Update on Family Drama..
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
July 25, 2011 11:03am CST
A few new develpments have happened over the weekend since my sister in law and husband got into a terrible fight on Thursday. I discussed this in another post, but for those who didn't read it, I will give you a briefing. My SIL called hubby to have him go put an a/c in for FIL on a day it was over 110 degrees. Hubby was at work, but it didn't matter because FIL did not want the a/c anyway, he claims his house is cool enough now that we've moved his bedroom downstairs. I did go over to check on him that day to ensure he was okay and didn't need anything. The fight was mostly because 1. SIL never calls to just talk or see how things are, she always only calls to get us to do things for FIL. and 2. hubby works 50 hours a week while SIL is currently on vacation. She has more time and fewer responsiblities so should not be asking us to do these things that she could easily do herself. Her excuse for asking us is that we live closer.
Anyways, apparently shortly after the fight, my SIL called my FIL to ask him if he wanted her to go put the a/c in, and he told her the same thing he told us, he doesn't need it.
Isn't it funny how after the argument with my husband, suddenly then she was willing to do it herself?
However, when she called her father, she also filled him in on the fight she'd had with her brother. Being a tattle tale or something? Who knows. All I know is that FIL does not need this stress.
BTW- FIL had a heart attack Friday night. He's okay now, still in the hospital though. It was not stress related. It was caused by his blood levels being too low. He has a condition where is body is not making blood anymore and he needs regular transfusions, but they aren't giving him transfusions as often as he needs. He was seen at the doctor's on Wednesday and told he did not need a transfusion yet (generally 2 units). Friday he had the heart attack and then Saturday he got 3 units of blood. Hubby got pretty angry at the doctors and told them to make sure his father starts getting transfusions more frequently so he doesn't have more heart attacks.
Anyways, the point is, with all that my FIL is dealing with, he doesn't need his daughter running to him because she wants to be a brat and cause a fight with her brother. It's childish and stupid.
Oh, she also, at some point, probably Thursday, deleted me from her Facebook friends list. I didn't notice this until Saturday night when I went looking to see if she was still there because honestly I expected this from her, and it's truly no loss. All she ever posts is pictures of her dogs, horses, and brags about the marathons she runs. She never actually speaks to me on there or comments on any of my posts or pictures. Actually, back around Memorial day she posted that her bagpipe band was going to be in the parade, and I commented on her status claiming my daughter would also be in the parade. She never responded to me.. she did not ask what group my daughter would be in or mention hoping to see her, nothing. Like I said, no big loss there.
Hubby took today off work to go down and see his father and get him ready for his discharge which should happen by Wednesday. At some point he's going to talk to his father about either creating a will to ensure we get the house, or putting the house in our names. We're also going to attempt to get more serious about moving in with him, for his own sake. It's either that or he's going to need to go to a nursing home and sell his house.
4 people like this
13 responses
@ieniemienie (232)
• Netherlands
25 Jul 11
What a story! Too bad your FIL is ill. Hope he can get dicharged wednesday. I also hope your SIL has the decency to keep her mouth shut fur a while. Your FIL needs to strengthen first. Hopefully she will not at all tell him all about the arguments but she probably will. I understand you are planning to live with your FIL for his health. I guess this could also cause an argument with your SIL. Certainly when the house will be put in your names, she will feel bad about this that is for sure. So prepare yourself for yet another argument!
Well the best of luck with this and hope your FIL is feeling better soon.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Jul 11
that is one selfish gal. well, i hope you can get him to have you all move in. it would probably help you financially also. would be nice for all concerned, then she couldnt harrass you cause you'd be there for him. 
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
26 Jul 11
When we do move in with him she'll be even more convinced that we are freeloaders. She won't see it as us doing it for him, she'll see it as doing it for ourselves.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Jul 11
if i was you, i wouldnt care. id outright tell her why hasnt she moved in? she knows her dad needs help. i would also explain what an inconvienence it is, yet you all care enough to give up your privacy, the extra room your kids probably have. the fact that they might have to be farther from their friends, etc. 
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
27 Jul 11
Your hubby has to be beyond stressed out beyond the Dr's and his sister's bs. Sounds like SIL is leading one heck of a lifestyle if she's got horses and plays a bagpipe... must be nice to have the time and money for all those things but not the gaul to do more for her own father than start fights w/ your hubby.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
29 Jul 11
That is awful to hear about your FIL after the fight that his children had just the day before. If I can render a bet here, I bet sis didn't even go see dad at the hospital, the only reason that she really even called him was so she could talk about the fight that the kids had had. With that said, it is important, no matter what your age to have a will and I do think that is something that you should try to encourage your FIL to do.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
29 Jul 11
I don't think she even knew he had a heart attack. FIL called hubby first to say he was going to the hospital. My husband called his aunt, and that was it. Nobody else speaks to my SIL, so unless hubby or FIL call her, she never knows about these things and hubby didn't bother to call her.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
29 Jul 11
The thing I find funny, is she deleting you on her Facebook friends list. I think it is very childish, and very much fits your description of her, in this drama.
