Texting or conversation
By 2004cqui
@2004cqui (2812)
United States
August 4, 2011 10:32am CST
My autistic son shared this with me last night. He invited a girl on a date and went to dinner. At dinner she sat down and started answering messages on her cell phone. After the food came to the table my son started to ask her question as hint to get off the phone. She'd stop after he asked the question and say "What did you say?" She did this all through dinner. He paid his half of the bill and walked out. That was too funny! How about you? Do you know people like this? Or are you a person who would text rather than talk to your dinner partner?
5 people like this
24 responses
@Chevee (5905)
• United States
4 Aug 11
Hi 2004cqui. A shout out to your son for handling that in such a wonderful way. I can understand how he feel. This texting has taken over all socializing with people. I have went to visit people or just in their company and I am doing the talking and they are busy texting on their cell phones and I know they are not listening to me because I am not getting any response from them at all. Or I am in their company having a conversation with them and the cellphone rings and they answer it and completely ignore me it burns me up. Sometime I just keep on talking while they are talking on the phone because I know they can't comprehend both conversations at the same time.
1 person likes this
@Tanitac (44)
• South Africa
5 Aug 11
First of all, Congrats on rasing a son that is not a push over and has high values, morals and stanards!
I think he did the right thing, It takes alot to be a gentlemen or a lady after someone had treated you badly.
The whole point of a date is to get to know the person you are going on the date with, obviously. How are you suppose to do that if you are constantly on your phone? A date requires good conversation in order to get know someone and being on your phone the whole time is just going to hinder the whole experience. It is rude and quiet honestly a waste the others persons time.
So the fact that he was such a gentlemen is definately something to look up to and I hope he has better dates in the future who are actually interested in being there with him!
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
4 Aug 11
First of all 'autistic' is mostly a label. I think that your son may have felt more hurt or 'put down' by this girl's behaviour than some other people might have done but, probably thanks to the way you have brought him up to deal with life, he actually coped with the situation better than many 'normal' (another label!) people would have done. All power to him!
I think that that selfish girl needs to be told EXACTLY what sort of person she is, NOT because your son is autistic (and she treated him abominably) but because SHE is what she is and she doesn't deserve to be dated by anyone!
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
5 Aug 11
I am wondering if I wasn't being too harsh. Maybe the girl also has a form of autism!
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
5 Aug 11
Actually the reason I shared the challenge he has and the situation he had to handle was to show people autistic isn't lack of inelegance it is a problem of organizational thought. Decision making on the fly and remember small little yet very important details is so hard he frustrates himself.
@Loen210 (1540)
• United States
5 Aug 11
Disrespectful girl. Was she autistic also, that could have effected the way she acted?
Sorry to hear about the uncomfortable date. I'm not a cell phone/text person, so can't imagine being the person with it, living in her phone texting!
Hope your respectful son finds a much better date! Sounds like he deserves a great one. :o)
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
5 Aug 11
I prefer to talk.
I think to write to someone at dinner was very funny.
then better to go to dinner.
I think it's very nice to talk to someone at dinner to discuss different things.
nice day!
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
5 Aug 11
When I'm with a friend for a couple of hours, my phone rarely disturbs me so I will check to see who it is then announce something like "I wonder what so and so wants". I make it a quick conversation and that's it. If I'm out with a business associate, an employee, or in a meeting my phone is off. I expect the same from others. I would have been more abrupt than he was but he has a huge heart.
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
I hate it when people is texting or when they answer their phone while we are talking. I think it is so rude! I would walk out to to the person who will do that to me. Good thing he paid half of the bill. If I were in that situation, I would just leave.
Most cellphone here in my country is prepaid like mine. I haven't load up to text because most of my friends is in internet and it is our basic communication. I will load up only if I will be away from home. If I will go out and be away for how many hours here at home.
@melanie030 (82)
• United States
5 Aug 11
Im a texter but i would not text while i am at dinner i rather talk & enjoy my time & dinner. And yea i no people like that is a funny thing is not a problem some times but all the time constently is jus not cool on ur own time is better to text but if u have company i dont feel is the right thing unless is a must as urgent or an emergancy..
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
5 Aug 11
Whether text or talk on the cell phone I have rules. My life is so busy I have created yet another block of time in which to do both. I will check who tried to contact me and if I know it probably isn't an emergency I will get back to them in three different portions of my day. In the morning, before work, in the afternoon at lunch and in the evening after 8. It works, people respect that and I get more done in less time.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
That was rude of her! Good for you, your son was wise enough to walk out on her. shame on her.
@bubbletush (1332)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
i have encountered people who are like that who keeps on texting during mealtime while in a group. i find the behavior rude and offensive. i have experienced that with some friends. i mean, we get together to catch up with everybody and this person keeps on texting it seems like she was with us physically but would rather be somewhere else.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
That was a nice way of your son in dealing with such a situation.
In my opinion, the girl isn't interested with having a conversation, because if she is, she will stop texting and be attentive to her date.
She deserved the walk out of your son. But your son had really fine manners because he still paid his half. Some men would have just plainly walked out on her, even if dinner is not yet served .
