Insulting people when you don't understand yourself?
By SomeCowgirl
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
United States
July 29, 2011 4:06pm CST
I understand when you truly don't understand it and just don't get it, but well this is where I feel you should seriously think before you insult someone, think "do I truly know what's going on here?" I'll admit I don't always do this. However, let me tell you what I'm talking about.
I have a "Friend" yes the same one I mentioned before, who has not understood things several times before that I've said. Instead of telling her again, I usually do not worry about it, I get a bit aggravated or pissed but realize that while she stung me with an insult, she didn't understand... alright that's fine.
Well she insulted a friend of mine today, and I wasn't going to say anything but I did. I'm tired of her BS, and am no longer going to deal with it. Again, as I've said in a previous discussion about my uncle, you don't me, you don't know her, you don't know the full situation so don't judge.
In any case, she goes and insults me just because I misinterpreted something she put, I didn't just do that SO did my friend who I was defending. She's many times insulted us, and I am not going to take it anymore, I'm just going to stop being her friend.
We've held our tongue for too long, while we're not going to start world war 3, we aren't going to talk to her anymore either.
Here's something everyone even I should keep in mind, think before you speak, for what you interpreted may be different. Sure even these supposed "insults" maybe my misinterpretation but I'm pretty sure there not as I know her.
Whatever, I'm through with her.
So do you have or had friends like this? If you don't understand me, let me know, I'll clarify.
3 people like this
12 responses
@celticeagle (168256)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Jul 11
How can you be friends with a person that doesn't understand what you say. Is she just not on your wave length or is she foreign? I would wonder if she isn't listening to you or just halfway? I would be frustrated too. Why is she being insulting and why do you call her a friend?
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Jul 11
thats why I dislike facebook as people seem to think anything goes there.I had one friend request and when I opened the wall
she had written something really smutty and seemed to think I'would get a large charge out of it and she barely knew me except here
in mylot. she seemed to think I would find this smut funny but all it did was disgust me instead.I finally deleted her as a friend in both sites.Why do people write such stuff on an open open forum like
Facebook? I have a good sense of humor but this just was not funny but vulgar and nasty too.thats for the person with the smutty mind.
Facebook? I have a good sense of humor but this just was not funny but vulgar and nasty too.thats for the person with the smutty mind.2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
She's hispanic, been in this country 11 or more years. She's definitely not my friend anymore, I've given her enough chances. The thing is, this time was written out on facebook, another time, same thing, on facebook...
3 people like this
@celticeagle (168256)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Jul 11
Why do people do that? Exhibitionism or what?
3 people like this
@Xsparky017 (289)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
Sorry to hear that somecowgirl! At least now you know who your true friends are and deserves to be your friend.
Yes, I did have friends like that and I have encountered the same situation before. So true! "Think before you speak" is the key to avoid misunderstanding but to avoid misinterpetation, I'd rather be straightforward and avoid using double meaning phrases or sentences in sensitive conversation. Anyway, maybe she didn't mean what she said or maybe she was just so careless and her emotions made her speak that way. All these things I said are just "maybe" but as you said, you know your firend. Good luck to you, I hope whatever gap/misunderstandings you guys have may still be resolved and keep your friendship.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
29 Jul 11
I am not going to be her friend anymore, I've tried a few times already, and it's the last straw. I don't need the drama she brings.
1 person likes this
@Xsparky017 (289)
• Philippines
31 Jul 11
I see. Well too bad for both of you who just lost a good friendship you had established but if you can breath way better without her in your life as an enemy then why not?! Kick her out of your life! lol
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
30 Jul 11
Very rarely I have had to quit communicating with people because we did not understand each other no matter how hard we tried.I cannot say who was right or wrong, but I can think of three people in that category, over a span of maybe thirty years. I also think this "friend" of yours was never a friend, or she would realize how insulting she is being. I think it is wise to just quit communicating, because then you cannot get any more insulted.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
Yesterday it started with me and a friend talking, then this other "friend" popped in and said "I agree with ____" well the comment that ____ had made was basically saying that her daughter would not remember her. So I wasn't going to, but said "So basically you're saying that _____ daughter would forget her? A real confidence boost there." Then the "Friend" came back and said "no you slow I was saying that ____ daughter would have had a lot of fun over there with all the kids".... Well the whole "kid" comment ____ had made was so small, it was more the issue that her daughter would forget her... Then the "friend" goes back and says "It's cute somecowgirl (she used my name but for purposes...) trying to be smart a**" and this is how she talks.. she doesn't use trying to be a.. well that's the minor thing. In any case, I was defending my friend, not trying to be anything but a good friend by defending her. My friend deleted the comments, we got to talking more, and she's glad I now see how she can be.
This "friend" is always going after ____ or ____ friend. She's very insecure this "friend" I think, I think that's what spawns all of this behavior, but it's immature and I'm not going to stay around just to be insulted.
