Life after an affair
By kahano42
@kahano42 (53)
United States
July 27, 2011 12:22pm CST
Do you believe trust can be built back up after an affair? If you've ever been cheated on, cheated, or know someone who has I would like to hear from you! An aquaintance of mine was recently caught cheating on her husband. She said she was feeling abandoned. The person she had an affair with was an ex boyfriend and said all she wanted was to feel loved. When everything came out and he caught her, she instantly felt guilty and wanted nothing more but to make things right with her husband. He has taken her back but she says that he still makes comments about not knowing if it will work because he doesn't know if he can get past what she did to him. What do you think? Would you be able to forgive and forget if you significant other proved she can be trustworthy?
2 people like this
6 responses
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
27 Jul 11
My basic rule is "Never go back". There's one caveat: if the person who cheated has had a really serious, life-changing experience since "the act", then it's possible they'll have changed sufficiently to warrant a second look. Otherwise, nothing's changed. They're still the same person. No way I could ever trust them.
@ckdbandara (236)
• Sri Lanka
27 Jul 11
I completely agree with you my friend...
:)
1 person likes this
@kahano42 (53)
• United States
27 Jul 11
Trust is a HUGE part of a relationship and without it there really isn't much because whenever you're not around them you are always thinking the worst, especially since they have already hurt you. It's hard for me to say my views on this because I hear it straight from her and I can say that she is a completely different person from when she committed "the act" (nicely put by the way...haha) but trust is still broken there.
I always hear stories of how people had a broken relationship and one person was cheating but then they came out about everything and they worked things out and now they are better than ever and more in love than they ever were. I wonder if that is really the case. I can't say I've ever been cheated on in the past (that I know of at least) so I don't know how I'd react.
1 person likes this
@SpikeTheLobster (6403)
•
28 Jul 11
People are different about it. I'm big into honesty and trust (as in, I never lie to my lady) so cheating is a cardinal, unforgivable thing for me - and yes, it's happened to me (rather too much, thank you!). But I know people who've moved on from it and are happy, in strong relationships. They trust easier than me, it seems.
@ckdbandara (236)
• Sri Lanka
27 Jul 11
Trust is something which is very important for me. Even it is a case with my wife when a critical case like this I will never forgive her to stay with me.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
29 Jul 11
My parents have been married for 26 years and my dad cheated on my mom when they were first married. They put it in the past and she took him back and he has never hurt her like that again. I think it can happen and since he was only 19 I think that had a BIG part to do with it. At that age everything new that comes along looks good until you find out it wasn't good after all. My mom completely trusts him now 100% but I'm sure for a while it hurt and it was hard for her to look at him the same. But she says I was willing to fight for my marriage and make it work. That is exactly what she did.
I think it would be hard for me but I would forgive since I want the Lord to forgive me of my sins. Would I wonder for a while if he was being faithful, absolutely. But I would make it work like my mother did...I have fought to hard for my marriage to give it up now.