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
i think the girl was very rude. If i am with another person especially if it is a date, i try my best not to answer messages in my phone, i only read the messages as fast as i can and answer it later if it is not an emergency.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
5 Aug 11
I can't stand it when I'm out to eat with someone and all they do is text. To me, it's rude because aren't you the person the other person originally wanted to eat with? So it just makes me mad when I'm with someone and all they do is text. Good for your son on paying and then just walking out. He should've done it sooner since the girl was so rude, but at least you know you raised a nice son that has manners :) I know when my boyfriend and I go to a restaurant we try to pay as little attention to our phones as possible. The only exception is if it's a parent or an emergency.
But when I go out, I want to talk to my dinner partner so I can catch up with them and see how they're doing.
@AgentGulaman (3546)
• Philippines
5 Aug 11
Oh my! That was very rude of a girl your son had there. It really is impolite to keep on texting when you are having a date. Dating means getting to know each other, and that can be best achieved through conversation. Good thing your son did the right thing of just dumping the girl. As for me, I'd prefer the conversation anytime against texting. Conversation has the element of emotions where we can see and feel what the other is saying unlike through text where you just don't know what the true emotions of the texter is all about.
@thetis74 (1525)
•
4 Aug 11
That must be really annoying for him. I would rather not go on a date if that is what I do to my date. That would be so disrespectful of me. Unless it is something very important or a family matter that needs to be answered. But I would asked to be excused if I want to text for a while. It was good for her that you son walked out. I hope she learned her lesson.
@lbygyh970855 (237)
• China
5 Aug 11
You have a good son. That was really funny. He has done it right. That was too rude. Yeah, sometimes I will meet such persons and I don't like them at all.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
5 Aug 11
He's got a heart of gold. He has manners. I fear the future of these people who do this looks bleak at best! When trying to enter and remain in the business world what you do socially has a direct impact on your career, if not now, later down the line.
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
4 Aug 11
Three cheers for your son, I'd say he handled the situation pretty good! The girl was totally rude and clueless on how a date actually works. Yes, I have met people like that, and you'd think they'd know better (but obviously not lol) A date is for the purpose of getting to know each other, and if she didn't want to get to know him, she should have never accepted the date in the first place. You'd think most people would put the phone on vibrate, and maybe check it quickly to see if it's a true emergency, if not, then the text (or call) should be ignored. Tell your son he's probably lucky he learned this about her now rather than later. Ms 'right' is out there somewhere, and she will appreciate him for being exactly who he is and not ignore him.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
4 Aug 11
I had a scrapbooking weekend at my sisters once...her friend who was also there spent most of the time on the phone...I asked my sister if she wanted to be with us or all those people whom she thought she had to talk to. A couple of months later I guess the friend and her husband got into a big fight. They were at an airport with my sister and her husband...the whole time she was on the phone...I asked my sister if she had ignored her husband to talk on the phone...a light bulb went off for my sister then....she said...now I know what you mean...she is constantly on the phone. If I am together with this person again I might mention it.....she has choices and ignoring me is not going to be tolerated!
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
4 Aug 11
Regardless if you are a texter or not what that girl did was extremely rude. If you go out to dinner with them it is on the assumption that you want to get to know them and spend time with them, not ignore them while you text on your phone. I could see answering one text that might be urgent or answering to tell a friend you will get back to them later because you are on a date, but texting the whole evening is just bad manners. I am glad your son did what he did. Good for him.
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
4 Aug 11
Oh better not to go for a date if your date is like that you waste your time together in front of food and what a boring date. If they will go for texting better to let go off and stop the dinner date. I prefer conversation than texting. That is the best thing we have to share with somebody or someone live and not for writing on my phone. How nice to talk with friends on live.
@drasnian (548)
•
4 Aug 11
I'm so impressed that your son had the guts to just walk out after paying his share of the bill - I know I couldn't have done it! All too often we put up with being treated badly rather than 'causing a scene' etc, even though it would be totally justified.
I think people are rarely fully disconnected from technology nowadays - our free time is spent on the computer, watching tv, playing games, walking somewhere listening to an ipod, texting, etc etc. My partner was phone obsessed when he first got his iPhone and it drove me mad. He has got much better now, particularly for important things like going out for dinner, but he does still spend lots of time glued to it - people don't seem to realise that it's rude to play on a phone or text whilst someone's talking to you (even if you think you're giving them 'full attention').
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
4 Aug 11
Texting has become a major problem, true, but I also can't stand these scenarios: get invited to lunch by two coworkers but they have a conversation with eachother and you sit quietly eating lunch! Two people get on an elevator speaking in another language and giggling. This happened to me about 20 years ago. How rude!
@Grumpster (1)
•
4 Aug 11
Personally I would rather talk to someone. I was brought up into a family where I didn't have a mobile phone until I was 16 so I had to rely on going out and actually meeting people to talk to them, instead of phoning or texting them.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
4 Aug 11
Isn't amazing people actually brag about buying their 7 year old their first cell phone?! My sons were never given a cell phone. First they had to have a job, then pay for it and then we let them in on our family plan. I think it did something for their social graces!