In-laws!
By rawar31
@rawar31 (112)
Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
August 3, 2011 12:36am CST
My husband son and I moved to live with my mom, sis and nephew almost one year ago because I am studying medicine away and my son is only two and my husband works from 6 in the morning so cant drop him to daycare.I appreciate they allow us to be here but they expect us to pay -ALL the bills and buy ALL the food, and when we say no to this, they act up.We decided to buy the food for everyone which is 6 people and 2 dogs and that is about half my husbands salary every month, plus we have our own expenses to pay(daycare,transport,loans).We wana move ut cant find any within our budget or a new job for my husband that pays more and starts at 8 am.
Has anyone ever been in a situation where if you side with you relatives, you neglect your husband, or viceversa, because thats how I feel. I feel like I'm losing( or lost) my mom and my sis's love due to their greed.
6 responses
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
3 Aug 11
All the bills seems rather a lot, and it seems like it would actually be cheaper for you to move out. Maybe instead of your son going to daycare, you could hire a nanny?
@rawar31 (112)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
3 Aug 11
Thanks to all for your responses. We just have to look for a job for my husband that has a workable time. Plus nannies are more expensive than daycare where i come from. The good news is that even though my son is just two, he is really highly mature for his age( maybe like a 4 o 5 year old) so he's being promoted again, this time to preschool in september and that cost should be a bit cheaper than daycare cost.
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
I always think that living with in laws
or relatives
is nit easy. we dot have that problem about
who pays
the
bills but its still not easy. the best place
for married people is to live separately from everyone. living wit inlaws sometimes cant make
me breathe. sometimes i cant decide for myself, my
husband and i cant decide for us. we just cant do anythng as like we want. its
not easy but
its something
we have to deal with because we have no choice in this time. but if ever we really have a chance to move out... then we did.
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
I didn't encountered this problem but my sister is. Honestly, I pity her in this kind of setup. Her husband is the only one working and they have two small child. they chose this kind of setup because her husband thinks that it is healthy for their two kids to have other people in the house other than them. But my sister thinks that they have less expenses when they will separate from her inlaws and have a household help. Her companion in the house is her inlaws, brother and sister in law. Though they are also earning,the husband of my sister shoulder all the expenses because her husband is earning more. That is the reason why they don't have savings and sometimes, the husband is working overtime.
@flowerfest08 (1677)
•
3 Aug 11
maybe you need to move out, because if they want you to pay all the bills and buy the food for everyone, maybe that's more expensive than just renting and live separately from them. that's the best thing to do so you'll have a peace of mind.
@mhelsdelacruz (160)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
You cant deny the fact because your staying in your parents home they will demand something like paying all the bills and buying foods good for the whole household members.but this is so unfair not just because your family lived their and you pay all the expenses. .why don't you talk to them like sharing the bills payments and the food expense..if they object you better find now an apartment where your family can lived so that you can moved put at your parents house. .living at your own with your own expense is a big savings you can have. .
@jmay1226 (97)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
Maybe it is better since you already have your own family, you should move out. You should live on your own house. Because for me staying together in one roof with our relatives will cost us a lot because we cannot deny the fact that if we are buying something they should have it two. I think you can save on your earnings if you will live in separate house/home. It is not your obligation to pay all the bill in the house.. sharing is the best way for it.. if not then move out. Yes; we do love our relative and family but we should also bare in mind that we are now on our new stage of life.. having our own family and raising our own kid.
