Me and my son's Principal...

Philippines
July 29, 2011 9:00pm CST
Mothers, what are your thoughts on this? My son was studying in this school for 3 years now. He basically started studying at this school as Preparatory, then Level 1 and this year he is on Level 2. My son is 6 years old turning 7 this December. I don't know what the matter is but lately, his principal keeps on bugging me for my son's behavior. So I go to the school one time so we could personally talk. She said that my son doesn't listen to his teacher, runs around the school premises during break, and doesn't finish goals. But on a brighter side, she said, that my son, when you mind him, or stay beside him, he finishes works swiftly and he is an intelligent kid compared to his classmates. The only problem that he gets late finishing his goals because he do something else when his teacher is not looking. The principal, politely suggested that I have my son diagnose with ADHD. So I've made some research about ADHD, even answered checklist online to gauge whether or not my son has it. But the checklist says most likely, the symptoms my son has is not ADHD. It doesn't mean that if my son manifest a symptom, he already has it. I've also consulted his pediatrician about this case and I was still referred to a Developmental Pediatric Specialist for full diagnosis. I just don't understand why after 3 years, the school is now complaining. Though I know that my son is a little naughty at times and really loves to roam around, I still perceive all this as normal for his age. Also, his pedia told me that if he really has ADHD, it should have manifested already at the age of 2 or 3 years old. Another thing I consider is that my son is a year advance on his level. He is just 6 and he is on level 2 when he is supposed to be at level 1 I believe. He may be a little late in physical maturity compared to his classmate which has the right age for their level. So after that one on one, just yesterday, his principal, again, reported to me that my son hurt one of his classmate. My son, out of nowhere will hurt his classmate?! This one really gets into my nerves... Really!!! It is only in school I have heard that silly report that my son hurts his classmates without any reason!I allowed my son to play outside the house and he has playmates here and he never gets into a fight. At church, on Sunday School, it is the same thing, never did I receive any comment about my son hurting other children. Why in the world, would my son do that only at school?! Most of the time, he's the one who will come running home crying telling how he and his playmate had this little misunderstanding. I just don't understand all of this! If his behavior is really like that, it should not only happen in one location, but every where! At home, school, church, playground, he will do it, he will hurt others any time, any where. Can a 6 year old be aware that "Hey I'm on church, I should not misbehave. Or hey I'm now at school, I can do whatever I want..." Do kids have this impulse? I love my son so much, and I stand on my feelings that he is a good boy. This is base on how I observe him everyday. I don't think it is fair to judge a naughty boy to have some sort of disorder (ADHD) without looking at other factors why he behave that way in school (if he really does, which I don't think so). I just felt sad of hearing from them that my son is different, because I don't see him that way. The rest of the family doesn't see him that way. My father said that maybe the school just doesn't like my son. Could it be the case? I've blatantly expressed my interest of sending my son to a different school next year to the principal and she seems to disagree with my decision because they want to help my child (that is what they are saying, but I am not seeing any inch of effort) they just want me to have him diagnose if he has ADHD to understand. The principal said that if he has no ADHD then we just have to discipline him. Why don't they start now when I am giving them that full authority? My aunt also said that my cousin is more than my son's behavior, but it soon changed. That's what I also remember about my cousin, I don't like him before because he is really this annoying... but I look at him now, soon, he will graduate college. I am a working mom and I send my son to what I thought was a good school, but it gives me so much stress right now. I am so stress I just want a harmonious relationship between the school (which I chose to be my son's second home/family) and me so we can work together in molding my son's social and mental development.... but I can't see this happening... sad
1 person likes this
2 responses
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
30 Jul 11
I feel that there is too much emphsis placed on labeling children. Like if you label them as ADD or ADHD as the case may be that the course of how to treat them is different. The first thing we did the last few years, before even trying to label the child, was to give an individual behavior plans with rewards and consequences and would see if that worked. Also, it seems like the school is comparing your son, who is a year behind age wise, with his older peers. he may be smart, but emotional growth does not have anything to do with academic growth. Between 6 and 8 years, is when children learn the expectations to sit for an extended period of time, with most students really starting to grasp that closer to the end of our 2nd grade (in the US) when students are closer to 7 1/2 or closing in on 8. I would not rush into labeling a child. Give it another year or so before really persuing any course of action.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
Thank you for the comment, Asyria51. You're right, that's what I felt too, that he is being compared to other's. It seems like the school has an expectation that all children behaves and act the same. I just felt that it is not right for my son to be labeled and singled out because he is different from the majority. I tried to explained this to the principal, since she is also aware that my son is younger compared to his peers, that maybe, it could be a factor. But she seems on rushing us to have my son diagnosed so they'll know how to deal with him.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Jul 11
my __january hiu my son did the same thing at that age and the school was all over mr to get him diagnosed with ADHd when we found out through the child psychiatrist that my son was gifted and bored in class as he already knew all his work. we put him in a gifted childrens private school and he really blossomed there.
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
Wow, nice to hear that your son is a gifted child. Putting him in a children's private school is a good thing as he will surely get the chance to enhance his potentials. Like what you said, he blossomed there. That's nice. I am trying to set an appointment with the specialist my son's pedia referred me to. I really wanted to know and understand what's really happening with my child. Thanks for the response!