Extra- Marital Relationship......What do you say ?
By edumate
@rollylolly (2843)
India
August 8, 2011 10:01am CST
Recently came to know from one of our colleague that he is involved in an extra marital affair with a girl whom he met on the net. He said that he is much happy now and it improved his quality of life . I was so taken aback to hear this . I asked him that does he not feel guilty that he is cheating his wife ? He replied with confidence "not at all" , rather it saved his marriage .He was not physiaclly satisfied with his wife and so this helped him to maintain the relationship with his wife . She has no idea of this and he says "I still love her as before" Is this possible for one to love someone and get physical satisfaction from some other person . He says he also loves his new found mate .She knows about his problem with his wife and still has no hesitation to continue the realtion . She is studying Bachelors and from a good background . I feel so puzzled , what is the fate of her ? How justified this relationship is ? Would like to know from all my friends here what you feel about this .
2 people like this
16 responses
@umabharti (3972)
• India
8 Aug 11
ONCE Upon a time it was said to be faithful and honest to ones spouse,bt nowadays things are happening in such a way that we can not give any justification towards the problems.In this game i think all all feeling happy.
@umabharti (3972)
• India
10 Aug 11
why is it so rampant these days,what are the causes for such incidents ?
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
11 Aug 11
Life is so fast now and pepople are so impatient , no time to wait and adjust with uncomfortable situations . They prefer fast solution . Too much advances in technology is also a cause for such rampant instances .
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
9 Aug 11
Thanks umabharti ! you are right nowadays these incidents are rampant .
@koperty3 (1876)
•
8 Aug 11
As I said many times before if you are committed to someone to stay committed. If my partner would cheat on me he knows that I would never forgive him this. He also know that having affair is like making decision that he does not love me any more and don't want this relationship to be continue.
As we speak before about steroids. You know that features after taking this cake change. My partner did not find other woman only because I was look different and maybe not so attractive like before my accident. Lack of physical satisfaction is only excuse. I wish you lovely day!
@koperty3 (1876)
•
8 Aug 11
Yes but what if they got old and got wrinkled or had accident or even put some weight? We are not the same all our lives. We are constantly changing our look. I can't imagine that I will cheat on my partner because he will be not attractive to me any more. Committmment is something more than nice boobs and round shape bottom.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
10 Aug 11
Personally somehow this situation and Marriage really needs some help. Especially the husband. But if both women know about what the husband is doing and allowing it, personally that is a little odd as well. Overall that can be the problem sometimes with the Internet it is so easy to get hooked in with someone else if you allow it and forsake your husband, wife, family etc. as well. Sounds like a situation only destined for lots of problems.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
15 Aug 11
Thanks for your response KrauseHome . You are absolutely right in modern times the internet makes things so easy that often men/women get hooked like this . The situation is for sure entangled in lots of trouble . I feel sorry for the wife and hope she knows everything and breaks off if he is not ready to restrain himself and find mutual solution to his dissatisfaction.
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
I think this guy is just making excuses for his infidelity. How can he say this saved his marriage when in fact he has just started ruining it. If he truly loves his wife then he shouldn't do anything to hurt her. If he is not physically satisfied with his wife anymore then he should talk to her about it and find a solution. What he created is additional problem in fact. I hope the wife finds out about his extra marital relationship soon since this is so unfair for her.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
15 Aug 11
Your viewpoints are very valid and I too hope his wife finds out everything . He is just playing with both the women . Instead of finding a solution the guy is making things more cumbersome .
@rambansal (574)
• India
10 Aug 11
Since your friend is not satisfied physically with his wife, he has a right too get it elsewhere but without much of attachment. His loving the new-found mate is undesirable as it may put his wife in trouble. Many contacts online look for transient gratifications and keep on moving from one person to another. She will also move on, so don't worry much.
Tell your friend to keep on enjoying but without attachment as she will go away soon.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
15 Aug 11
I don't think he is legally justified to seek satisfaction elsewhere . It is not chatting or such stuff that can be indulged but rather he should move with the court to break off from her and go for such relationship if at all that is what he seeks than cheat his wife and acrry on . What I could grasp by conversation with him is that he is much confident and this is no transcient phase of his life .
@Yourfreind (28)
• United Arab Emirates
9 Aug 11
if a person has their partner then shoud not approach for other relation it is too bad for both lives
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
15 Aug 11
Thanks Yourfriend .You are right such relationship are sinful and wrong .
