The opposite effects of being told that you're fat
By astreadido
@astreadido (608)
Philippines
July 26, 2011 8:44pm CST
I'm fat. I gained a lot of weight after giving birth to our 2nd child and using injectable contraceptives after. My husband who used to see my chubbyness as cute is now telling me to go on a diet. I'm not sure if it is on the manner of how he said it, but it got me down. Positive thinking should make me inspired to lose the weight but instead it makes me feel ugly and it reflected in my overall appeal. It makes me feel like my husband doesn't like me anymore and it's frustrating because i've tried dieting before and i can't hold on to it longer than a week. I've read online that taking these injectables have some depressive effects and maybe it worsens what should have been just your regular blues.
2 people like this
10 responses
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
27 Jul 11
Take it as a constructive criticism. I believe that your husband is just concern about you gaining weight because of your health and not because his feelings has changed. Look at it in a brighter perspective and use it to motivate you to go on a diet to look better and to feel better. Lose weight for yourself and not to please other people. Losing weight is not an instant process, so be patient and do not give up. Do it slowly but constantly.
1 person likes this
@xuyxuy (432)
• Philippines
27 Jul 11
Focus on your self first and not your husband's opinion or anyone else. Don't go on a diet if your not enjoying it. I've been in the same situation before. I gained weight due to pregnancy and the medicines for my asthma. I haven't heard any comments from anybody, maybe because they are afraid to do so. But I then realized that it's time for me to do something so that my weight gain will be stop. So I get up one day and decided to go on a walk and until eventually it turn out that I can run now till 2 kilometers and planning to increase it. So don't be discourage to what people say if other more obese people can do it, you can do it also.
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
27 Jul 11
I appreciate your spirit xuyxuy! You are really good for you made things better. Yea, steroids will cause weight gain.
Good thing you're making things better.. :)
@azeljeorge (56)
• Philippines
27 Jul 11
I think you should stop those injectable, i don't know but for me it's not healthy and a little risky having that unless it is advised by your doctor. For me the best way to loss weight is still exercise and proper diet since it is safe. But most important is proper motivation towards yourself. You should have some goals to meet and discipline to yourself.
@thetis74 (1525)
•
27 Jul 11
Oh don't be that sad. Just go to the positive side and think you can do it. I hope you could get a time looking for my posts that I have made the past weeks. Maybe you can get some tips on weight loss. I have gained weight too after having a baby. But I was so determined to put on all my old clothes back and I did get my normal weight and flat stomach even without stretch marks. But I am blessed with a fast metabolism that's why it wasn't that hard. But just go easy and slowly because it might strain you if you exercise too much. And relax because depression can only make you gain too much weight because you will tend to eat more. Virgin coconut oil is a good fat that helps speed up your metabolism and burn those fats. I have explained it on my posts. I hope it will work for you. Good luck.
@thetis74 (1525)
•
27 Jul 11
Yes I do agree. I just thought of giving her those tips not for her husband but for herself so she could slowly start on something while going through with everything. It was indeed rude for him to call her that. But he also needed to know that getting the weight back from pregnancy isn't easy and that her wife is not the only one getting it. And the contraceptive she was talking about is known to have effects on weight gain. That is why I am afraid of it because it is good for six months. And depending on the person's body they say some can gain weight very fast.
My partner also told me that I was fat. But I didn't actually get mad because it was like a joke for him. But whether it was a joke or not I went to the defensive side and told him, "oh yeah? You are fat yourself you like you are more pregnant than I was, and when I get my slim figure again, I will succumb to the body of a macho man." That just kept quiet and never called me fat anymore. But i did not choose to regain my old weight for him but for myself. And i wish that she will try to get her old weight back just for her and for health and not for her rude husband. Thank you
@bwbain56 (6)
• United States
27 Jul 11
mike I am with you on this, every response is about her eating healthy and slowly loosing weight.What about her just having a baby and the husband is being very insensitive to her feelings and totally out line for saying what he said. She is trying to express how she is hurt and how this makes her feel. She does need to hear everyones how to on how to loose weight. HOney I am sorry your husband is a jerk and out of order.
@kahano42 (53)
• United States
27 Jul 11
Turn your sadness and anger into positivity. Dieting is extremely hard, especially after having a baby and taking care of an older child. You feel like you have no time for yourself. I have one child and I know the feeling! Dieting is more of a mind set than an action of eating right. Diet and exercise combined makes a killer combination, but without the motivation and support you have nothing.
There is a system that some of my family members and friends have tried and they really do work. One is all natural and the other helps with the mental side of it. Message me if you want me to send you more info about it. 2 of my family members were pretty depressed about pretty much everything, mostly their weight, but also money, and family situations, once they started using this they started losing weight and that pretty much pulled them out of the slump all in its own.
I'm rooting for you and I know you can do this. If you don't have support at home, you'll always have it here! =)
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
27 Jul 11
I gained a lot of weight with my 2 babies, and been diagnosed with depression/anxiety disorder. If you're concerned about your depression, please speak with your doctor.
Also, diet isn't a temporary thing, it's a lifestyle change. Meaning switching to fruits/veggies, lean meats, low-fat dairy products, and whole grains, instead of processed foods, junk foods, and refined sugars. Your body does have a natural tendency to be slim, however, the right foods is what you'll need. It'll also prevent health complications when you get older.
My husband does the fat thing to me, I'd just keep peace and am working on my own weight. Best of luck :-)
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
27 Jul 11
What you feel right now is postpartum blues(after delivery blues).IF YOU JUST GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR 2ND BABY.then if it was one year ago then that feelings maybe a side effect of your contraceptives. I bet your ob-gyne prescribed that one, you can talk to her for more information.
Second thought, it is normal for you to feel that way because you're a woman and we feel insecure if our partner say things that will make us feel down. Just bear in mind that he's concern in your health not just how you look. And also I have read from a book about how to make a a marriage life better. it says in there that men wants there wife to look good. The eyes is trained to look on beauty so go on diet. I know how hard it is for you. Please go on with a healthy diet, eat vegetables,it will not make you fat even if you eat a lot, it will make your skin more beautiful. I am a semi-vegetarian before and i have noticed I am so slim so now i'm having protein diet. :)
@Jelminrie (358)
• Philippines
27 Jul 11
We have the same feelings, but its not my husband, i still don't have one, its the mirror! I just realized lately I barely check myself in the mirror because of the fats i have and it makes me sad,Well for you i think in everything it takes some courage, as a person who shares the same feeling, We will struggle getting back into shape, believe me even when your husband tells you your beautiful, my boyfriend always tells me that but everytime i fit a dress and even if its the most beautiful dress ever, i don't feel pretty because it doesn't fit me, Take your husbands comment positively. Lets try and try to tone our self.
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
27 Jul 11
It is frustrating to hear your loved one tell you you're fat. But think about it, he told you that because he loves you. He told you to go on a diet because he cares for you. He knows the old you and he knows you will feel down seeing yourself fat too. My husband like me fat, because Im thin, and whenever he says im fat, its a joke and i know however fat i go he will still love me, (because he's fat too) hihi. Dont be sad with him telling you to go on a diet. MAybe its really time for a diet, and its good to hear it from him, rather than from others right? He cares for you.
