How long should an engagement last?

Why did he ask if he had His mind made up?!I think you are correct, it should be at least a year if there is a huge wedding to plan. If you want a small wedding, then about 6 months is long enough. But All of this is mute if this guy Can not Hear you when you say no! So Unless you Want to marry him in 5 years , try and I mean Try to tell him not to buy a ring!If a guy asked me to marry and I said no , and then he said We Are engaged, I would just walk away. He Isn't listening to me so it would be Over. But that's me. All I can say is follow your heart. There is no set time. It all depends on what you want and When you want it.

First off...I would NOT even consider marrying a man who ignored the word NO!!! Sounds as if he's a control freak & might possibly be abusive after the wedding!!! I had one of those kind of boyfriends years & years ago. He never once asked me to marry him; yet he was always speaking of what we were going to do once we were married. I told him I was NOT going to marry him & then I quit talking to him or allowing him to enter my home. At first he would ring the bell over & over or he would pound on the door. I just ignored him & he eventually gave up. When a mutual friend told him I was moving from Virginia to Georgia, he called to say he would be coming down in 5 years to marry me. About a year later I came home from work to find him sitting on my doorstep. I turned around & drove off. I called a friend on the police force & explained what was going on & told him I didn't want him arrested...I just wanted him to go away!!! My friend drove by my house & began questioning him as to why he was sitting on the steps of a house that didn't belong him in a state where he didn't reside. My friend promptly gave him a "free" ride out of town with a warning that he'd be arrested if he came back. That was the last time I ever saw or heard from him!!! As for your question on the appropriate length for an engagement, I'd say until you BOTH are ready to make a lifetime commitment!!! And let me repeat...I would NOT marry this guy you have spoken of!!!

We have been engaged for year and are happy. Once you are happy that is all that counts. Why the rush to get married? Unless for tax reasons lol

I would say at least a year. But, you need to get away from this guy. For you to say no, and him to claim that you are engaged anyway, this guy is controlling and manipulative. Sounds like he thinks he found someone he can push around. You need to distance yourself from him. (unless he was joking around, but that's not how you said it)

You have not stated whether u liked that man. Much depends on ur liking for that man and in case u need ur parents nod whether they also approve. After engagement maximum six months time can be there. It is because after engagement you cannot say no to him when he calls for going out and whether it will suit ur position as a student or employee. this is my view--i know it is conservative. good day.

I agree with you, an engagement must turn into a marriage ina year or two at max. The point here is that engagement is like a promise for marriage and when you know you have to marry a person then why to prolong the pending time. I think people want more time during the relationship affair or engagement because they want to have a better understanding of there partner by spending time with him/her and testing them but in my opinion life is not a test lab its a playing ground so choose a person you think is good for you, spend reasonable time together and head up for the real official relation. I hope it helps.

We live on two different planets; over in India, engagements last for a few months at most, and a day at the least. This is because the marriages here are divided into arranged and love; the love marriages are self-explanatory - people fall in love, or at least what they believe to be it, and tie the knot. Whereas in arranged marriages, the families need to fall in love with each other, only then the meeting of the prospective couple would be arranged. If the culmination of love is to be marriage in the west, in India it is quite the reverse. As to the question of how long a betrothal should last, I think it should last zero seconds; after all, it is just a pointless formality, not even an economical one at that. So in summary I'd say, put off any thoughts of marriage for as long as until you are fully convinced, and when you actually are, seal the bond at once, forever.

I wonder why are you curios about "perfect engagement lenght" if you let us think in fact you do not want to engage ... Now really, if you refused the guy is not because you find yourself to young. To young is the excuse for "I want to now more about life, other guys and gals and so on" and / or "I don't see you as my other half". Both, you should avoid the guy or have a short clear chat with him but not just you 2, but with some silent witness, friends from both you and his circle. Tell him it was a nice joke but you wanted to be stoped before someone may think is serious .. As to answer to the question, the answer is simple: an engagement should last until is broken or replaced with a marriage. No more, no less.

