Are they my friends or are just using me?
By kwylima
@kwylima (451)
United States
August 2, 2011 8:23pm CST
Hi My friends! I am really happy to be here sharing everything I feel like to share!
Today it is : I love when there are people around me.I try really hard to please everybody. I know That can sound like crazy but sometimes I feel like everybody wants to be around me just to ask for some favor. I love people how I said before but sometimes it is too much!
Do you ever feel like me before? Maybe they don’t like me and they are just using me to make favor all the time.
Did you feel like that before???
let's share!
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5 people like this
27 responses
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
3 Aug 11
There are plenty of people in this world would do the same thing. When they need you, they will be nice to you. When they don't need you, they simply see you invisible, treat you like dirt. That is how the reality is. We should be take protection of ourselves, and never fall in trap of those mean people.
@puccagirl (7294)
• Israel
3 Aug 11
I have that feeling with some people as well, not really close friends, thankfully, but some friends and co workers. In some cases, I think I am right, but in some cases I think I might be judging people based on things other people did before them. So my advice for you would really to be a bit careful, but not too careful, because that takes a lot of energy as well. And judge every person based on their actions, on not based on what other people said or did.
1 person likes this
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
4 Aug 11
Most people do not like to be the one someone is buttering up in hopes of receiving a special favor. In the military buttering up one's superior in hope of receiving a good efficiency report or some other favor is called brown noseing. The sad thing is that it frequently works.
@destructobgX (133)
•
3 Aug 11
Well there are 2 sides of this i mean the positive site for you has a lower percentage because i don't they they will be such good friends if you think of them like that .Positive side maybe your friends think you are really skillful and they can count on you very much so you are the man that they can to for their problems to and you can help them with everything.The not positive side well they are using you and .....
1 person likes this
@pretiNAS (66)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
Sometimes whom we considered friends are not really our friends. They became our friends because they do have hidden agenda over you or simply they are using you. Like being popular in school, a lot of students want to be close to you for them to be popular as well. Or if your rich, for them to be looked rich and ask money from you but the fact is, they are just social climbers. And also if your intelligent, they can use your brain in exams for them to pass. And as what you said they want to be with you JUST to ask for some favor, that would mean you're like their secretary or housemaid and it's not good cause i think if they are your true friends then they won't do that, they want to be with not because they want to ask a favor from you but because they really want to be with you 'coz they find you as a real friend.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Aug 11
kwylima hi I have a few times but I really learned that they were just fair
weather friends, When they did not need whatever I could do to help they pretended not to know me anymore. Now I am lucky with the friends I have and I would rather have a few real true friends whom I know are real friends to me and to whom I can be a real friend than a ton of fair weather friends.![](/Content/images/emotes/hugs.gif)
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@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
3 Aug 11
Sure, I think we have all felt like that about people at one time or another. The best test to realize if someone is true friend or a user is to know weather or not they would do the same for you if you asked them. I think a friendship has to be equal. We have friends we have had for many years. We all help each other out from time to time, and the helping is equal. Sometime we will need help and sometimes they will and we are both always there for each other. If you can depend on someone as much as they depend on you then they are true friends. If however, you are the only one giving then they are just users.
@webgirl01 (689)
• United States
3 Aug 11
Hey there! I think I feel the same as you. I do try really hard to please people. Either some people like me and some people don't and i guess that's life. Not all will like you. Yeah I have some friends that are too attached and they get annoying. I do try to get along with people just like you. I did feel what you feel somewhat. I realized on my part - people can just use you to do stuff. It sucks they may take advantage of your niceness. I can feel people don't like if i sense they think I'm either too weird, ackward, annoying, etc. Some people can also be too distant as well. I sometimes don't know either whether people are using me or friends. sometimes when you get know your friends, you feel they just use you or boss you around or even talk about you in not so good way. If some people always ask you favors and you don't feel like doing it, then don't do it.
What favors are those they ask you?
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
3 Aug 11
Friend I experience some people only use us so I hate now offline friends. My one girlfriend used me only for study purpose and after solving purpose she called me and tell dont call next time and our friendship is end because I make friends you only for study purpose. I faced this incident two times and I never forget that event in my life. So really true friend is not in the real world but in virtual world lots of good friends are here.
@polaris77 (2040)
• Bacau, Romania
3 Aug 11
The world is full of such people who are around us and behave friendly simply because they want to take advantage of us,so I think it's better to choose our friends wisely and have less people around us;if a person is surrounded by many people all the time,it is very hard for that person to get to know many of them and understand what their true intentions are.
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
I did felt like that before. And the moment I felt being taken for granted, when too much really got too much. I left everything, telling myself, I don't need people who know me only when they need me. That has been a lesson for me. It made me choose friends... and keep only real friends.
@lbygyh970855 (237)
• China
3 Aug 11
Sometimes I do. I feel it is really hard to have a true friend, even a friend that I can talk to about everything. My principle is select. If I feel the friend is not worth it, I will forget him or her.
@JudgeIronFist (2472)
• Singapore
3 Aug 11
Like what kingparker has said, there are plenty of people like this in this world and that is very true. For me, I have encountered many of these people and what I do is just to accept the hard truth, that the society is like that. It's nothing more than a realistic society. Friends will help each other out in dark times, give motivation to their fellow friends and do what befits a true friend. A piece of advise for you, be wary of the people who you make friends with, if possible, look at their expression and daily behavior. These come into good use whether you can make them your friends or not. I simply just hate how people can make use of each other and act as if nothing happened. The worst is that they can act nice and then pretend not to see you when you need their help. I hate these people but what can I do? One thing though, it works for sure. Give it back to them what they did to you. Let them have a taste of their own medicine.
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
What kind of favor do they ask of you?
. Well if that is always the scenario, that people are just around when they needed something then its sad if they abuse your kindness and generosity.
You will know who's really a good friend from those who are only for a ride and take advantage of your friendship. So be careful, not all people are the same and please stop pleasing anyone, you cannot do that. Even if you do your 101%, you can't please anybody. Don't expect too much so that you won't get hurt also, especially by what you called "friends".
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@flzmlady (418)
• China
3 Aug 11
I don't know, but I have similar experience with you.
I remember whenI was young and my family was poor, no one ever cares about me; But when I am older and my family become better in finance, I found that many people who used to turn their backs to me began to smile and speak nicely to me.
I just feel disgusted.
@jolore (11)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
Good for YOU!...so you've been giving all the time. That means you are very charitable and loving.... that's a virtue of a true christian. But don't feel bad about it, I think they've seen you the only person to ask for favor. I would say, pray for wisdom, for you to know, of what, when, to give and the right words to say no if you can't...
@thetis74 (1525)
•
3 Aug 11
Yes. I have a friend who is like that. At least she is the only bad friend I have. Another friend told me said she wants me around her because she can borrow anything and can give her anything that I don't need anymore.she is very good in front of me and talks lies about me to other people. So I avoided her because I realized I don't need a friend like that. She has been like that ever since and I have forgiven her many times but she never changed. We are still kind of friends but I just don't feel like hanging with her anymore with all the plasticity.
@idiotsavant (10)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
SO a 'friend' feels that the people around him/her are just using him/her
What that tells me is the uncertainty of the person to get involved with the said 'friends'. It is either that there is a reason for doubt due to behaviour observed or that the person is just a bit too afraid.
But.... let me just tell you to ask yourself the most important question (I think):
"Are you a real friend or are you jsut socializing a little bit?"
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