Which is the best decision?

The future husband and is family should accept her brother as part of the family as well. They should not asked her to make decision between her bother or their will.It is wrong and unfair for her. I am feel sorry for her to make such decision but for how long she will send her brother away? She will be with her brother forever and split them away is not a good solution. If the future husband can't accept her brother now they will not going to accept him forever. She should think that for the sake of her brother. If it's me I would rather stay single and find someone who can accept my family well rather than have to send them away so I can have my own life.

That's a tough one! Hi there myfb, tell your friend to just follow her heart. The answer must come from her. It's just terrible the her fiance doesn't approve of her brother. I hope everything goes well still.

Is it a reputable place? Has her brother visited there? Does he like it? Will she be able to live with herself if she does this? What is it about her brother that her fiance's parents or family don't like? The right decision is the one that will make her happy and that she can live with.

My view on this is torn into half, because it is about her happiness and about her love to her brother is the issue. I just wish her in-laws and husband to be are more understanding so she do not have to suffer the guilt of feeling by thinking that she is about to abandon her own brother. She should ask her fiancee and talk to him that marrying her means embracing all that is there in her life, including her brother. They must come to a compromise wherein her brother's well being will still be taken care of even she will start a new life with him since she is the only one that her brother has...

That problem is really tough. But what she did is right for her brother has a brain damage and she can't provide nursing interventions so it mus be taken care of health professionals.

From my point of view, I think she did what is good for her and her brother as well. She should not feel bad about it. Anyway, the special care center could better take care of her brother and she is always free to visit her brother anytime, right? :) Good luck for her wedding and her future. :) Best wishes for her.. :)

That is selfish of that family to deny the brother the caretaker that he has been used to. They may be thinking of her and how she will fulfill her family duties while caring for him but it sounds very callous to me. Families should take care of each other, not rely on an institution to do it for them. I would not marry into such a family.

Only she can make that decision. And she has to make it by herself. It would have been better though if the couple had enough money to live alone. It is very difficult to live with the in laws. It is more difficult still, to bring along a brother such as hers along.

I can completely see why this young woman would want to get married because she has been sacrificing herself for her brother. That in and of itself is a very noble thing to do. However, making the decision to send her brother to a special care facility is not a decision that I would be able to make. Instead, I think that there should be some kind of a compromise. Perhaps her husband could live with her so that her brother can not be in special care but the marriage would still be something that could happen.

Hi myfb: First think I would ask myself on this situation if I was in the same situation of your friend would be: did I feel comfortable taking care of my brother? If the answer is yes, which means that I feel that my brother is better in my hands and I have the skills to take care of him, I wouldn't let my future husband or his family manipulate my feelings. I think that, if someone loves me he/she shouldn't try to manipulate my feelings making me take a hard choice like this. ALVARO

Letting her brother to stay in a special care center is really a very hard decision to make.But I guess her future in laws is right, not to bring him along her brother when she gets married.He can be a burden once she and her partner started their own family.Anyway she can visit her brother anytime she wants to but she must also make sure that the home center is really capable of taking care of her brother.She have a life of her own and also deserves to be happy. I think getting married is her first step.

This is hard to decide for someone else myfb as for me I would be torn with having to put him in a special care home. Knowing he can only depend on me that would absolutely tear me to pieces. However, though there is the side that if he will be taken care of by the special care center then maybe that would be best to do. But it is certainly easier to say then do when I am not the one making the decision. My first impression though is that, now this would be only for me though, and that is that if I loved and cared for him all along I could not part with sending him away. Since it is not be caring for him, perhaps her happiness too has to be considered. Wow, I do wish she does the right thing for both of them, mostly for the brother who is the one who needs to be cared for. Blessings for the both of them.

Hello friend! The situation is really complicated myfb,it's hard to choose on both who are so dear to your friend. All I can tell you is to let her pray and ask for a sign from our Lord. This really helps myfb,I've done this many many times and He always give me signs to guide me and I have no regrets from what I choose because of His guidance. There was a time in my life that I badly needed money and all I have is an old cellphone where no pawnshop would accept it. The money that I am expecting will be sent to me after 3 days but that day,I really need it so I have no choice but to try to go to a pawnshop for me to have money. I prayed before I go myfb,I said Lord I know no pawnshops are accepting my cellphone but I badly need money now,please lead me the way where I can pawn my cell. I rode on a jeepney and there was no passengers but only me,my niece and the other man,when we got to a place where we are not supposed to stop,the driver said,you can just transfer to another jeepney 'cause my jeep is not working well so we went down and right there I saw a pawnshop,I went and try out for my cell and it was accepted! They even gave me money more than what I needed! All I wanted to say that time is "Thank you Lord for leading me the way and for giving me signs what pawnshop I should be." I know your friend will be guided by our Lord,just let her ask Him.

Thats a really hard decision, off course she wants to keep taking care of her brother, its family, but she also has to give herself a chance to live her live, and if she sends her brother to the special care center she could still visit him, and maybe he would be better taking care in there.

This is just so hard to call and I don't think that this is the kind of decision that someone else can make for you in life. It is such a terrible decision. It's easy to see where her future in laws are coming from as they want her to have happiness and not have to live her life looking after someone else all the time. I think that if her brother isn't able to think or even eat by himself then perhaps a specialist centre would be ideal for him. It would allow your friend to live her life, still go and visit her brother and he won't be any the wiser. Maybe that's the wrong way to look at it but she's looked after him for a long time and needs to be able to live her life and her future happiness possibly depends on the decision that she makes.

I can understand that this is a real dilemma. In my opinion, she should not be blamed even if she has sent her brother to the special care center. In fact it is already not easy for her to take good care of her brother for so many years. She has to work to afford the living. I am glad that she found the right man and he can accept to it. It will be difficult if they live all together because they have no experience to take care of such an patient. Frankly, it is really not easy because this is not a short time. It will be 24 hours all the years. So people shall be understanding to her situation and give her support. She is a very nice girl.

If your colleague's parents-in-law could accept her as their daughter-in-law, why couldn't they accept her brain-damaged brother as well? It is a question. Now it is after a year now. I hope that her brother is accepted to stay with her so that she can better take care of him. If they don't allow, the only choice for her is to send her brother to the nearest special care center so that she can go and visit him every day when she is available. I wish her good luck. Take care, myfb.