giving a present away, was it proper or not, please enlighten me
By bamikalipal
@bamikalipal (588)
Philippines
August 2, 2011 11:28pm CST
A Filipino friend heartily gave me a rice cooker as a present, when I moved to a different apartment. I greatly appreciate the gesture. But, I rarely eat rice and had no practical use for it. A Hawaiian friend makes steamed rice without a rice cooker. Another friend needed a rice cooker very badly. I wasn't using mine and it was still in its box. I decided to give it to this friend who needed it. I had ambiguous feelings about what I did: guilty, at the same time, I felt that it's pointless to hold on to something that I'm not using, I actually thought that giving it away was more realistic.
2 people like this
12 responses
@polaris77 (2040)
• Bacau, Romania
3 Aug 11
I think you did the right thing,it was pointless to keep that rice cooker as long as you didn't need it,at least it's useful for me.Of course,I don't know what your Filipino friend might think about your gesture,I hope that he won't feel offended and understand that its better for that rice cooker to be used by someone.Personally,if I gave a present to a friend and fount out that it was given to someone else who needed it badly I wouldn't mind at all.
1 person likes this
@bamikalipal (588)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
Thank you polaris77, what a relief to know that someone pronounced me, 'not guilty.'
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Aug 11
hi bamikalipal I think you were very logical. after all it was given to you so now its is yours., therefore it is your right to do whatever best suits you with regard to the present. to sit unused is a waste and if someone else could really use it, and you wished to give it to them, why not? It makes good sense to me and the gift giver will probably never know anyway
'and perhaps is he or she did he or she would understand fully why you did that. nothing to feel guilty about myfriend.
@bamikalipal (588)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
Gee, thanks Hatley, you made me feel so much better! God bless you and may the world have more of your kind.
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
3 Aug 11
It can and does give rise to mixed feelings when you decide to pass on a gift to someone else that is ultimately of no use to you...As long as you accepted the gift in the spirit it was intended and thanked your friend for it (Did you know you were getting a rice cooker? was it gift wrapped?) then when it's yours,it's yours to do with it as you want..and gifting it on to a friend you know can use it and will in turn appreciate the gift can only be a good thing!
@bamikalipal (588)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
hi ShepherdSpy. Thanks a lot for your sensible input. No, I didn't know what it was, but I told the giver how much I appreciated the kind gesture. Yes, it was wrapped. As soon as I read the suggestions of our fellow mylotters, I let the giver know about it, who also thought that it was a good idea and happy that someone is enjoying it now. What a relief!
@bamikalipal (588)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
Thank you, 06MLam, you've made me feel better! Yes my friend knew about it and said it was okay, but asked me if I'd love to have something else. My reply was that the gesture of heartily giving it to me was more than enough and I'll keep the memory of it in my heart for as long as I live.
@grammasheshe (80)
• United States
3 Aug 11
I think you made the right move! Why hold on to something that you don't use or never will? I am the same way...I just gave away a bunch of my wind chimes yesterday because where I moved to I can not hang them. I held on to them for two years because I loved them. Then yesterday a friend of mine said she wanted to buy some and I told her I had some! Hence I gave them all to her for her to enjoy! It made me feel good and I know I made her happy.
@bamikalipal (588)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
Good for you, grammasheshe! One magnanimous deed returns to you a hundredfold or more. The wind chimes were yours and you were free to give it away. Unlike me, the rice cooker was a gift. But, as soon as I read the suggestion of some our fellow mylotters, I let the giver know about it, who also thought that what I did was perfectly fine and was happy to know that someone else is using and enjoying it now. Wow, more heads are always better than one, helpful suggestion. I also told my friend that the memory of the gift will always remain in my heart. God bless you always grammashehse and may their be more of your kind.
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
in my point of view if i am in this situation i would rather give it to someone who really needs. i wont use it then let someone else be happy to use it. i would rather give something away than having something that has no use for me. i am sure the person who gave this to you would understand and i am sure the friend who will receive this will be delighted. and maybe have you taste the meals that he/she will be cooking har har har. so dont feel bad you are just being reasonable.
@bamikalipal (588)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
Thanks se7enthbird! As a matter of fact, she was and she did. It was yummy.
@meticulo (1286)
• United States
3 Aug 11
Hi there bamikalipal! If we have to think at it in a proper perspective it's really not good if we give away presents from other people. Why? It might be very precious to them but they give it to you because you are more precious to them. But for practical reason, it may be good to give it away to be of use rather than to hide it unused. It's purpose will be forfeited. It's just normal to feel guilty. I guess it will be good if you let him know you have given it away and explain why you have done it rather than if he knows it from other people or he will discover that it's gone when he ask you for it.
@bamikalipal (588)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
Thanks a lot for sharing your opinion and giving a sensible suggestion. Yes, I will let the nice giver know about what I did. Have a nice day meticulo.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
Well, technically, if someone gave you a present, that present is yours already so you're free to give it to anyone else. I agree, it's pointless to hold on to something that you're not using anymore so giving it would make it seem valuable rather than just keeping it while it collects more dust.
@mickitiro (26)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
I agree with you it was more realistic. Yes it was a gift and it was intended to cook rice which you obviously rarely do; so it would have gone to waste if it was left to sit in its box forever! Yes it was the most practical, realistic and proper thing to do. I would do exactly the same thing if I were in your shoes.
@bamikalipal (588)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
Thank you for thinking the way that I did, mickitiro. You have just absolved me from my feeling of ambivalent guilt. I've always asked myself, "was it proper or wasn't it?
@Voices (153)
• Singapore
3 Aug 11
I would give away the present to those who need it if I have no use for it. You don't have to feel guilty because it's a fact that you don't really use it so it will be a waste if you just kept it in your storeroom. I agree with you that giving it away was a more realistic decision. :)
@jdex_143 (1093)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
Personally, if I give something to someone and then when I find out that he/she gave it to another person, certainly, I would feel bad. I would think that I won't give anything to him/her again, ever.
Well, that will differ from person to person. I don't know if the one who gave you that present will feel bad about what you did. But you had a point, though. Why would you keep something that you won't use, right? So better give it away to utilize it. I think, you just have to let that friend of yours know what you did and make him/her understand why you gave it away. :)