I just hope she doesn't loose the fact that the most important thing here is the well being of your FIL. And not all the drama that is being caused.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
29 Jul 11
For years I've been saying that she will some day be sorry. I thought it would really bite her in the butt during her divorce about 5 years ago. That was when she first started alienating her parents for some silly reason, and of course we had never liked her much. I figured the divorce would make her see she needed to keep her family closer because without us or her husband she had nothing. But it didn't open her eyes, and next thing we knew she got remarried and I found out about it when I did a search for her on FB and saw she changed her name, and her parents found out by reading it in the paper.
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
25 Jul 11
It doesn't sound like she understand that older people that have health problems don't like people running there life. They still have feelings and there feelings get hurt if someone tries to change things that they don't want changed. Just because he has health problems doesn't mean that he can't handle to think for his self.
I know people like that myself that stir up problems. It seems like people like that don't care if people get hurt or not by there actions. They are selfish and just think of themselves.
Hopefully your FIL does sign the paperwork in putting the house in your names so you don't have to deal with the SIL started trouble after he's not around.
My mom and us sold our houses and bought one that would work for her and her husband and my family so we could live together because their health wasn't and isn't so good. They can take care of their selves but we wanted to think of the future and live together for when they can't take care of themselves that we would be there and if there was an emergency.Even if they can take care of themselves. There is still lots of things they can't do physically that they need help with.Like repairs,mowing and hooking up things that they don't know how to do. Forgetting to turn the stove off,things like that.My sister and her family was so mad when we moved together she felt we were using my mom but she doesn't realize that we gave up a lot to do that and we bought the place together and we help out a lot and it isn't easy to live with people when you had your own house before. We had to give a lot of our furniture away which was in good shape and that we liked better then my moms but she didn't want to get rid of her stuff and both of our things wouldn't fit. Got rid of our dishes and lots of things because of that.
People can get too jealous over things that they don't know about.
Hopefully things get better for your family. Life can be stressful enough then for people to add to it. You have a good week.
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
7 Dec 11
Hopefully the SIL is treating your family better now and the stress is better! Thank you for the best response!!
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
25 Jul 11
She sounds like she has a real talent for stiring things up. I think your father in law has more sense than she does, and she needs to back off, and listen to what he says, not what she thinks. I think her biggest issue is control. Doesn't matter that FIL doesn't need the AC, she just wants y'all to jump around at her beck and call. That's how it looks to me, anyway.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
26 Jul 11
Yeah, that's pretty much it. She wants control and attention and prove she's better than everyone else, and smarter than everyone else.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
29 Jul 11
Sorry to hear that your FIL is so ill and I hope that you can keep up with his medical care. I also hope that he doesn't have to go into a nursing home. It sounds like the SIL needed someone to blame for things not being done so your husband is being used as her scapegoat. I wish you the best!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
26 Jul 11
That's my SIL for you. I wish she could realize that making him happy and comfortable is more important than forcing him to live however she thinks he should be living.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
25 Jul 11
And I bet your sister in law has not even bothered to make the drive to SEE him to see if he is ok at all right? She really is something else.
I think that you really should reconsider moving in with him. It sounds to me like he really needs someone there for him. If his health is going down hill as fast as it seems having you guys around is probably best for him.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
26 Jul 11
I doubt it.. if she'd gone to see him she'd see that he's not home, and she'd wonder why. We did not call her to tell her he'd had a heart attack. Since he's okay and probably won't die just yet, we did not figure it was important enough to contact her. Perhaps had she been more pleasant and not such a brat we wouldn't have hesistated to let her know.
At this point hubby is figuring we have 2 options. Move in, or send FIL to an assisted living type place. Hubby things the assisted living place will kill FIL faster.. the depression over losing his freedom and all that, you know. So looks like we're going to work on getting in there.
It's a good thing we've already gotten started on the work, because now all that's really left is getting that place cleaned up and ready for us. The only major repairs it needs now is a new bathtub. Hubby's aunt says she'll help financially with anything we need to get moved in there.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Jul 11
Like you and/or your fil need that. Why the heck is she going around insisting on giving him something he says he doesn't need? (rolls eyes)
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
26 Jul 11
I am sorry that your sister in law is causing such drama, and I am sorry your father in law had a heart attack but glad he's doing better and will be discharged within the next few days. It sounds to me lik the best bet is for you to try to move in with the FIL, I'm not sure about his finances or what not but nursing homes can be expensive. It can sometimes take the person's whole SSI check just to live there, and not only that, though they have activities, it can be lonely living in one.
I would try moving in and also getting him to put the house in your guys names and an added note to ensure it stays that way when he does passes, sounds like the SIL will be more trouble then anything.
@frankiecesca (2489)
•
2 Aug 11
Yes he definitely does not need the stress of having his daughter tattle tale to him about her brother - after all what is the point?
I hope he is feeling better and I hope you can manage to get everything sorted soon that you need to. Life is too short for petty arguments.
