What would your instincts be?

As one who has raised three kids and has a 9 y/o I can tell you I have learned the best thing is to talk to your teens and not just once or twice,. but really talk, get to know them, their likes, dislikes, and most importantly their habits..When you know someone really well, then you can spot if there are changes in what they do, say, or react to situations..This will clue you in that something has changed and if I can't get my teen to talk, I will encourage them to find another trustworthy adult or I would do some snooping..Which isn't much, since we only have one computer, my son already knows I check the history and we can't afford a phone for him and if I happen to see something while cleaning up his mess, well either he should have cleaned it up himself or found some help before it got that far..(The latter example is an experience I had with one of my older kids, found something she had written that wasn't good because she wouldn't clean her room)

Well, personally I think all parents no matter how close they are, and age, etc. will often have a different point of view then their children. The Best thing to do when you start suspecting something is go to them, ask them some questions, choosing not to get upset and Trust them in wanting to confide in you in everything as well. They are more likely to want to tell you things when they know a parent will not get upset and sometimes less likely to get into real danger out there as well.

I always wanted to trust my daughter for her to tell me the truth about everything, no matter what. She chose to do just the opposite though. She lies to me about anything and everything every time she opens her mouth. I love her and will never understand it. She knows she can talk to me about anything and if we disagree on something, I am more than willing to work something out with her but she could care less.

When, and if, I have children, I would hope that they would know that they could come talk with me about anything that was bothering them. I wouldn't invade their privacy, unless there was something going on that required an intervention (i.e., an eating disorder). In which case, I would do whatever was necessary to get my child the help (s)he needed--even if (s)he was angry with me in the short-term for "invasion of privacy." Of course, I want a close-knit family unit, and I plan to homeschool. I also want for them to be active in various community organizations and things such as dance and music. Hopefully, they will embrace these positive ways of growing and exploring who they are (which is a big part of adolescence) and not feel the need to take darker paths. Parents who seek to keep their children on short leashes usually just ensure that their children will end up doing all sorts of things to break away. For example, the girl with the ultra-strict religious father who won't let her associate with boys will likely become the campus wh*** when she goes to college.

For me just follow of what my parents law to me but when in get married I just follow my heart alone but I'm not said not happy of what Ive done.

mine aren't teenages any more. but one was so good, and wants to be a vicar i don't have to worry about her, and the other is far more of a social animal and likes to go out to a club, or to socialise, but she is a chatterbox, and so when she has a problem i am usually the one she rings first. if she stopped telling me about her problems i would start to worry. but she's older and more sensible now anyway. communication between parents and teenagers can be difficult. but i don't think i would spy on them. my sister used to do some naughty things when she was a teenager, but my mother would go to bed and pretend it wasn't happening, until she did such naughty things the police came round. but then, when my mother was young she was waiting for a boyfriend to come and meet her and he never turned up, because he had been killed in a motorbike accident, and i think my mother may have gone to bed because she was too scared to wait up for my sister to come in. i used to wait for my daughter, but i used to worry a lot, but she was very chatty, so in a way i didn't need to, because she told me everything. i think good communication is the real answer.

Ya know, it really depends... My brother was TROUBLE, if they had a way to spy on him, it might've kept him out of some of the trouble he got into. However, since I was pretty much in my room when I wasn't at school, I was no trouble at all. Now, my sister was always busy, but you could predict where she was, swimming or girl scouts or school or whatever... so, I really think it depends on the child

I have never encounter such these things,my mom and dad always respect me. I think this maybe depend on parents' personnality. Some parents are gentle,but others are strong. They think their children should be controlled by them.So they will spy them.And I think we hard to change their idea. Because it is deep in their mind.