Key Elements of a Good Coonversation
By Ram Bansal
@rambansal (574)
India
August 4, 2011 3:41am CST
To begin with, the most important element of a good conversation is listening to others rather than speaking out. This makes it easier to understand others to readjust your behavior accordingly, and getting expertise faster by getting experiences of others. But there are persons who never stop talking and provide opportunity to others. Such persons are to be told of their mistake or be boycotted from a useful conversation.
During a conversation, there are some key words which need be used freely, the most important being sorry, thanks and please, etc which upgrade your status among the conversing parties. Saying sorry does not mean that you always accept your mistake and retrieve on your stand. But it means that you don't intend to hurt others and are willing to respect them. This earns you more respect.
Use of 'no' is a tactical matter, one should understand. It is meant for not accepting other's view. Not to hurt the other, the denial may begin with 'yes, but I beg to differ a little bit' instead of saying a abrupt 'no'.
2 people like this
10 responses
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
4 Aug 11
Hi rambansal 
I think a bit of politeness, honesty and genuineness always make great discussions. Discussions or converstations may never be a way to get conclusions - if participants realize this, they can always have great conversations.
I think a bit of politeness, honesty and genuineness always make great discussions. Discussions or converstations may never be a way to get conclusions - if participants realize this, they can always have great conversations.1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
so as you my dear brother 
maybe ram is trying to give us some lecture intended for company employees (hehehe)
not for mylotters 
maybe ram is trying to give us some lecture intended for company employees (hehehe)
not for mylotters 
@marguicha (222809)
• Chile
5 Aug 11
I think that I have never thought of those points while conversing, even though I´m very much interested in language.
For me the most important points are not the rethorics of a discourse as form instead of content. More important is to approach the other with respect for his views and with the willingness of learning something from them. Some people don´t say the "no" word, but you can see it his eyes or body posture that, while you are talking, they are not listening but preparing to refute you. I have learned to smile to them, to say I agree to everyone of their wise words and to leave their company as soon as possible.
I cannot talk with people that feel they are the owners of the univrsal truth, no matter how they word it.
I cannot talk with people that feel they are the owners of the univrsal truth, no matter how they word it.1 person likes this
@marguicha (222809)
• Chile
5 Aug 11
As I get more into talking through internet, I have discovered that there is a sort of "body language" here too. Although this virtual conversation it is made by words, we cannot forget that language is lineal while thought isn´t. So what they choose to say first means a lot in these cases
@rambansal (574)
• India
5 Aug 11
Yes, dear Marguicha, I missed to mention use of 'body language' in a conversation which forms more than 50 percent of the face-to-face communication. Thanks for mentioning this and reminding me, and of course for enriching the discussion with your wisdom.
@Soleil05 (136)
• United States
5 Aug 11
These seem like some simple basics that sound like common sense, however in a heated discussion or debate or even just a regular conversation these things are so easily overlooked or ignored. It seems difficult for some people to listen carefully, really listen without spacing out or interrupting the person who's talking, or simply ignoring the things being said and only thinking of oneself and answering with "But..."...Do you manage to follow all these key elements at all times? ;)
@rambansal (574)
• India
5 Aug 11
Yes, dear, I try my best but may be forgetting sometimes in the heat of a discussion. Moreover, I am temperamental, as a close friend recognized at the inception of our talking. However, I knew it before.
@ThrillerAssassin (295)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
Hi rambansal :)
Its so nice of you to share this lecture.I believe you in listening more rather than trying to beat someone word for word. Also, the use of "sorry" is truly not an indicator of admitting a mistake but rather a sign of respect. People usually use their prides while on a conversation therefore causing some competitive atmosphere that may sometimes cause misunderstandings and conflicts. You should really listen carefully first on the one you're talking before saying anything. Before saying anything, make sure its on a proper way and that it won't hurt anyone in any way. :)
@rambansal (574)
• India
5 Aug 11
Oh dear, your name frightens my soft loving heart. My dear, this is not a lecture but a friendly conversation. Sorry, if I sounded like giving a lecture. Why it is mentioned as a lecture in the previous comment has a different and subjective reason. Thanks for your kind words and participation.
