Can I send the letter?

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we were 4 months along, I broke up. He does not understand. And wanted to write this letter. Is that good or should I let it.? as you can read from the text, I'm probably a problem with me and my life. But I did not want to hurt him and would rather be happy now if you give me a yes or no to the question "Can I send the letter" could be. Love you now schonmal. The letter Dear .. I am writing you because you are really very important to me. I hope you know that this letter will change anything, I just hope that you're unhappy, not long after that, that would be the last thing I want. earlier it was only my mother and me. and my grandparents. They were by my side every day, many times they have replaced my father to me. They meant everything to me. I loved her, they loved me. When I was four years old, came to my stepfather. I've learned to share the love of my mother with him. Two years later my brother came to the world. From then on, so I had to share with him. My grandparents came more and more into the background, because now we were a family. Still, I felt as a black sheep of the family. Best friends I had left, after some time. Two years ago my grandma died, it seems to me every day as if it were yesterday. What I'm trying to say .. I've always had the feeling of losing someone important. Father, mother, grandparents, friends and grandma. So are many, it happens to everybody, because it is crazy that I feel like I know. everyone says I should leave this idea to ignore. But I can not do it as often as I also tried it. So I try to be liked, to be well liked. But as soon as it is more than I know, I'll retire. So I hope you can believe me when I say - it's not up to you! You're wonderful. I never wanted to hurt you one way or break your heart. I hope it heals quickly and is soon well again. I wish you the best - the best! You have so much love, so you want to give to someone who knows how to appreciate it better. I can not so much as I wanted. But since I'm probably a loner.