Would you fall in love with someone way older or younger than your age?
By ellovire
@ellovire (409)
August 2, 2011 11:47am CST
I recently attended a wedding. The groom is a friend of my daddy. so he must be like 58 years old like my dad, or 60 years old maybe. The bride is, guess what? My classmate in highschool! So she must be my age (which I do not want to reveal, hahaha!!) or so. Anyways, what I am trying to say is that their age gap is quite big. I mean, the groom can be the bride's father already, right? Since the groom is the same age as my dad, and the bride is the same age as I am (go figure).
During the wedding, I heard different speculations that the bride is just after the groom's money. Or the bride is looking only for a father figure. That's so unfair for me. I mean, who are they to judge? What if they really love each other, right?
But then it made me think also, since I am not on the bride's shoes. Is it really possible to fall in love with someone way older (or younger) your age?
12 people like this
37 responses
@moneywinner (1864)
• Brazil
2 Aug 11
I think that for some persons this is possible, like everybody say: you don't chose who you love, right?
But, for me, at least right now, this seems impossible to happen. I have 23 years and I really can't imagine myself with a 60 years guy. I guess it would be really weird since I think that I would always remember of my dad and that's not a good picture to remember when you are with your boyfriend.
2 people like this
@ellovire (409)
•
3 Aug 11
hi moneywinner! I understand why you cannot imagine being in a relationship with a 60 year old guy. But then again, when your heart finally decides who to love, age will not be the deciding factor anymore. Love can really be so powerful that it does not consider age when falling in love.
1 person likes this
@smashville14 (278)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
and it would be quite awkward too I guess when you and (just an example) your 60 year old boyfriend are walking in a park and you came across a college friend of yours and he would immediately say "oh you must be her father, nice to meet you." lol
1 person likes this
@koperty3 (1876)
•
2 Aug 11
My partner is 10 years my senior. We always joking that I'm 10 years old his senior. I don't see this difference. Few years ago I had accident. Since that time I have problems with walking. I use walking stick. Also after medications I gain few pounds. When we came together to my native country because I needed professional physio we lived in my partner mother flat. She lives in huge building with many neighbours. I remember one time I came out on the balcony to smoke and I've heard conversation of two neighbours of my partner's mother. They Talked about me and my partner. They said that I will destroy his life. That he is so handsome and I'm so ugly after accident. That I shouldn't be with him. How would you feel on my place?
I wish you lovely day my friend!
1 person likes this
@ellovire (409)
•
2 Aug 11
How bad of them to talk about you and your partner!! And they do not know you that well, so they do not have the right to say that you will destroy your partner's life. Don't mind them my dear. These are all nonsense thought created by people with no depth.
Anyways, thanks for the response my friend... and may you and your partner stay in love always.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
3 Aug 11
I can't imagine why your friend would want a man old enough to be her dad. I hope it works out well for her.
@ellovire (409)
•
3 Aug 11
She is not a friend of mine, we were just classmates in highschool. I actually do not know her that well, and I was kinda surprised when I saw her walking down the aisle to meet her groom. I even had to double-check if that was really her. That was really her! LOL. I cannot blame what others might think of her motive of marrying a man that is old enough to be her father.
1 person likes this
@anurag3786 (6267)
• India
3 Aug 11
I think age is not matter in love. Because love is a sacred feelings which you can only feel. And it is not matter your lover is younger than you or older than you. But it is important that this relationship made by both side with respect and believe. Because if there is respect and believe in love then it would be stands forever. So age is not matter in love.
1 person likes this
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
3 Aug 11
To be quite honest,i won't fell in love with a man that is much older than me.For maybe we don't have too much topics.I can accept that he is 4-5 years older than me..And i think love do not means fair or not,it just means that the two are falling in love and connect each other.So just bless them.
1 person likes this
@ellovire (409)
•
3 Aug 11
Me too! I cannot imagine talking about Harry Potter, or Justin Bieber,or Snoop dog with someone who is as old as my dad. LOL!
My husband is two years my senior and sometimes we run out of topics to talk about because sometimes my likes are not his likes. What more with someone who is like 30 to 40 years older than me, right? I might be talking about Harry Potter, he might be talking about Casa Blanca!
@mantis36 (4219)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
for the others, i don't think so....
but for me, i want the boy is older 10 years gap to a girl.
source?
boys debut is 24 years old
girls debut is 18 years old
at least 6 years of gap
but 10 years gap is a must hehehehe
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
Hello ellovire!
If I were there in the wedding, I would probably speculate about it, too. Because a May-December love affair is so rare! I mean, love between two people with a huge age gap seldom happens or probably even rare. I cannot even imagine myself falling for someone a lot older than me or even a lot younger than me. I can be friends with older people but to be romantically involved with them? Impossible! ^^ I just think a young person and an old one will not be compatible. They come from a very different generations.
Maybe you can ask your classmate what made her fell in love with your dad's friend? So we could have an idea as to what it's like.
1 person likes this
@anil02 (24688)
• India
3 Aug 11
If some one love then no question about age cast colour, body shape or education etc. But you are writing here about a marriage where grooms is too much older then bribe. What is the fact it is know only groom and bribe, chances of success of this type of marriage is not good.
1 person likes this
@ellebj (784)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
i have loved a person before that is a year older than me, but i don't find younger because we are classmates.. but that is long ago.. now, i love ans still loving my boyfriend who is 5months younger than me.. not bad right? we don't have a choice, i was born earlier than him but it was on the same year..
i think, if the bride do it for money, maybe at that wedding she was not happy nor find something from her that she is ridiculed or disgusted of her husband.. maybe she is the type that she wanted an older one for her because of its fatherly instincts.. there are really people who marry someone that is like a father to them because they are finding them.. there is something in there childhood that makes them choose and love man that seems to be a father to them.. there is psychological explanations to it..