@ThrillerAssassin (295)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
Oops..Don't worry about my name, it has nothing to do with my true identity. Anyway, its just a username. I just said that this is a lecture because you are telling something and that something is a good thing. I can just really relate to what have you said here. :)
@lbygyh970855 (237)
• China
5 Aug 11
Why are you so smart? It let me guess you're a phylosophor. Communication is very important in our daily life. And the skills you talked above are really helpful to me. Thanks!
@rambansal (574)
• India
5 Aug 11
Thanks for the compliment. Of course, in my interests, one role I like to play is 'Philosopher', and I think you refer to the same role. I try to think to create new ideas for life, or seeing old ones in a new light.
@madden12 (81)
• United States
5 Aug 11
Having something to say is important as well. You can't have a conversation with yourself, or if the other person is doing the talking. Be able to back up your assertions with facts and don't devolve to personal attacks. It is never fun to be talking to someone only to have someone start to attack you for your positions. What is the point of talking then?
@rambansal (574)
• India
5 Aug 11
Yes, friend, you have raised very relevant issues of a conversation. This enriches the discussion and supplements my assertions. Thanks.
@preethaanju (3000)
• India
4 Aug 11
Yes a little bit of politeness and courtesy will go a long way in striking a good conversation.Being rude to the other or criticizing without reason will only spoil a good relationship. its necessary to be modest and not to arrogate .
@rambansal (574)
• India
5 Aug 11
Yes, preetha, a good point you provided 'modesty' to the discussion. Being modes is always a beauty of the person, and this is highly important in a conversation. Thanks for your wise words and participation.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
hello ram,
Thanks for this lecture 
I will try to remember this and keep handy in mind.
I know I am too bad when it comes to listening as I am kind of aggressive person that listens more to what I feel and never listen to what the other person is trying to say.
Sometimes this bad attitude made me looks inconsiderate with the other person.
(and goodness....I don't care a d*mn)
I really need a good punishment sometimes 
jaiho®
I will try to remember this and keep handy in mind.
I know I am too bad when it comes to listening as I am kind of aggressive person that listens more to what I feel and never listen to what the other person is trying to say.
Sometimes this bad attitude made me looks inconsiderate with the other person.
(and goodness....I don't care a d*mn)
I really need a good punishment sometimes
jaiho®@rambansal (574)
• India
5 Aug 11
Looking at the picture, I thought is to be image of an Indian God 'Ganesh', but on seeing it in enlarged view, it sounded like my own voice. Thanks for caring for my choicest sound.
Truly speaking, I have not aimed this post to you as a lecture as you have perceived. I recall you used to address me as 'sir' and that sounded like I was a lecturer in a school. I think you have changed your way of addressing me but not the perception you had of me. Please treat me as a friend, if you can.
You are a nice person already, but there is always a need of improvements. Thanks for you agree to be receptive. Hahaha.. you came with your bro sid to vote for you.
@QeeGood (1213)
• Sweden
4 Aug 11
I think we should be a good listener and a concerning speaker. A converation on terms with a reciprocal respect for one another using a formal language with courtesy. As you said instead of saying; "No". You could say, "No, thank you".
When there is a balance of asking of concern and listening to each other I find it a healthy communication.
@rambansal (574)
• India
5 Aug 11
Oh yes, my dear, you mentioned what I missed 'courtesy' as an essential element of a conversation. Your allowing others to be benefited by your wisdom is most welcome. You enrich a discussion through participation, I appreciate.
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
wow.. thank you for this input about communication. I will be using this everytime i am talking with someone. I guess this helps with understanding the other person as well as the words being spoken.
@rambansal (574)
• India
5 Aug 11
That is like a good girl, you are. Being open to learn whatever is available around makes us wiser and more useful to ourselves and the society. You are always welcome.
