Not a team player??

I think this is good too.. and I'm seriously considering suggesting to the guilty party that if they don't want to be with US, they can just leave and give us someone from the other team. It's not worth it to keep someone around if you know they don't really want to hang out with you, and you know THEY KNOW that YOU KNOW.

These are race teams... so not really work but we will have to spend about 48 hours together - in our respective groups. The thing that gets to me is that I cannot imagine anybody else from my specific team deciding to desert the rest of us this way. I would never do such a thing - in fact I was talking to a guy from the other team today and I told him as much as I want to hang out with them, I don't want to do it badly enough to screw MY team to do it. I think it's very rude to blow your own team off for another, no matter what your relationships to each other. I am thinking that I might ask that specific person just to swap with someone else. I want team members who are going to stick together in our group and do this together and not bail. At the end we can hang out together!

Ok, let me explain. If YOU are part of a 6 person team and ONE person constantly goes on about how much they enjoy the OTHER 6 person team and how they can't wait to hang out with them and not one nice word about how fun it's going to be spending time with the group they ARE WITH, wouldn't it make sense for them to swap and then spend the entire time with the group they prefer being with? It IS disloyal to act that way - PLUS both vans are not permitted to come into the exchanges so there would be little chance for us to recover our missing teammate. Only the van who actually has people running in it is allowed in the 6 exchanges they drop off and pick up runners from. This is not the first one of these I have done - I have one under my belt and one of the guys from the team has 3 under his. In fact, in our last one, he and his wife were in DIFFERENT VANS. Not ONCE did either of them complain or try to go get in the other van to spend more time with each other. I would have understood if they did but I don't think this is crummy behavior if you and your *spouse* go in different groups. Both of them remained in their respective vans and spent up time cheering and downtime WITH each of their respective groups, which is how it should be. I believe there are actually rules about this designed so that nobody goes missing or is late or that we have too many vans in a small area or too many people who are not actually RUNNING clogging up the exchanges. Anyway, this is not a matter of a spouse thing. This is a matter of someone who obviously seems to PREFER hanging out with the other group, and as such, a simple solution is to SWITCH to the group they want to hang out with rather than annoy, irritate, frustrate, and hurt the feelings of the group they were formerly part of but no longer seem to want to have anything to do with. I also did not appreciate the fact that this person tried to nail ME to the wall, knowing we were out with 2/3 of the group from the other van and *I* was the only member of MY current van there to represent how WE might feel. Of COURSE I said something, I already know how at least 3 other members would feel. That makes 4 out of 6 who would disagree with the one person's behavior. Like I said, NONE of US would EVER act that way or even SUGGEST it!! It wouldn't occur to us to abandon our group that way. So yes, I am still ticked. Believe me, if *I* had suggested doing that, SHE would accuse ME of ditching them. Trust me. It's only okay because it's HER idea to ditch.

Also, I thought I knew you at least a little bit - but honestly, I can say that *I* would never want someone hanging out with me 'out of obligation' or because they feel they 'have to'. If someone ACTS like it's that way or SAYS things that makes it sound or look that way, I don't WANT THEM HANGING OUT WITH ME. You spend time with me and a particular group of people if you WANT to, and as LONG as you want to, and then if you reach the point where you don't, then LEAVE. I don't want someone there who doesn't really WANT TO BE THERE. I have called out a few people on that and bottom line is they eventually admit they are only there out of obligation, because they promised somebody, etc. THIS is worse than deserting, because people who are not really where they want to be usually bring down morale and do not do their best because they really have no motivation TO do their best. That's why I suggested just swapping because I want every member of my group to be there because they want to be and not be biding their time, waiting to get elsewhere or be with other people. if you thought you were having a GREAT time with someone and found out later that they were only smiling and nodding and could not WAIT to get away from you, wouldn't that perhaps annoy you a LITTLE? Well it annoys me A LOT. It's very two faced and double standard and basically lying.