Had a great idea for Mom's memorial but I need suggestions
By dragon54u
@dragon54u (31634)
United States
August 2, 2011 8:38pm CST
I thought that giving each attendee a sheet to fill out would help with the grief and also make a wonderful keepsake that I could distribute after I collected all the sheets and got them copied and bound.
My idea was to have questions the friends and relative would answer. I came up with what song or songs remind you of her and describe a favorite memory.
After those two questions, my mind is blank. I've been thinking about this for two days and I can't come up with more than these two questions.
Does anyone have any suggestions? What would you like to know about what people thought about your loved one? Thanks for any help!
3 people like this
6 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
3 Aug 11
Oh that is a fantastic idea! I don't think I'd ask specific questions because that kind of limits their thoughts. I think I would just ask everyone to share favorite memories and what impact she had on their lives. I'll bet everyone knew your mom in different ways. Some might remember her personality and how she brightened their life while others will have some very wonderful memories. I'd probably ask them all to pretend they were writing the euology, what would you have to say about my mother?
1 person likes this
@lilbabycatapillar (497)
• United States
3 Aug 11
How did they meet them, or how did they know her, would be a good one. Some of her best features, and best things about her personality.
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
3 Aug 11
I did not think of that, thank you so much! There won't be many friends because she outlived most of them but the family will be able to answer the feature and personality traits. I think this compilation will be a treasure to all of us. Thank you!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
3 Aug 11
Maybe ask for their earliest memories of her.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
3 Aug 11
Do you associate any particular dish or meal with her? How about flowers and your mom. This could be a great idea to make conversation as well. I know that I was thrilled once when I came across a restaurant that made food that tasted like my grandmother's food.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
3 Aug 11
Wow, you've hit a big thing--she was such a wonderful cook and so willing to try new things! I remember one night when we sat down to dinner to see a cow's tongue on a platter. Everyone went to bed hungry that night. It looked so disgusting!! But we were poor and I guess it was on sale. She didn't buy anything else that week so I guess we had that tongue in soup, stew and anything else she could think of! 
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
3 Aug 11
That's a must, thank you! I have no idea what impact she had on others but everyone loved her so much. I'll enjoy reading those memories.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11834)
•
3 Aug 11
It's a lovely idea, but I think you need to keep it simple and just ask for nice memories or thoughts. You could use songs or other ideas as prompts, but I think I would struggle to come up with a song which reminded me of most of the people I know.
Some people get scared by sheets to fill in, so the less questions it contains, the better. It also allows people to be more creative with their ideas. Some may prefer to include a sketch, for instance.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
3 Aug 11
You're right about a lot of questions, I just need to know the right ones to ask. We're a very musical family even though not all of us play an instrument. It seems that we all use songs to relate to events in our lives and strangely enough, most of us agree on how a certain song makes us feel. For instance, I was visiting my nephew and his family a month ago and we all agreed that Shine On by Pink Floyd was my mom's song even though she'd never heard it. Someone else mentioned Alan Parson's Old and Wise and we all agreed it was perfect. The amazing thing is that about half the people there weren't even born when the song was published.
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
3 Aug 11
That's a good one! I really appreciate everyone contributing, I have a lot of ideas now and I'll pick 3-4. I don't want the memorial to turn into a bunch of people writing.
