Important observation or question about family

I agree with you my friend, at the same time not every one ( Males ) are like that you said... Usually gals and ladies are soft in nature and they have tolerance and patience, shyness like many things which guys haves very very less in nature.. Behavior is an effect of hormones and jeans.. Moreover, Attitude is most important one in everything... Still many guys are perfect and also helping their wife and mother in all aspects.. They were being very sincere to their ladies.. Attitude is the only reason for any of our activities, If a guy haves a responsibilities and stubbornness in their bottom of heart.. Being in a less Tolerance, patience, shyness will get defeated.. So many gents are living their life in the way which they would like to live.. But that is wrong, But a gal can do anything in this universe if she would like to.. Then why not changing the mentality and attitude of the husband or son by showing the true love to them?? Is there any one can you point out and show me that who never comes under the control of Love??? Love can make anything..

Surekha -- this is a famous topic. yes. In India men normally do not do any household work - reason - we engage servant maids/boys who do this partially and the balance is done by women. I know your feelings -- present day Indian women are over burdened -- one side she has to go to office , earn money equal to or less than or more than her partner -- do house hold work like cooking, taking care of children, teaching children etc. --plus she has to be wife of her husband also. In the process if she gets help from her husband it will be a solace for her and comfort her feelings. This again differs from family to family. Even in India in some families men do help. Now in USA boys who are coming from India have necessarily to do 60% of work by themselves -- yes cleaning the car, cleaning the house, preparing for his breakfast, attending outside work, taking care of children etc. otherwise the family vehicle will not run. This attitude cannot be changed all of a sudden. It depends on the male partner - to understand and change himself.

hi surekharathi oh some men are impossible. My husband was a marvel as he would help with the washing ,the vacuuming and sweeping, housework in general.Also he could cook oh how he could cook but like so many men washing and drying dishes was not in his vocabulary. that he would never do.Now my dad believed all house work was woman's work and a good wife had to wait on him hand and foot; bring me a glass of water, a cup of coffee, on and on. I had seen my mom sick from the flu stagger around waiting on my tyrant of a father. but I refused to wait on him like that and he finally just wrote me out of his will. fine I did not weep over that as I despised the man for the bigot and tyrant that he was.

dear sis, We live in two different world/s. I want to share your sentiments,but that your society so you have to bear with it. Accept it and be praised,or argue and you will be condemned (no offense meant please) Here in my country,husband cook,wash clothes,clean the house,take care of kids and do every household works that we can think of. When I got married,I am not a good cook,it is my husband who teaches me to cook. My husband is a very organized person,he wants everything to be in order,he wants the house to be clean and properly maintained -inside and out. He is also very meticulous with his clothes,so most of the time he iron his clothes and also my dress (hehehe) Here in our country,a son who is a good cook is family's pride. I tell you my dear,my kids knows how to cook simple foods as early as 12 yrs old. My son who is 15 yrs old know how to cook and even cook chicken soup last month when I am not feeling well. My kids aged 17,15 and 12 knows how to wash their clothes. I have two sons aged 15 and 12,they know how to cook,wash clothes and clean their rooms. Husband's here always help their wives for every household works. A husband who doesn't help his wife with household works is condemned by society for being an irresponsible husband. Husband here knows how to changed their kids diaper and done milk solution for their babies. There is always a differences in every country and people my dear. But,it is an individual choice whether they want to help each other. I am only sharing my views here....no offense meant to anyone please. have a good day jaiho®

My dad does try to help my mom around the kitchen but she doesn't let him do it most of the times. But at times when my mom is extremely busy, dad helps mom with the kitchen work. He does the cooking when my mom's sick and I must say, dad cooks really good hehe!!

yes friend, you are right some are like that but not all. I help my wife every time in every work. But really men should change their thinking those who are not helps their wife.

I've seen some families where the mother shoulders most of the burden and it's expected. Not in mine though. My husband often cooks, cleans, does laundry, and changed his share of diapers when my son was a baby. My son and husband both do their share of cleaning and cooking (even though my son is only five, he's a whiz in the kitchen already!). I'm very lucky to have a family that works together - there is no "woman's work" or "man's work".

I'd say I've always been blessed to have a very cooperative and hardworking husband. He always lend a helping hand when it comes to household chores so life as a working mother and wife has always easier for me because of him. Now with my only son, he also knows how to work and I have always tested his capability to help in times of emergencies. When I and his Dad are out and there is no food at home, he could help himself. He could cook rice and dish so he won't go hungry. We've trained him by our examples actually. I would say I have no complaints when it comes to cooperation and consideration in my home. I am truly blessed!

Hi Surekha.. If we would meet each other then i think you have posted this discussion observing me. lol Well, when i had my sis in my home, i seldom did some household works but now as she is married, i do some works but cant admit that i really 100% help my mom. Sorry. I regret too.

Surekha beti Not all son's or husbands are like, what you say is becoming more common in present day guys, and the mothers are responsible to spoil them, they do everything for the son, won't allow him to get up from seat, even serve food where he wants, thus it becomes a habit for them And later when the son behaves like this, the mother feels sad. I always help my wife, daughter in law in cooking, cleaning etc, though we have 2 maidservants!! Thanks for sharing Best of luck to you your observation Professor ‘Dr.B.Saraf. PhD.’

HI sis! Just like women need to go for work, the men also need to help with the house chores as well. The roles play are different now and men can't be the king anymore as both need to carry the same responsibility.The women need a rest too~If the man is the only one who work than okay the works at home is in mom's shoulder. But if both work, I don't think the wife can stand with the burden they need to carry.(^^)

Hi my sweet dear friend. I believe the older traditional males in my country were raised this way. Where mom did everything for them so it was expected that the women, be it the wife and or mother continue to do the same. As if the housework was specifically for the woman. Although there are some still this way, there are the vast majority that realize that in this today age world men need to also fend for themselves. I raised my son to cook and clean a home. I often believed that I may not be here forever and well maybe he may not be with a woman who could help him. So my son does laundry, clean house and cooks. My boyfriend is the same way. Although he works outside of the home he too does his laundry, cooks and cleans. He would never expect me to do it all, although I do take the initiative to do so he says to me he did not want a maid as he can do things himself.

I am lucky that my husband is not like what you described to be. My husband is so helpful at home. We live with my in-laws and it's just the 4 of us on weekdays, and 5 when brother in law comes home from his work from a far away province , and 6 when daughter is on vacation from school. We don't have a maid, so we clean our own rooms, and do our shares of chores at home. Husband always helps in the household and he do it without a grudge whatsoever. Specially, when mother in law has a fever, he's so exaggerating, he doesn't want her to move in the house and does the works before he leaves for work.

In a nutshell, it all depends on how we are brought up. Like in some old time cultures, the women were groomed to stay home, cook and clean and the man was to go to work and provide. Things have changed in todays world. The family unit is not as it used to be and women are now independent. They have minds of their own and can do and be what they want. Just like men. I think that the generation today is more helpful then in past decades. Like I said in the beginning, it depends on how we were raised.

For the most part I am the person that is responsible for keeping the house and my husband is the one that works outside the house. However, there are many times that the two of us will work together to prepare dinner and things like that. The reason that we both do some things around the house is because of the fact that our house belongs to both of us and for that reason we really should both take pride in what is ours.

There is a touch of male chauvinism in what you said.Over here,The feudal ideology in which the male was respected while the female was lowly held steady in the old society.Today,we have generally realized the equality of men and women.