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
30 Jul 11
Hi SCG!
I would refrain from interacting with a person, who insults me either knowingly or unknowingly. Some people who brazenly insults others, fail to understand its impact.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
You are very right, they don't understand how bad it hurts, or don't care either one. I'm no longer this person's friend. I'd take her off my friend's list but that'd create more drama, however she's long since been blocked.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 Aug 11
I actually did end up taking her off my friends list and she noticed. I figured she wouldn't really as she didn't realize that I had blocked her, she'd ask me why she couldn't see my wall and I'd say "I don't know, it's weird, a glitch." In any case, I am glad to be rid of her.
@walking2010 (1009)
• United States
29 Jul 11
I do understand that because there is always someone trying to insult one another to make them look good and thats not right at all I understand totally.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
29 Jul 11
I think in this situation she was either caught (as in she was being insulting and didn't want to admit it) or it's a defensive move. No offense to her, but she's not very smart in some respects. She's sheltered, even I was sheltered but... well I'm not going to get into it.
You're right, it's not right at all for people to insult each other just to make themselves look good.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72533)
• Philippines
30 Jul 11
Happy that you've finally decided to leave her and stop being her friend. I won't be a friend to that kind of person.
I had an experience here in mylot though that person isn't my friend but he threatened me for something that he misunderstood. I even replied back that he seemed t have ,misunderstood but he ignored it. I call those people stupid and don't have time for such.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
I remember a person whose account was deleted after this, but who replied to me and basically called me a lazy person for looking for jobs in areas that I am trained in. So what if it's retail and waitressing, I'm trained in it and can make the most out of it. This discussion was from a long time ago, and a lot of mylotters backed me up.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
31 Jul 11
I figure they were just insecure about themselves, is all.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
31 Jul 11
There are only a few people that understand me and only one person that truly does, so I know exactly how you feel there. There is only one person I can trust with everything though.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Jul 11
SomeCowGirl Just because I do not understand someone is no
reason for me to insult the other person. I had a small
sort of war with another person here b ut she did not
understand why I would feel insulted that she inferred
I lied about my age.For one thing who on earth would come
to a social site and claim you were in your eighties if you
were much younger? also there was an implied insult in that she
felt people my age could not be as active as I am here and be able to use a computer.So it finally all blew over. she caused my
discussion to be deleted and I chose not to ever respond to her]atain. she showed she was not my friend and i was glad she
was not on my mylot friend's list as had she been I would have
deleted her for sure.. I thought hard and long about her remarks to a discussion of mine and it still seemed very much an insult to me.But we have nothing to do with each other which suits me just fine as I hate infighting.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
I am against any kind of conflict too, I just don't like it, it upsets me too much, especially when I feel I can't defend myself because I've been backed into a corner. It's very wrong of this person to insult you, implying that you aren't as old as you state just because you're here and active with us all. I suppose it may have been more jealousy then anything, because the way shes acting I couldn't see it any other way, either jealous or ignorant, one!
Well my "friend" (no longer a friend) won't be able to contact me except through facebook messages. She can't see my wall and hasn'e been able to for awhile, and seems to have forgotten I have my phone cut back on. Either way, I don't like losing friends, but in this instance, it's much better then to have her dragging me down.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
3 Aug 11
Yeah, all I can do is be grateful I'm not her friend. I might go with her places sometimes, like to see other friends.. but not really wanting to do that either lol.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
2 Aug 11
I consider myself part of a minority, and insults are not uncommon to me. The thing that pisses me off, are people who hurl insults without even knowing what it really means.
I can hold my tongue too, but sometimes, enough just means enough.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
2 Aug 11
Okay, insults are fine, if it's in jest, I've done it myself, and only do it with people who know I jest. However there's a fine line between jesting and being serious, and she seems to always be serious.
I had "enough" and now she's even deleted from my friends list.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
30 Jul 11
Yes, it is so hard to judge from the outside that without knowing all the facts we probably should keep our mouth shut :D
I'm very hard on my self when I judge someone, I do that instinctly sometimes and when I'm aware I tell my self, who the hell you think you are and that is a slap that makes me stop right there.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
It is definitely hard not to judge sometimes, I like to believe I never judge but truth be told I do. It's not right for us to judge though. In fact, in this situation I am judging this "friend" a lot, but I am also taking from what I know of her, it's just... well It's better were not friends.
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
30 Jul 11
I am so tactless and I think I am like that sometimes, I admit that I've insulted many people most especially if it is really annoying. Sometimes I got too impatient and everyone feel that way sometimes...
I hope you and your friend can patch up things. Or better yes, tell her to slow down. Stay cool, and put a beautiful smile on your face. :)
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Jul 11
This situation is way beyond repair, and her insults are way beyond "not meaning to be" insulting. She's lost me as a friend, I don't have respect for her anymore.