@Galena (9110)
•
8 Aug 11
if you're not willing to be faithful to someone, you shouldn't make an oath to be faithful to them. simple as that.
an Oath is a big deal. and even if they were just in a relationship, and not married, it's just common decency not to string someone along. finish one relationship before starting another.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
9 Aug 11
Thank you so much Galena. For such people oath is not a big deal. They can do anything for self gratification.
@angemac23 (2003)
• Canada
8 Aug 11
Commitment is commitment....if one person in the relationship wants to sleep with someone else, than they should tell their partner they no longer want to be with them.....it is only fair...no one has a right to hurt another person......NO ONE!
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
9 Aug 11
An extra martial affair is truly cheating! It shows a person does not love their spouse. It shows no respect for the partner. It is selfishness. There is avery good possiblity you friends wife knows about the affair. She either doesn't care it is going on.She knows but is in denial ot just ignoring it! To me that is the end of the marriage! After I would find out the husband would be kicked out the door! I won't tollerate this s&it!
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
9 Aug 11
You are absolutely right blue65packer . Thanks for your inputs .
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
I am angry with those kind of affairs. I don't want to see or heard wife cheated by their husband. or much worse wife is cheater.
I don't understand they need extra marital relationship. Since they promise before the crowd of people and promise before God, that they love each other for better or worse...not husband betterment and worse for wife or vice versa
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
9 Aug 11
Thanks aerous . Actually for these kind of people promises and vows don't mean much .
@toniganzon (72553)
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
What a very selfish man! I feel sorry for the wife and the other woman. The other woman has no future with this man and i wonder if he made promises to her. If she knew about the fact that she's just being used i'm sure she would end the relationship unless she really wants to give him "a little help!"
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
9 Aug 11
Thanks toniganzon for joining in . You are right the life of both women are at stake .
@naija4real (1291)
•
9 Aug 11
Extra marital relationship is very wrong and it is against the teachings of the great religions such as christianity, islam etc I want to say that it is in most culture such as african culture, we have polygamous marriage, which is a kind of extra maritial relationship. In this case, a man marries more than one wife.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
9 Aug 11
Thanks naija4real ! These people don't care about sin and punishment . In cultures where polygamy is prevalent it is no hidden affair and doesn't involve cheating . It is justified as per their custom and tradition.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
9 Aug 11
The girl is looking out for some enjoyment with your colleague and he feel satisfied physically just because he was unhappy with his wife. I think he only need to talk with his wife and find a solution together and he need to make sure that it is not like having a meal from the restaurant as his wife did not cook well for a day. The sooner he is off from this girl there are chances his marriage is safe. Once the wife comes to know about it his marriage can be on rocks.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
15 Aug 11
Your views are absolutely true and well thought . He should think of finding ways other than this to rejuvinate the relationship with his wife . Both the women will be saved if this relationship comes to an end .
@jmay1226 (97)
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
Hi, I think that guy has a point that his getting his physical satisfaction into others for him to be contented but I am absolutely disagree with his reason. If he is not satisfied with his wife he should open and discuss it with his wife. Even it hurts but a couple should have an open communication for a stronger bond. There are many ways that her wife can learn for him to be satisfied physically. He should also education his wife on that topic or maybe they should do something together like a thrill for a change and that maybe work for him if ever. Yeah, his reason is just to be satisfied physically but he still love his wife.. but what if it will become worst?? there is no secret that will last forever.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
9 Aug 11
Thanks jmay1226 .You explained the situation so well .There may be so many other ways to enliven the married life than to go into some extra marital affair.
@waflay (2737)
• Nairobi, Kenya
8 Aug 11
Its so bad if the girl thinks the guy will leave his wife in order to be with her. As long as the wife to this guy is not aware of this, the relationship will go on for years- only in happy moments but in real sense the guy does not love the girl at all. She is just being used by this guy like a play ground that keeps him happy (more happy) with his wife. Eventually, she will blame herself for wasting her life with the guy.
@chey91chey (1)
• United States
8 Aug 11
This guy doesn't seem willing to work with his wife who he apparently loves to find ways to satisfy both him and her. When someone truly loves their partner they'll find ways for them to work. He shouldn't be cheating on her, he should be finding ways to better their relationship like finding a counselor or specialist in this matter. He should also try talking to his wife and maybe looking up new exciting things to do with his wife (in bed or not) to be more attracted to each other and maybe satisfy each other more! In my eyes this relationship with this other woman should either be non existing or the relationship with his wife should be non existing. We have one body to share with one person and one heart to share with one heart. I don't feel he's certain what love is. Who knows though? I guess if he was raised this way, this is what he sees as right.
@rollylolly (2843)
• India
9 Aug 11
Thank you so much chey91chey for your valid points expressed in your comment .
