Happy to have overcome the bad temper I've inherited from Mom
By thetis74
@thetis74 (1525)
July 27, 2011 8:36pm CST
My mother used to hit a lot when we were small when her bad temper coincides with us being naughty. Children are naturally naughty and a mother's patience is very crucial because it is a mistake for hitting our children especially for some petty reasons. I used to get angry when my little girl does not listen to me and there were occasions that I spank her in the butt. I feel so guilty afterwards and always thought I should curb it because she is too small and I need to control my temper.
So I kept trying and hardly I ever get angry with her anymore. And I notice that she is more responsive and listens to me when I am calm with dealing with her. When I am upset I just tell her that I am upset and let her be, and she would just come to me and say, "i love you mommy, I am sorry mommy." But I only get really strict on her when it comes to her dealing with other kids if she gets bad with others sometimes. And she concedes easily.
And it makes me happy because that being treated well, children can grow up to be confident and that they can express whatever talent and potential they have inside of them because they become happy children.
1 person likes this
8 responses
• Canada
28 Jul 11
That's good, I think verbal communication is the key to solving any issue with other people. It's only natural to get frustrated at times and not find the right words to express your hurt and anger, so it's understandable that you have resorted to other methods. I know I've raised my voice and used one too many cuss words out of anger, and lashing out always seems the quickest way to let someone know you've been offended or angered, but in the longterm, it's the worst way to get what you want. Also, I believe it's very common to inherit our parents' worst and best habits, so while we know we should be using different ones, it's easy to want to fall back on what we know, what we've seen our loved ones do. I, for one, take after my dad in the anger department. I will be very tolerant and let some things slide here and there, but once it all builds up and someone angers me once too many times, I'll let them know and make them feel worse, bringing up past events where that person was the bad guy and I was wronged. I can be very bitter that way, and then once it's over, I go back to being nice, calm, and tolerant.
@thetis74 (1525)
•
28 Jul 11
It's all right my dear. Sometimes we really can't help it and I am sure people can understand especially if they knew what angered us. Let us just get used to calming ourselves even before we explode because it isn't healthy for all of us. Such profound thoughts you have.
@06MLam (620)
•
28 Jul 11
I think parents should calm down when they are unhappy with what their children have done. I think I cannot do this myself if I have my children because it is difficult. However, if we try to remember that scolding and bitting our children will make the relationship between our children and us worse, then we might be able to stop ourselves. Instead, we have to try listening to our children for the reason behind their behaviour and try to tell them why we dislike their behaviour which simply means more communication in other words.
1 person likes this
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
28 Jul 11
Hi thetis, Thats nice to hear. Its good to control temper especially to kids. They inherit what we react to them. Controlling temper is also good for health and gives mind strength to handle things patiently. If you give love, it comes back, so as temper. Nice to hear your kid has a wonderful mom. Cheers!
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@lilbabycatapillar (497)
• United States
28 Jul 11
I'm not a huge fan in the rage my mother used on me growing up either. It just doesn't work, and it's a hard thing to reverse once you inherit it. I don't think spanking is all that necessary, and it is possible to be an effective parent without it. It is also possible to be strict without being aggressive. I think a good value for a parent to have is patience, because losing one's cool is just a sign that things are going out of control. A parents needs to at least feel in control at all times.
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@thetis74 (1525)
•
28 Jul 11
My mother just never have that control and I know that it is too much, because even until now that she old she still hits my nephews who are growing up with them. She would feel guilty afterwards and say sorry to them. But I don't know why she couldn't think of changing if it make her feel guilty.
@ellebj (784)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
you should really have a lot of patience to train and raise a child.. good communication with a child do the trick.. at you place, you are right on how you deal with the kid, other than being angry, we should talk to them and tell them your opinion. my mom also have bad temper with regards to kids.. like kids playing, with being untidy.. I remember when we were small that she throw our clothes on the floor because our wardrobe is not tidy.. and all those temper, me and my sister grow up not so attach with her because of that.. and when we do something, she always have opinions and we don't like it because she always said that we are wrong even if at times we are right..
@edsss17 (4394)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
That's really really good!
How I wish my mom would overcome her temper too. Its getting in my nerves everytime she have a temper! When I was a little girl she always hit me when I go out and don't listen to her. Well, what can I do? I'm just a kid..
And now, its my little siblings turn! And I really hate to see them being hurt..
Good for you!
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