I believe that an engagement should be as short or as long as you would like it to be. when you know you are ready to make that lasting commitment to someone else you will know when to take the step from engagement to marriage and have a solid foundation to build on.

That really depends on where you are at (considering there are a lot of different customs and all) but I think 5 years is quite a long time. The reason for the engagement is for you to get married in the NEAR future. I think 2 1/2 years should be the longest.

First of all when you said no, the man should respect your answer. About the length of an engagement there are no measurements on the length nor a time schedule. Some people are engaged for a lifetime, some replace the engagement with a spilt up or get married. It is up to each one what will suit them best.

My partner and I will probably be engaged at least two years because we just aren't going to be able to afford to get married until then, but being engaged just feels like the next logical step in our relationship - it's just a public announcement of how committed we are to eachother. Ideally, I would agree with you, that an engagement should be 12-18 months ish, that's how long ours would be in a fantasy world. But the fact is, we just won't be financially ready in 12-18 months, but we do want to get married, and that's the only reason we're waiting - being engaged shows everyone that. Excuse me for asking, but how old are you? I very strongly believe that age has nothing to do with being ready for that kind of commitment, it's entirely down to an individual and their relationship, but my parents were married at 18, and are still going strong, and my partner and I are only 20, and both more than willing to be engaged. I just think age isn't a reason not to commit, and you need to consider whether it's that you personally aren't ready (which is absolutely fine, and totally down to personal preference) or whether you aren't sure about the relationship itself and are using age as a crutch. No offence intended, I hope you aren't offended by what I've said.

If you have met the right person at the rignt time in the right place, I suggest you to marry him.No matter how long your engagement is , if you love him and he loves you ,that's enough! Good Luck!

I don't think that there are any hard and fast rules as to how long an engagement should last. Sometimes getting engaged is just an indication that you are truly committed to each other, and I don't think there is any reason to rush into getting married. You should learn to get to know each other, and most importantly make absolutely sure that getting married is what you want! Only once you have achieved this should you take that next step..

First of all if you feel too young to be in a committed relationship then the man should respect that. No means no not maybe or yes or five years and your married. You are not engaged at all because you said NO and this man is being presumptive and very controlling. Run away from this person fast. Tell your parents and family what he said and did. First dating someone you should date for at least 6 months or longer before becoming engaged. Then depends on what sort of wedding you want the more elaborate and larger it is the longer it takes to plan. Usually a year is the norm but some have gone as long as 2-3 years. If the guy buys a ring and you still feel as you did when he asked DO NOT accept the ring and firmly tell him you are not engaged, are not ready for this sort of commitment and do not want to accept the ring. If he persists find someone to make him see he has no claim on you and you mean NO get away from him. If he is like this NOW think how he will be if you did get married later. This man could be dangerous. Be careful and get help if he persists.

I think that an engagement should last maybe two or three. You have to get used to l iving together if you haven't started that already. You have to think about the money and plus you have to plan the wedding. Wedding's are no easy thing to plan. I wish you the best of luck nut if you think about it, in this economy five years isn't asking too much. It would possibly take that long to get the money for the wedding itself let alone the honeymoon.

I don't know how long an engagement should last. I just know I don't want to be engaged a long time. How long does it really take to realize you love someone and you could spend the rest of your life with this person? I thought the courting stage took care of the getting to know each other part. By the time a individual has reached engagement status it shouldn't take much longer before they are married. At least that's how see it.

i think 5 years is bit long.. but if you are too young to get marriage that might be ok..because he just want to make sure that you will marriage him in future and not change..and really serious to you..

LOL, he can't say you are engaged if you said "no." I hope you pointed that out to him. Anyway, I think you have the right idea, a couple of years at the most is more appropriate. You are wise to wait if you feel you are too young. Don't let him push you.