@06MLam (620)
•
3 Aug 11
Not sure but I have met quite a number of couples like this. My piano teachers are one of the couples like this. The female is about 40 but her husband is older than 70. They are both my piano teachers. Every one say the same thing as what you have heard during the wedding about my piano teachers. For me, I do not talk about them around because I respect them. Maybe the female admired her husband as he is a very good musician who can play 7 instruments and is very good at Judo. Anyway, they are like any other couples except their age.
@smashville14 (278)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
when it's love, it's love... I do have my share of relationship with an older woman (about 5 years older than I was before) and also with a much younger woman (around 7 years younger) and she is my wife actually. But let's say I am not married now, I am not looking forward to fall in love with a much, way older woman, haha... but who know's? like I said, if it's love then it is love. I would prefer though to fall in love with a younger woman, even way younger woman (just as long as they're in their legal age)...I think most men would do.
1 person likes this
@moneywinner (1864)
• Brazil
2 Aug 11
I guess that the majority of the men prefer younger women too.
But, in your case, the difference is not that big. I totally would date someone 7 years older, but 30 years older is a different case.
1 person likes this
@catof1 (683)
• United States
2 Aug 11
Well I married someone 15 years older than me and I love him to pieces. I could not have married him for his money as he has none, actualy out of a job right now sad face. But we mesh very well and seem to be doing well. He loves me and I love him. I gues that is all that counts in the end
1 person likes this
@ellovire (409)
•
2 Aug 11
LOve is all that matters. This might sound so old-school, but that's what really counts, right? Other people just cannot seem to understand that age has nothing to do with your feelings. If you love the person, age will not matter at all.
Thanks for the response dear! Stay in love!
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
I married a man who is 6 years older than me, and I think it's not an issue that he is older... I have a friend who also married an older man, the man was even older than her dad.. I can't tell her not to marry the man because it's her life. But as a friend, I did told her to be ready to hear whispers from left and right. I told her its not normal in our society to marry a man older than your father and then tell everybody, " Hey I found true love. "
we dont have rights to judge other people.Let's just wish them happiness.
1 person likes this
@flowerfest08 (1677)
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3 Aug 11
i think it's posible that they love each other, just like my aunt her husband is 15 yrs older tha she is, but we can tell that they love each other and have 2 kids now... and she always told us that she prefer older man than a man on her age.
1 person likes this
@ellovire (409)
•
3 Aug 11
There is no issues with lovers who have age gap of ten to twenty years... but having a relationship with someone who can be considered as your father already, say 30 to 40 years gap, now that is a different story. Unless this thing is common to the society they are in. It really could be possible to find love to a person way older than you are (again, the 30 to 40 year gap), but it will never be easy.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
4 Aug 11
Personally people that are always saying things like this, have never put themselves in the other persons shoes and thought... Love can happen to any 2 people no matter what the age. When I was 23 I fell for a 56 yr. old, and we dated almost a yr. He was 13 yrs. older than my Mom even. She had a hard time dealing with it, as a lot of other people so I can understand the thoughts here.
But personally there is nothing wrong with 2 people falling in love that are at least 20 yrs. a part or so. When 2 people Love each other and want to get married all I can say is hopefully it will always work out, and be good for the 2 of them. Just wish them the Best and support them and always hope for the Best. Love should be appreciated at any age.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
Love is blind. Love is mysterious. Love is love...anyway, i agree on the part of we do not have to judge the bride unless we have a mini chat with her and asked her by looking in the eyes if she is telling what she is feeling. I judge them inside me. I do not let other people know . That is also what I think, the girl is after his money. About falling in love older than me or younger, if love strikes me why not. I know it will be love if that person is the only person I am thinking when I wake up in the morning, when I feel i have to wake up because I have purpose and goal and that is to marry and love that person. Regardless of age or big gaps. But part of it is be open minded to criticism that you will received with so many people. Because sometimes people see the other people's dirt rather themselves.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
I think I will get blinded by the money too as i am poor too if I were in the girls position. For sure i will set aside pride. Anyway, I am not getting there.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
You are right,who are they to judge your friend for whatever reason she married her husband?
Age is just a number and I believed in it.
When we are younger we always wanted to have same age or a bit difference when we want to love someone.
But we never realized that age is only a number unless we become a little older.
besides,who are they to conclude whatever reason the bride has in mind for marrying an older groom?
It is her life,her choice and her body.
let's respect her decision ...it is her happiness that matters.
@ellovire (409)
•
3 Aug 11
Jaiho, we also cannot help others to think otherwise because in the real world, younger ones marry the older ones because of money and comfort. But I am not saying that this is true for everybody. I sincerely hope that my former classmate's marriage to the old man will last, and may she be happy with the decision of marrying him. I may not know her personally, since we really are not friends, but I wish her well.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
4 Aug 11
Friends when we fall in love I have not seen anything because love is blind and no matter of age for love. But if age gap is big no chance of love and not should they fall in love. Like 20yrs girls and 50 yrs boy it is illegal and if they fall in love they are foolish. This is not love this is enforcement of girl for marriage.
@APSC_girl (118)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
it is so possible! It is possible if the older guy is definitely attractive. It's not hard to fall for them. When I was 17, I had a very big big crush on a 50 year old guy. I think there's nothing impossible, really. Especially if that girl sees so many good and positive things about that older man. And yeah, who are we to judge, right? I think that girl you're talking about is really in love with him.