd be angry and not a bunch of misery.
Let the anger and tell everyone what he has done. What he has done with your life. Be angry!
And then you can begin to process, you can forgive him irgndwann and then you can re-interpret it positively and continue to live happy. How it works and that's a long way.
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
25 Jul 11
ok, maybe this is a difficult thing for me to do, but honestly, my anger is beyond. As a woman you might even feel for what I feel. Maybe for some people it is easy to give advice but not to become the object of the problem.
I think your suggestion is quite interesting
@rifnee (1713)
• Indonesia
24 Jul 11
Hello,
traumatic events, even if they are "processed", can always be (thrown) triggered!
Conversations that you've done it have helped you understand your emotional state at the time and cope better with the former being able to feelings.
From personal experience I know that even music, or smells, looks or voices can trigger memories of something that dates back many years.
Maybe you could work it into your panic react otherwise, for the next time I suggest you so fast it is possible for you to move to another city and go to a quiet place where you feel safe: in your own apartment and there with a familiar call people when you want to be alone - otherwise prefer to call the restaurant a friend and go to her.
1 person likes this
@naija4real (1291)
•
24 Jul 11
gengeni, I do not understand your discussion very clearly. I think there are a lot of international audience in mylot and when you present your point in mylot forum try your best to summarise it and try to make it very clear especially the areas you need an answer. Many people are unable to contribute to this discussion because your points are too detail but lack a clarity. Have a nice day!
