That place between Hope and Despair. feeling devastated :(

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I was on my way home. I felt the vibration of my handphone and the ringtone resonating from my pocket. I fished it out and saw the display screen. It was you! With heart beating fast and bated breath, I answered it. The sound of your voice exclaiming excitedly on the other end 1422.51KM away. "Sorry!! We had a family game night and I just saw your missed calls! Everything OK? I was..." RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG My alarm went. I opened my eyes. It was just a dream It COULD NOT have been just a dream! I grappled for my handphone in the dark. The display screen lighted up. No missed calls. No new messages. Now I know what they mean when they say, "Feels like I've been hit by a bus." It was more like a train. Energy zapped. Just wanted to go back to sleep but I had a job to do. Somehow I made it through the day. I know I made a mistake. You never said don't call. You never said this is over. You just disappeared. Now I'm stranded here and I don't know what to do. Tell me this ain't over. Tell me this is just a setback. Tell me we can rewrite the ending to this story. . . . Or at least tell me this is over. That place between Hope and Despair is the worst place to send me to. I know I deserve it. For the hurt I've put you through. I might never see you smile at me that way again. I might never hear your voice in the morning again. I might never have those insanely long conversations that fade into the wee hours of the morning again. But you never said "Don't call". You never said "This is over". That place between Hope and Despair is the worst. I am leaning towards Hope. That is the only comfort I have...for now.